For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Sep 3rd 2012, 6:09 pm
#1
Beep
Thread Starter
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 8,311
For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Shamelessly plagiarised from Mary Schmich, with changes made by me.
Inside every British Expat poster lurks a know-it-all speaker dying to get out, some wannabe world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life in Canada to people who, rightly or wrongly, desperately want to live there. Many of us try to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of haves, have nots, wannabes, will never be’s, and the plain retared. Alas, to the blinkered we’re always wrong, to the experienced we’re both right and wrong, and the retarded are often confused with what we write. Still there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing this type of shit.
I encourage anyone looking for the Canadian dream to try this, and I thank you for indulging my last ever post on British Expats. Ladies, gentlemen, and retards of the class of British Expats 2012:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the opportunities and beauty of the UK. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the opportunities and beauty of the UK until you leave. But trust me, in 2 years, you'll look back at your life and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous your life really was. The UK is not as bad as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. After emigration, the blindside will occur thousands of miles away from familiar and sought after support. Don’t pass this reality over lightly.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Smile.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Moving to Canada, you cannot avoid this. Just be gentle and understanding to those important to you. Those you are leaving will grieve their loss in ways you cannot grasp, and your emotions will belittle life in the UK to justify your decision in ways those grieving cannot comprehend.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
In real life, remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
On the internet, compliments and insults from random, unknown, strangers are meaningless. Let them pass over you and don’t give them a second thought.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Canada will not miraculously change this.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Thinking “What If” is not good for your emotional health and not a reason to uproot a comfortable happy life, moving to a potentially unknown mediocrity.
Your children can be happy and thrive no matter where you live. As a parent, your happiness and stability is more important. Do not underestimate the importance of your childrens access and interactions with grandparents.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Moving to Canada will likely make you fatter. Be mindful of what you eat, the portions you dish, and avoid the “drive instead of walk” mentality.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions to your immigration application, even if you don't follow them, which you probably won’t. This will save you money.
If you’re moving for a bigger home and more value for your money, Vancouver is not right for you.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Live in London, UK, once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Nova Scotia once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel, no matter how hard living in Canada makes this. The US is not “abroad”.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. Harper will be in power for the rest of his life. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children remained children for longer.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. Maybe you’ll be on your partners temporary work permit. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Don’t mess with reconstructive surgery or the less invasive treatments such as botox or by the time you’re 40 you will look like a 40yr old trying to look 25 but actually look 50, and a bit of an ugly pig. Worry about your inside rather than your outside.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Cheerio
Inside every British Expat poster lurks a know-it-all speaker dying to get out, some wannabe world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life in Canada to people who, rightly or wrongly, desperately want to live there. Many of us try to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of haves, have nots, wannabes, will never be’s, and the plain retared. Alas, to the blinkered we’re always wrong, to the experienced we’re both right and wrong, and the retarded are often confused with what we write. Still there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing this type of shit.
I encourage anyone looking for the Canadian dream to try this, and I thank you for indulging my last ever post on British Expats. Ladies, gentlemen, and retards of the class of British Expats 2012:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the opportunities and beauty of the UK. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the opportunities and beauty of the UK until you leave. But trust me, in 2 years, you'll look back at your life and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous your life really was. The UK is not as bad as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. After emigration, the blindside will occur thousands of miles away from familiar and sought after support. Don’t pass this reality over lightly.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Smile.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Moving to Canada, you cannot avoid this. Just be gentle and understanding to those important to you. Those you are leaving will grieve their loss in ways you cannot grasp, and your emotions will belittle life in the UK to justify your decision in ways those grieving cannot comprehend.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
In real life, remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
On the internet, compliments and insults from random, unknown, strangers are meaningless. Let them pass over you and don’t give them a second thought.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Canada will not miraculously change this.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Thinking “What If” is not good for your emotional health and not a reason to uproot a comfortable happy life, moving to a potentially unknown mediocrity.
Your children can be happy and thrive no matter where you live. As a parent, your happiness and stability is more important. Do not underestimate the importance of your childrens access and interactions with grandparents.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Moving to Canada will likely make you fatter. Be mindful of what you eat, the portions you dish, and avoid the “drive instead of walk” mentality.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions to your immigration application, even if you don't follow them, which you probably won’t. This will save you money.
