If you don't cheer up I'm going to telekinesis this pushchair into your sad green face.

You don't blend in with the grass, now F-off whilst i finish off this baby I got from that pram back there!

...Okay I admit, I'm too short to pull off the 'Jolly Green Giant' look - but mate, you have to agree, you look f**k all like a smurf.

....so Laurence, is this the only work you can get since that "Changing Rooms" gig dried up?

"Dry cleaners didn't offer airmiles?"

the work just dried up after the final lord of the rings.

"Accident with a can of blue paint... How about you?"

Is it just me, or are people looking at us funny today?

We should have done better research on the taking Of Pelham 1-2-3. Then we'd have realised Mr Green and Mr Blue were only character names and not actually painted those colours.

While we're on the subject, I'd love some suggestions for this one:
(taken last April in our back garden ....)

You still waiting for them Creme eggs to hatch

Bob Geldof REALLY didn't like Mondays

Buggs appreciated ALL kinds of breasts

"I told you SPF2 and topless sunbathing don't mix"

Man in Alberta sells unsuspecting immigrants bear protection outfits

I bought one off ebay for when we move. Hope it works as well as he said it will.