BristolUK

9/10 for memory, 0/10 for originality.

Stinkypup

Guy goes to a doctor complaining that he can't tell the difference between his pee and his ejaculate. Doctor says, "Your problem is that you don't know if you're coming or going".

Oink

‘Doctor, Doctor, I can’t pronounce my Fs, Ts and Hs.’
‘Well you can’t say fairer than that, then.’


‘Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming about these horrible sexual acts – sadism, bestiality, necrophilia. What shall I do?’
‘Forget it, you’re flogging a dead horse.’

BristolUK

Don't forget the old

Doc - Big breaths
Patient - (proudly) Yeth and I'm only thicktheen

scrubbedexpat091

Not a doctor joke, can't recall any good ones...

But one thing I have often wondered.

Easier to be a doctor now with all sorts of technology and medications, or in the past when doctors had a more limited knowledge, technology and medications.

Has the profession of doctoring become easier or more difficult with all the new technology?


For the resident doctors here, how did you decide on what you would practice, GP vs a specialty of some sort, always been curious how doctors decide...


Don't know how all you doctors fit all that stuff you need to learn into your brains....Makes my brain hurt just thinking about it....lol

Stinkypup

Tricky to say as I have only practised when technology has been available. What I would say is that amazing though it may seem, we don't know everything Medical information and guidance using research validated protocols enable us to treat patients as well as we can- I do have to consult this information fairly regularly, I don't remember everything!!

As GPs anything can come through the door and the scope of our knowledge has to be wide- a jack of all trades!! We have to sieve the significant medical issues from the insignificant man flu and general malaise.

The art of being a good doctor is to be able to communicate well and to take a good history. A lot of the time one can work out what is wrong with the patient before examining them or sending them for investigations/ using the "technology"

With regards to specialties, I trained as a Maxillofacial surgeon, initial degree in Dentistry and then Medicine as one needs to be dually qualified- due to an assortment of things, lack of available jobs in the specialty at the time, Snoop working as a GP giving me an idea of what that was like, I kind of drifted into training as a GP.

scrubbedexpat091

Ahhh that big book always in the doctors office, hmmmm its like cliff notes....

Yes, I don't expect doctors to know everything off their brains, just amazes me how much a doctor does know off the top though, and in the surgical side how anyone can cut someone open, cut veins, arteries, and such, remove organs, replace organs and so on, no idea how all that is remembered...

I've had my GP go to google to get info, as does the psychiatrist on a regular basis when I come up with random questions about medications, but I do tend to get overly concerned with the side effects, when the list the pharmacy gives out with them and in big bold black lettering says, medication may cause sudden cardiac arrest, well t'was a little concerning...

Constant learning for you I imagine, my wife was at a specialists office and his degree is hanging on the wall and it's dated 1964, I imagine a lot has changed over the course of that doctors career from start to now.

Stinkypup

I bloody hope that he is now retired!
I use electronic reference sources, not books- best one is genuinely called "Uptodate.com" invaluable even if it is Murican!

scrubbedexpat091

He is now....but was working up til end of 2015.

Oh yes, we have electronic stuff now to use...lol... I still see that big huge book, blue cover maybe. Thing is huge, just figured it was a sort of medical reference for quick look up.

Stinkypup

Thank God for that! Some doctors really don't know when to hang up their stethoscopes. I know that Oink might disagree but there is an awful lot of "plate spinning" with results, referrals recalls etc which you have to keep on top of or else someone's health might suffer big style

Stinkypup

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad."

"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."

Alan2005

Doctor: "Your wife is in hospital!"...
Man: "...How is she?"
Doctor: "I'm afraid she's critical".
Man: "Oh, you get used to that...".

selhurstpark

I agree. (Burlington, Ontario).

scrubbedexpat091

I agree.

My great uncle was a doctor and practiced longer then he should have, early 80's when he quietly retired due to inability to maintain his licence.



I was surprised to learn my pediatrician was still doctoring, although he wasn't nearly as old as my kid self thought he was back then. Must have been a fairly new doctor back then.

caretaker

When I had the consultation for my 2nd hernia operation the appointment was with the same surgeon who had performed the first one 5 years earlier, and I was surprised he was still alive, let alone practicing. I was relieved to learn that his role was just to approve it, and the surgery was done by a doctor less than half his age.