If you’re moving for a bigger home and more value for your money, Vancouver is not right for you.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Live in London, UK, once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Nova Scotia once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel, no matter how hard living in Canada makes this. The US is not “abroad”.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. Harper will be in power for the rest of his life. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children remained children for longer.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. Maybe you’ll be on your partners temporary work permit. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Don’t mess with reconstructive surgery or the less invasive treatments such as botox or by the time you’re 40 you will look like a 40yr old trying to look 25 but actually look 50, and a bit of an ugly pig. Worry about your inside rather than your outside.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Cheerio
Sep 3rd 2012, 6:25 pm
#2
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 266
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Shamelessly plagiarised from Mary Schmich, with changes made by me.
Inside every British Expat poster lurks a know-it-all speaker dying to get out, some wannabe world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life in Canada to people who, rightly or wrongly, desperately want to live there. Many of us try to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of haves, have nots, wannabes, will never be’s, and the plain retared. Alas, to the blinkered we’re always wrong, to the experienced we’re both right and wrong, and the retarded are often confused with what we write. Still there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing this type of shit.
I encourage anyone looking for the Canadian dream to try this, and I thank you for indulging my last ever post on British Expats. Ladies, gentlemen, and retards of the class of British Expats 2012:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the opportunities and beauty of the UK. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the opportunities and beauty of the UK until you leave. But trust me, in 2 years, you'll look back at your life and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous your life really was. The UK is not as bad as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. After emigration, the blindside will occur thousands of miles away from familiar and sought after support. Don’t pass this reality over lightly.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Smile.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Moving to Canada, you cannot avoid this. Just be gentle and understanding to those important to you. Those you are leaving will grieve their loss in ways you cannot grasp, and your emotions will belittle life in the UK to justify your decision in ways those grieving cannot comprehend.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
In real life, remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
On the internet, compliments and insults from random, unknown, strangers are meaningless. Let them pass over you and don’t give them a second thought.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Canada will not miraculously change this.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Thinking “What If” is not good for your emotional health and not a reason to uproot a comfortable happy life, moving to a potentially unknown mediocrity.
Your children can be happy and thrive no matter where you live. As a parent, your happiness and stability is more important. Do not underestimate the importance of your childrens access and interactions with grandparents.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Moving to Canada will likely make you fatter. Be mindful of what you eat, the portions you dish, and avoid the “drive instead of walk” mentality.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions to your immigration application, even if you don't follow them, which you probably won’t. This will save you money.
If you’re moving for a bigger home and more value for your money, Vancouver is not right for you.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Live in London, UK, once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Nova Scotia once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel, no matter how hard living in Canada makes this. The US is not “abroad”.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. Harper will be in power for the rest of his life. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children remained children for longer.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. Maybe you’ll be on your partners temporary work permit. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Don’t mess with reconstructive surgery or the less invasive treatments such as botox or by the time you’re 40 you will look like a 40yr old trying to look 25 but actually look 50, and a bit of an ugly pig. Worry about your inside rather than your outside.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Cheerio
Inside every British Expat poster lurks a know-it-all speaker dying to get out, some wannabe world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life in Canada to people who, rightly or wrongly, desperately want to live there. Many of us try to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of haves, have nots, wannabes, will never be’s, and the plain retared. Alas, to the blinkered we’re always wrong, to the experienced we’re both right and wrong, and the retarded are often confused with what we write. Still there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing this type of shit.
I encourage anyone looking for the Canadian dream to try this, and I thank you for indulging my last ever post on British Expats. Ladies, gentlemen, and retards of the class of British Expats 2012:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the opportunities and beauty of the UK. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the opportunities and beauty of the UK until you leave. But trust me, in 2 years, you'll look back at your life and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous your life really was. The UK is not as bad as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. After emigration, the blindside will occur thousands of miles away from familiar and sought after support. Don’t pass this reality over lightly.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Smile.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Moving to Canada, you cannot avoid this. Just be gentle and understanding to those important to you. Those you are leaving will grieve their loss in ways you cannot grasp, and your emotions will belittle life in the UK to justify your decision in ways those grieving cannot comprehend.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
In real life, remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
On the internet, compliments and insults from random, unknown, strangers are meaningless. Let them pass over you and don’t give them a second thought.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Canada will not miraculously change this.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Thinking “What If” is not good for your emotional health and not a reason to uproot a comfortable happy life, moving to a potentially unknown mediocrity.
