Alberta_Rose

My son (who has never got into any serious sort of a fight that I know of) has just told me he thinks he maybe should carry a knife, and I'm not sure what to say about that except I don't think it's a good idea.

The background is he had a friend from school (they graduated 2 years ago) who according to my son has become more and more mentally unstable. For a while this guy moved into a house where my lad was living with some friends, but became more and more moody, culminating in him threatening to kill himself, at which point the other kids called police and EMS and had him taken away. He then left the house and went to live with his grandparents. Not sure where his parents are in all this ... don't think he has a "dad" anyway.

This guy apparently has become more and more threatening to my son, saying he hates him and has made threats to kill him. One the one hand my boy says he's just full of BS and he's not worried, but in the next breath he wonders if he shouldn't carry something "just in case".

What do you sensible people think ... especially those of you who are familiar with police etc .....

The4BellsLondon

hmm - defintely no knife, but maybe a word with the local police??

Oakvillian

Quite. So far as I can see, the only reason you'd carry a knife is if you have a serious intent to use it - otherwise it's an empty threat and will be seen as such very quickly. Intent to use a knife (which he'll have if he's carrying - see above) will not likely sit well with the law should the situation arise where using it is a reasonable option. I think Carrie has it right - a knife is the wrong answer, but a word with local plod and other agencies (is there a reasonable outreach service in your neck of the woods for mentally unstable youth?) would be better.

mandymoochops

I'd agree with the others - definately not a knife - if he feels the need to carry something can he not get a bear spray or something

Has he spoke to his friends about this guy, maybe they are going through the same thing - or have advice or something?????

gryphea

I'd say no knife; agree with teh others maybe a word with the police to ask their advice.

I'd also change the locks on the house.

I'd also say be careful. When I was lecturing in the UK we had a guy on our M.Sc course (usually around 20 students, we knew them well) completely flip. In the end he was repeatedly sectioned (he turned out to be a paranoid schizophrenic) ; but in the run up he was a little scarey to say the least. For my colleague it was immensely stressful and so give your son all the support he needs. Can he move back for a while?

Alberta_Rose

Thanks for the thoughts ... nothing really more than I was thinking, I guess.

I can't really see my son wielding a knife, even as an empty threat., but if he did pull one out it could well lead to a much worse situation in my opinion.

So I also suggested pepper spray; to which my son retorted (probably rightly) "Oh so a knife is a weapon and pepper spray isn't?". I just thought a spray might be potentially less lethal.

I guess what I think is avoidance is the best possible route, and he has in fact moved back in with us now and is planning to go back to school (Olds College) in January, so I feel he's on a good road. I'm delighted to say he's just started work this week as a veterinary assistant, and this is the course he's taking at Olds.

He met the guy out and about this week, and this is when he was threatened ... but he said the other boy was walking away from him as he said it, which is why he says he is full of BS. Hopefully they are both being melodramatic, but we'll take the advice of the police I think if it seems to be a real thing ....

caretaker

Pepper spray could earn him a weapons charge unless he's found with it out in the country...... even in serious bear country in town it could be considered a dangerous substance. Some kids have used it as the weapon in armed robberies here and face the extra time. Police, posties and animal control officers are allowed to carry it all the time but not the general population. Anything that can be used as a weapon can be taken away and used against you if you can't hang onto it so if he's going to carry anything he should become proficient with it. If he's really scared of his friend maybe a self defence course of some sort is indicated though it sounds like a case for psycho-pharmacology . I hope everything turns out well for all concerned.

Oink

Under no circumstances should he carry a knife. As Ovilley said, if you carry one the chances are it'll get used and then the outcome will be dire. The best form of self-defense is to to run away fast. Its not the macho in-vogue thing to do at that age but its the safest all round.

Simon Legree

I agree. Get out of the environment asap.

Alberta_Rose

Y'know... I don't think he's really got the least intention on carrying a knife, or any weapon. I think he just wanted me to know that this had happened and that he was worried about it.

I haven't had the chance to talk to him much since, but we'll try and establish if he really thinks this was a serious threat and not some kid mouthing off, and whether any of his friends are also concerned.

I have every expectation it'll come to nothing, but we could talk to the police I guess (though I don't know what they could do except maybe make things worse, especially if he's beyond reasonable thought) and we could also probably contact the boy's family and let them know he needs to up his meds!

Thank you all for your input.

rubberduckofdeath

Please do what you can to make sure he doesn't carry a knife. It's not unusual for people to carry a knife and for it to be used on them. As others have pointed out, it's best to steer clear of this (if it's possible), than you arm yourself with something which could end up destroying someone's life.

I don't know what police do with knives out here (other than the training that knife = gun), but in the UK we took a dim view when we found them or any other weapon.

At least he's talking to you about it which means you have a good opportunity to work with him.

Greenhill

After a little bit of research I found this:
http://www.crcvc.ca/docs/peacebonds.pdf. If the situation worsens, a peace bond could be something to consider?

Probably a good idea to log every "event" with a call to the local police, too.

Geordie Lass

I would say look out for a self defence class (Aikido is really good) and get him enrolled straight away.

I did Aikido years ago (had to stop because of an injury) but it's amazing - teaches you how to stop someone coming at you with a knife etc and any other weapon that this other guy might try and scare your son with. You need no strength to do it - only technique. Don't know much about any other martial arts but am sure there are loads out there that would do the same thing.

I agree with the others - your son getting a knife is unwise. What it does say is how scared he seems to be even thinking of it...

Alan2005

But they don't work in real life. A fried of mine did a self defence course and learnt several ways to stop an assailant with a knife. In the same course the instructor gave them each red markers and they then took it in turns attacking and defending themselves using the various taught methods. By the end they were all covered in red ink. The instructor then pretty much said the same as Oink - if somebody comes at you with a knife running away fast is the only sensible option.

Novocastrian

How about a point-ed stick? (Or a banana)?