Crap jokes
Jan 25th 2007, 8:41 pm
#1
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: NS
Posts: 1,212
Crap jokes
What's the most crappy joke you know or have been told?
Here's mine...............
Where does a baby ape sleep....................
..................In an apricot
How crap is that
Here's mine...............
Where does a baby ape sleep....................
..................In an apricot
How crap is that
Jan 25th 2007, 8:54 pm
#2
Magnificently Withering
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Oakville, ON
Posts: 6,891
Re: Crap jokes
I love "cracker jokes" - here are a couple of my favourites...
what do you call a man who used to be interested in farm machinery?
- an ex-tractor fan
where do astronauts leave their cars?
- at parking meteors
and my all-time best ever:
what's brown and sticky?
- a stick
what do you call a man who used to be interested in farm machinery?
- an ex-tractor fan
where do astronauts leave their cars?
- at parking meteors
and my all-time best ever:
what's brown and sticky?
- a stick
Jan 25th 2007, 8:59 pm
#4
Magnificently Withering
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Oakville, ON
Posts: 6,891
Jan 25th 2007, 9:12 pm
#6
Banned
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: In Limbo
Posts: 15,706
Re: Crap jokes
two nuns riding down a cobbled street on their bikes. One turns to the other and says 'I've never come this way before'
(sorry)
(sorry)
Jan 25th 2007, 10:53 pm
#7
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,715
Re: Crap jokes
In the cafe, what did one plate say to the other plate?
- Lunch is on me.
- Lunch is on me.
Jan 25th 2007, 11:06 pm
#8
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,715
Re: Crap jokes
Did you hear the one about the broken pencil?
- Ah nevermind... there isn't any point.
- Ah nevermind... there isn't any point.
Jan 26th 2007, 4:10 am
#9
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,715
Re: Crap jokes
Why do mice have small ballls?
- Cos not that many know how to dance.
- Cos not that many know how to dance.
Jan 26th 2007, 4:14 am
#10
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,715
Re: Crap jokes
Do you smoke after sex?
- I dunno! I've never looked.
- I dunno! I've never looked.
Jan 26th 2007, 12:53 pm
#11
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,715
Re: Crap jokes
So, the blonde says to the gym instructor, "Can you teach me to do the splits?"
He says, "How flexible are you?"
She replies, "I can't make Tuesdays"
He says, "How flexible are you?"
She replies, "I can't make Tuesdays"
Jan 26th 2007, 1:53 pm
#12
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 21
Re: Crap jokes
Here one we got in a christmas cracker over christmas. Being as we had had a few drinks by then, we all found it hilariously funny!
Why is milk so fast?
Because it's pasteurised before you see it!!
Why is milk so fast?
Because it's pasteurised before you see it!!
Jan 26th 2007, 4:25 pm
#13
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 9,606
Re: Crap jokes
Baby seal walks into a club.......
Jan 26th 2007, 4:56 pm
#15
Senile Member
Joined: Sep 2006
Location: North of Manchester
Posts: 1,253
Re: Crap jokes
My OH told me this one much to my dismay & groans:
What did the egg say to the sausage in the frying pan?
- "F me, a talking sausage!"
My Bro used to recount these ones every Thanksgiving & X-mas family dinner:
What do you call a man with no arms & no legs sitting on a beach?
- Matt
What do you call a man with no arms & no legs floating in the ocean?
- Bob
What do you call a man with no arms & no legs lying in a farmers field?
- Pete (Peat Moss, my bro had to explain that one to me as I'm a bit thick with jokes!)
What did the egg say to the sausage in the frying pan?
- "F me, a talking sausage!"
My Bro used to recount these ones every Thanksgiving & X-mas family dinner:
What do you call a man with no arms & no legs sitting on a beach?
- Matt
What do you call a man with no arms & no legs floating in the ocean?
- Bob
What do you call a man with no arms & no legs lying in a farmers field?
- Pete (Peat Moss, my bro had to explain that one to me as I'm a bit thick with jokes!)