Your children can be happy and thrive no matter where you live. As a parent, your happiness and stability is more important. Do not underestimate the importance of your childrens access and interactions with grandparents.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Moving to Canada will likely make you fatter. Be mindful of what you eat, the portions you dish, and avoid the “drive instead of walk” mentality.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions to your immigration application, even if you don't follow them, which you probably won’t. This will save you money.
If you’re moving for a bigger home and more value for your money, Vancouver is not right for you.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Live in London, UK, once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Nova Scotia once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel, no matter how hard living in Canada makes this. The US is not “abroad”.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. Harper will be in power for the rest of his life. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children remained children for longer.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. Maybe you’ll be on your partners temporary work permit. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Don’t mess with reconstructive surgery or the less invasive treatments such as botox or by the time you’re 40 you will look like a 40yr old trying to look 25 but actually look 50, and a bit of an ugly pig. Worry about your inside rather than your outside.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Cheerio
thanks for your comments you never know may bump into you one day xx
Sep 3rd 2012, 6:27 pm
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Almonte, ON
Posts: 1,061
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Should have told me all of this 3 years ago lol. I'll use sunscreen...Promised!!! 
Sep 3rd 2012, 6:29 pm
#4
Account Closed
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 71
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Unknown mediocrity, loved that one.
I hear you, but could have done without the 'retarded'.
People here are at various stages of their life and expectations.
Some will listen, some won't. As I always say, listen to all opinions but decide for yourself.
I hear you, but could have done without the 'retarded'.
People here are at various stages of their life and expectations.
Some will listen, some won't. As I always say, listen to all opinions but decide for yourself.
Sep 3rd 2012, 6:38 pm
#6
Banned
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Canada
Posts: 314
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
I never knew you could get that much shit on one page.
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Sep 3rd 2012, 6:41 pm
#8
limey party pooper
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 9,982
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Have you gorn?
Sep 3rd 2012, 6:56 pm
#10
Dive Bar Drunk
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 8,649
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Shamelessly plagiarised from Mary Schmich, with changes made by me.
Inside every British Expat poster lurks a know-it-all speaker dying to get out, some wannabe world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life in Canada to people who, rightly or wrongly, desperately want to live there. Many of us try to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of haves, have nots, wannabes, will never be’s, and the plain retared. Alas, to the blinkered we’re always wrong, to the experienced we’re both right and wrong, and the retarded are often confused with what we write. Still there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing this type of shit.
I encourage anyone looking for the Canadian dream to try this, and I thank you for indulging my last ever post on British Expats. Ladies, gentlemen, and retards of the class of British Expats 2012:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the opportunities and beauty of the UK. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the opportunities and beauty of the UK until you leave. But trust me, in 2 years, you'll look back at your life and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous your life really was. The UK is not as bad as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. After emigration, the blindside will occur thousands of miles away from familiar and sought after support. Don’t pass this reality over lightly.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Smile.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Moving to Canada, you cannot avoid this. Just be gentle and understanding to those important to you. Those you are leaving will grieve their loss in ways you cannot grasp, and your emotions will belittle life in the UK to justify your decision in ways those grieving cannot comprehend.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
In real life, remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
On the internet, compliments and insults from random, unknown, strangers are meaningless. Let them pass over you and don’t give them a second thought.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Canada will not miraculously change this.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Thinking “What If” is not good for your emotional health and not a reason to uproot a comfortable happy life, moving to a potentially unknown mediocrity.
Your children can be happy and thrive no matter where you live. As a parent, your happiness and stability is more important. Do not underestimate the importance of your childrens access and interactions with grandparents.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Moving to Canada will likely make you fatter. Be mindful of what you eat, the portions you dish, and avoid the “drive instead of walk” mentality.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions to your immigration application, even if you don't follow them, which you probably won’t. This will save you money.
