Originally Posted by fledermaus (Post 7181319)

I think very few people really miss us, if missing someone means a deep emotion. People get on with their lives, other things, people, activities, fill the spaces we vacated. For most friends and family left behind there has only been a small change in their lives.

Those of us who make the move have a huge adjustment and we miss the familiar, and that includes our friends. We miss them more than they miss us.

For those who really do miss us, well, we left them, abandoned them to come and live in another country. Our actions tell them that we can be happier without them, that what we have is better than what they have.

If you miss them, then write and tell them so, tell them why.

It is hard, but you have to move forwards, these friendships will change, it maybe for the better, maybe worse, but you have to accept the change.

Plus its January and everyone is miserable in the New Year.

Originally Posted by Coffeepot (Post 7181364)

"if i meant that much to you you wouldn't be leaving"

Originally Posted by CaptainHook (Post 7181382)

Who needs friends like that? Would they give up the chance to do something different just because you felt left out. Emotional blackmail, pure and simple.

Originally Posted by fledermaus (Post 7181391)

Do you think so? You could also see it as honesty, no sulking or moods, or trying to guess what people really think. They have said what they feel, if there's no qualifying "i'll just die without you" then it's not blackmail.

Originally Posted by CaptainHook (Post 7181402)

No, I still think it's an attempt to get people to change their mind. Or at least to make someone feel shamed.

Originally Posted by Morwenna (Post 7182494)

The telephone works quite well you know, even to the UK ... and it's not that expensive ... about 4c/min? Why not call them for a chat?

Originally Posted by pinkmcfarquhar (Post 7182534)

I completely understand where you are coming from.

One of my very close friends has never phoned me since I came here. Has written twice in 14 months. When I was home recently - she knew when I was arriving cos I had phoned her on her birthday the week before. No phone call, no visit so I went to see her after a week. As usual on the visit, her OH sat and watched telly the whole time and didn't say anything apart from hello.

The surprising thing - they are planning to come and stay in April!?!??? Hmmmm, wonder if they might phone first?

Ach, I've just got my cranky pants on.

Know how you feel though - it has really surprised me the people who have made the effort to keep in touch and those who haven't.

Originally Posted by bandit (Post 7179710)

Hey

Well, it's been the holiday's and the New year, and everyone has had load going on, but I've been feeling a bit miffed and left out...

I did get cards from nearly all my mates from the UK at Christmas however they were very short on conversation most of them, even though I wrote a whole heap to each of them about life here in Canada etc..

Anyway - some of my best mates haven't written for weeks, when I'd got used to at least weekly emails from them and I'm feeling a bit sad about it. I know it's a self indulgent post, but it's my reason for writing...

I guess also it's the new year, and I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself with my best mates not here. I've got some amazing friends here, but when you want to speak to those nearerst and dearest about personal things then you do miss those friends...!

I guess I'll crack out of it, I'm not sad just a bit miffed and feeling a tad lonesome.

Bxx

Originally Posted by Morwenna (Post 7182494)

The telephone works quite well you know, even to the UK ... and it's not that expensive ... about 4c/min? Why not call them for a chat?

Originally Posted by bandit (Post 7179710)

Hey

Well, it's been the holiday's and the New year, and everyone has had load going on, but I've been feeling a bit miffed and left out...

I did get cards from nearly all my mates from the UK at Christmas however they were very short on conversation most of them, even though I wrote a whole heap to each of them about life here in Canada etc..

Anyway - some of my best mates haven't written for weeks, when I'd got used to at least weekly emails from them and I'm feeling a bit sad about it. I know it's a self indulgent post, but it's my reason for writing...

I guess also it's the new year, and I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself with my best mates not here. I've got some amazing friends here, but when you want to speak to those nearerst and dearest about personal things then you do miss those friends...!

I guess I'll crack out of it, I'm not sad just a bit miffed and feeling a tad lonesome.

Bxx

Originally Posted by adele (Post 7183589)

Let me know if you want to meet up next weekend, and hopefully try and get some of the miffedness out of your system - I can imagine how you feel and can imagine it from their point of view too. I expect I'll be going through the same scenario in the coming weeks and months once the novelty of me moving has worn off.

Beer and a good chat sound like it might help? ;)

Hugs

Adele :)