Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

I bit one of mine. She bitten me more times than I can count, often drawing blood. It was especially a bother while driving. I thought returning the favour might discourage further biting on her part. I can't say whether or not it worked but it certainly got her attention for a moment.

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Isn't that true of everything in Australia?
As for the spanking thing I've never seen the need. How can you tell a kid in one breath that it's wrong to hit/kick/bite etc. and then turn around and smack them:confused:

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Social attitudes, yes. I loved it! Every time my OH bought something I got the change. If a man thought she had nice tits he would congratulate me, as if I'd bought or created them. It was a hoot, for a couple of weeks.

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Hitting a child - your own or someone elses, is child abuse. The minute you hit, you've lost control and given that most smacks are dealt by an angry parent, are a hell of a lot harder than a light slap. If a child of any age is going to learn what is acceptable behaviour, it has to be explained to them rationally and calmly - might take a lot of repetition but its the only way they're going to take in what you're telling them. Time outs, naughty step, confiscating toys etc etc are all way more effective because the parent remains in control and the child can clearly see the impact their own behaviour is having. Smacking generally is a nice easy option for parents who can't be bothered.

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

I dont think it should be encouraged. Too much room for abuse and really its a symptom of frustration and lazy parenting. I think parents more often than not resort to it out of anger and a lack of thinking of other things to try, therefore are not in control. And if you wait to calm down, then the moment has passed and the connection between the punishment and the crime in the kids mind is not going to be there, so its largely pointless.

We try and stick to time outs, taking toys / cherished possessions and other measures, but have to confess that sometimes when an immediate "dont do that again, you might kill yourself" action is required, then a single smack gets the message over. If you use it all the time, it looses any effect anyway as a parenting tool.

With kids its very much "monkey see, monkey do". I dont want my kids thinking that violence is an acceptable way to resolve a dispute.

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Me and Iaink had a protracted debate about this issue not so long ago, so I won't get too involved in this again, save to repeat something I said before:

If you genuinely can't tell the difference between violence (i.e. hate and intent to injure, and do harm) and mild form of parental discipline, then it's probably just as well that you don't smack your kids.


Edit: By the way, I hardly ever do smack them, they're great kids who know the rules. But they also know that if they push far enough and long enough that they run the risk of getting their backside felt.

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

I work with Pre-School children, which can be challenging at times!
In my opinion, there is no situation that justifies smacking.
Smacking is bullying ,pure and simple. As others have said it signifies lack of adult control and serves no purpose as a method of promoting acceptable behaviour in a child.
Children learn from their peers and more knowledgable others around them, if they are subject to physical abuse how are they to know that it is wrong to inflict it on others?
There are many ways for a child to learn acceptable behaviour,positive praise for instance, works wonders. If all around are being congratulated for sharing, waiting patiently or whatever, the child who is not soon catches on...how much nicer is it to praise rather than punish?
I'm not saying there is no place for punishment, but the punishment should be carried out appropriately. Count to 10 or 100 if need be and then act.

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

A smack is still a form of violence and lasy parenting im sorry its never justified

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Me too. :(

In fact nothing to laugh at, at all.:sneaky::p;)

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

I have smacked my daughter, I'm sorry to say. But it has been on very few occasions and she can't remember me having smacked her when she was little. Once she got smacked as she went to run out on the road and there was a car comming - I was scared for her, she never ran out again.

I also smacked her last year when she was being particularly obstroperous, she had just vandalised a chest of drawers and couldn't see what was wrong with it and was just smirking at me and I lost my temper, I didn't smack hard - but it was enough to make her realise she needed to pay attention to me. Two smacks in 13 years that I can remember, she's a great kid really and I love her to bits, it's a shock factor way of teaching right from wrong on some and very rare occasions. If it happens every day it's no longer a shock.

I remember getting smacked a lot when I was a kid, usually because my sister had been winding me up all day, so I would retaliate eventually and get smacked for it, she has said she used to wind me up on purpose so I got in trouble. She has also said that if I were her and she was me, she would have killed me for what went on when we were kids and she has apologised for terrorising me:blink:

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

I guess ultimately it comes down to how you want your kids to see you in later life. I would never describe my childhood as violent, but I was smacked very frequently. Didn't stop me being 'bad', just meant I stayed away from home more and did what I wanted to do outside the sight of my parents. Now, much as I get on with my folks, we rarely speak or visit, despite living 20 miles from them, I don't feel at all close to them and the same goes for my sisters. In fact, my youngest sister hasn't seen my parents for three years. I don't particularly want that for my kids. I don't get how anyone can demonstrate the difference between 'right and wrong' to a toddler by assulting them.

Mild parental deiscipline makes me laugh - in my case it would be a 6'2 14 stone guy who spend half his life in the gym hitting a 2 yr old girl who's less than 90cm tall and probably a stone and a half in weight. How the hell do you detemine 'mild' if you're angry enough to lose control? I could never bring myself to do it...

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Never and I really hate the work spanking, I always say smacking.

For me it is giving a kid mixed messages, you tell them not to hit and then you do it when they have done something wrong. When you have an aggressive 2 year old you have to be so careful with everything, I even make sure what he sees on tv has no violence, even a harmless cartoon with an element of violence and give him ideas. I am even careful with what I watch when he is around and not have anything with shouting as he starts to shout.

What he do is give him one warning, for example if he throws a toy around, he gets it taken away when he does it twice. If we are at the park and he does something, he sits with us in a kind of time-out for 1 minute, 2nd time we go. This method seems to be working somewhat.

But for me what has improved things is having a calm living environment. Both me and my husband are easily upset lol...not necessarily with each other but now we are never like this in front of Kai, everything is just calm, calm, calm

A parent that smacks has no control over their children.

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

I have never smacked my child.

I would never condone smacking a child for being naughty. I would condone smacking in cases where it is being used to reinforce that what the kid has just done is dangerous. If a kid gets a slap on the arse for trying to stick a fork into a power outlet, it is rather less likely to repeat the experiment.

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

I found that when as a child I ran my Triang truck into a power outlet and smashing it, a "slap on the arse" was not required the resulting shock was enough to put me off for quite some time. :eek:

Re: do you indulge in spanking
 

Consequences......how you would hate yourself if that little smack triggered him to fall and end up in hospital

Consequences ......of his actions - privileges/or loss of

Mike I know it's a hard one but play safe;)