If you’re moving for a bigger home and more value for your money, Vancouver is not right for you.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Live in London, UK, once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Nova Scotia once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel, no matter how hard living in Canada makes this. The US is not “abroad”.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. Harper will be in power for the rest of his life. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children remained children for longer.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. Maybe you’ll be on your partners temporary work permit. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Don’t mess with reconstructive surgery or the less invasive treatments such as botox or by the time you’re 40 you will look like a 40yr old trying to look 25 but actually look 50, and a bit of an ugly pig. Worry about your inside rather than your outside.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Cheerio
Inside every British Expat poster lurks a know-it-all speaker dying to get out, some wannabe world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life in Canada to people who, rightly or wrongly, desperately want to live there. Many of us try to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of haves, have nots, wannabes, will never be’s, and the plain retared. Alas, to the blinkered we’re always wrong, to the experienced we’re both right and wrong, and the retarded are often confused with what we write. Still there's no reason we can't entertain ourselves by composing this type of shit.
I encourage anyone looking for the Canadian dream to try this, and I thank you for indulging my last ever post on British Expats. Ladies, gentlemen, and retards of the class of British Expats 2012:
Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the opportunities and beauty of the UK. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the opportunities and beauty of the UK until you leave. But trust me, in 2 years, you'll look back at your life and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous your life really was. The UK is not as bad as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. After emigration, the blindside will occur thousands of miles away from familiar and sought after support. Don’t pass this reality over lightly.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Smile.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Moving to Canada, you cannot avoid this. Just be gentle and understanding to those important to you. Those you are leaving will grieve their loss in ways you cannot grasp, and your emotions will belittle life in the UK to justify your decision in ways those grieving cannot comprehend.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.
In real life, remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
On the internet, compliments and insults from random, unknown, strangers are meaningless. Let them pass over you and don’t give them a second thought.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Canada will not miraculously change this.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Thinking “What If” is not good for your emotional health and not a reason to uproot a comfortable happy life, moving to a potentially unknown mediocrity.
Your children can be happy and thrive no matter where you live. As a parent, your happiness and stability is more important. Do not underestimate the importance of your childrens access and interactions with grandparents.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Moving to Canada will likely make you fatter. Be mindful of what you eat, the portions you dish, and avoid the “drive instead of walk” mentality.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions to your immigration application, even if you don't follow them, which you probably won’t. This will save you money.
If you’re moving for a bigger home and more value for your money, Vancouver is not right for you.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Once you emigrate, all of this will be gone.
Live in London, UK, once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Nova Scotia once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel, no matter how hard living in Canada makes this. The US is not “abroad”.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. Harper will be in power for the rest of his life. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children remained children for longer.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. Maybe you’ll be on your partners temporary work permit. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.
Don’t mess with reconstructive surgery or the less invasive treatments such as botox or by the time you’re 40 you will look like a 40yr old trying to look 25 but actually look 50, and a bit of an ugly pig. Worry about your inside rather than your outside.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
Cheerio
Last edited by JamesM; Sep 3rd 2012 at 7:02 pm.
Sep 3rd 2012, 6:58 pm
#11
Dive Bar Drunk
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 8,649
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
End of an era.
I wonder how history will judge El_Richo's contribution on this forum?
I wonder how history will judge El_Richo's contribution on this forum?
Sep 3rd 2012, 7:22 pm
#12
Pictou County Superstar™
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: On top of the Green hill, NS
Posts: 4,219
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Sep 3rd 2012, 7:35 pm
#13
Lowering the tone
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Here and there
Posts: 7,351
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
el_richo?
el-rachel, more like.
el-rachel, more like.
Sep 3rd 2012, 7:53 pm
#14
Born again atheist
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: Europe (to be specified).
Posts: 30,259
Re: For current and wannabe immigrants, my last bit of advice.
Well I thought it was beeeyooootiful!!!
I'm ****ing right off to get some sunscreen.
Doh! Labour Day. Bugger.
I'm ****ing right off to get some sunscreen.
Doh! Labour Day. Bugger.