Being British :-)
Dec 2nd 2007 | 3:10 am
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 1,053
Being British :-)
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab
on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred
whilst throwing up into the toilet.
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab
on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred
whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Dec 2nd 2007 | 3:13 am
#2
Seasoned Maritimer
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,309
From: Fredericton, New Brunswick CA
Re: Being British :-)
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab
on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred
whilst throwing up into the toilet.
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab
on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred
whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Dec 2nd 2007 | 3:18 am
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,902
From: Southwestern Illinois, USA
Re: Being British :-)
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab
on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred
whilst throwing up into the toilet.
beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab
on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a
Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of all things foreign!
Only in Britain can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can
buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a
DIET coke.
Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.
Only in Britain do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
Only in Britain do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.
Only in Britain are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION..
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead
of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.
19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations
were chocolate.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after Xmas cracker-pulling accidents.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after trying
to open bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out-of-control Scalextric cars. and finally...
In 2000 eight Brits were admitted to hospital with fractured skulls incurred
whilst throwing up into the toilet.
Dec 2nd 2007 | 3:23 am
#4
Born again atheist
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 30,259
From: Europe (to be specified).
Dec 2nd 2007 | 3:24 am
#5
Seasoned Maritimer
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,309
From: Fredericton, New Brunswick CA
Dec 2nd 2007 | 4:01 am
#6
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,020
Re: Being British :-)
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=...G=Search&meta=
Oh, and snopes:
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/u...6;t=001165;p=1
Dec 2nd 2007 | 4:25 am
#7
Tea Drinker
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 5,387
From: Kamloops, BC
Re: Being British :-)
Well, it's almost certainly not true. This pile of garbage has been posted with "Brits" substituted for a whole bunch of other nationalities. E.g.
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=...G=Search&meta=
Oh, and snopes:
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/u...6;t=001165;p=1
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=...G=Search&meta=
Oh, and snopes:
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/u...6;t=001165;p=1
it's a joke, and jokes are not always true...
Dec 2nd 2007 | 4:32 am
#8
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,715
Re: Being British :-)
)A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she's staying home because she's not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming to work today."
Dec 2nd 2007 | 4:33 am
#9
Thread Starter
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 1,053
Re: Being British :-)
Yep, I was facebooked this, but do you know what, if it made some people smile then it was worth the time to copy it on here.
Something that never ceases to amaze me is the inherent nastiness and and utter superiority in some people. It must really suck to be them, or maybe cyber space is the only place they can vent their spleen....?
Anyway, glad some people found it fun, apologies if it doesn't meet the high standards of the less socially skilled BE users.
I am off for some snow fun.
Take care folks!
Mrs M x
Something that never ceases to amaze me is the inherent nastiness and and utter superiority in some people. It must really suck to be them, or maybe cyber space is the only place they can vent their spleen....?
Anyway, glad some people found it fun, apologies if it doesn't meet the high standards of the less socially skilled BE users.
I am off for some snow fun.
Take care folks!
Mrs M x
Dec 2nd 2007 | 4:54 am
#10
Born again atheist
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 30,259
From: Europe (to be specified).
Re: Being British :-)
Yep, I was facebooked this, but do you know what, if it made some people smile then it was worth the time to copy it on here.
Something that never ceases to amaze me is the inherent nastiness and and utter superiority in some people. It must really suck to be them, or maybe cyber space is the only place they can vent their spleen....?
Anyway, glad some people found it fun, apologies if it doesn't meet the high standards of the less socially skilled BE users.
I am off for some snow fun.
Take care folks!
Mrs M x
Something that never ceases to amaze me is the inherent nastiness and and utter superiority in some people. It must really suck to be them, or maybe cyber space is the only place they can vent their spleen....?
Anyway, glad some people found it fun, apologies if it doesn't meet the high standards of the less socially skilled BE users.
I am off for some snow fun.
Take care folks!
Mrs M x
Oh dear. I appear to be pissing no end of people off this weekend. My post was also meant as a joke Mrs M. I would have thought that was obvious?
Enjoy the snow!
On edit: Maybe she meant bazzz not me? Of course in that case, I couldn't agree more.
Last edited by Novocastrian; Dec 2nd 2007 at 5:09 am.
Dec 2nd 2007 | 4:57 am
#11
Born again atheist
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 30,259
From: Europe (to be specified).
Re: Being British :-)
Reminds me of a joke... (I hope Novo has heard this, many times, and that it gets on his tits. )
A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she's staying home because she's not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming to work today."
)A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she's staying home because she's not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks.
"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says.
"What the hell is anal glaucoma?"
"I can't see my ass coming to work today."
Dec 2nd 2007 | 5:09 am
#12
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,902
From: Southwestern Illinois, USA
Re: Being British :-)
Well, it's almost certainly not true. This pile of garbage has been posted with "Brits" substituted for a whole bunch of other nationalities. E.g.
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=...G=Search&meta=
Oh, and snopes:
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/u...6;t=001165;p=1
http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=...G=Search&meta=
Oh, and snopes:
http://msgboard.snopes.com/cgi-bin/u...6;t=001165;p=1
Dec 2nd 2007 | 5:12 am
#13
Banned
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 1,106
From: Beautiful BC
Re: Being British :-)
I've seen this before but with "Only in Canada" substituted. But it's still funny. Thanks Mrs M.
Dec 2nd 2007 | 5:27 am
#15
Born again atheist
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 30,259
From: Europe (to be specified).
