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Lies Your Parents Told You

Lies Your Parents Told You

Old Sep 19th 2011, 8:49 pm
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Default Lies Your Parents Told You

When I was a little boy my parents bought me a present for Christmas and kept it in the dining room. But instead of just telling me not to go in there they told me that they had found woodworm in there and had treated it with poisonous gas and if I went in there all out dogs would die.

My sister found a purse once with over a hundred pounds in it and told my Nan all about it - she was looking after us. My Nan told her she would give it to the local policeman and he would find the person it belonged to. That day my Nan took all the money to the Co Op and spent it all on booze, fags and Turkish Delight but told my mother that she'd given it to the police.

My father told me that Liverpool would be great forever.
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 8:57 pm
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That I'd get on with my sister eventually.
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 8:59 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

My parents told me that all things come to those who wait.

I'm not sure how long I'm supposed to wait, but 45 years is long enough, don't you think?
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:20 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

One Christmas my parents bought me a travel alarm clock. Mum locked it and other gifts in the sideboard cupboard.

I could hear ticking coming from the cupboard...mum said it was death watch beetles. No wonder I am bug phobic.
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:26 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

That my underwear would be held up to strict inspection if I ever had a serious accident. I was led to believe that if I had dirty underwear I would be left to die and my mother would be paraded through the streets and have rotten fruit thrown at her.
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:30 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

One lie my parents didn't tell me was about the Easter Bunny. It was always a mythical creature like a unicorn or dragon, not the supernatural creature that Americans convince their children actually exists in the same way as Santa and the Tooth Fairy.
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:32 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

My parents told me the ice cream van had sold out of ice cream when the tune played
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:38 pm
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My parents told us that every single animal we ever had eventually went to go live on a farm in the country.
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:40 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

That I should let my brother get away with any sort of behaviour he wanted becasue i was the girl and had to put up with it.....
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:46 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

My mum told me that a watched pot never boils.

I WATCHED THE POT
OH YES
I WATCHED THAT POT

And. . .
IT BOILED!
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:46 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

Originally Posted by Trixie_b View Post
That I should let my brother get away with any sort of behaviour he wanted becasue i was the girl and had to put up with it.....
Did you tell your brother he's never old enough not to be put up for adoption?
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:48 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

Mom also told me thatPicking your nose would damage your brain and your finger would come out of your eye socket. This one scared me for quite a few years.
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:56 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

Originally Posted by Perthbum View Post
Mom also told me thatPicking your nose would damage your brain and your finger would come out of your eye socket. This one scared me for quite a few years.
My mother told me the brain one. She also told me that if you swallow chewing gum it will expand in your stomach and explode. Which was almost as frightening as being taught that eating apple pips will lead to a giant frikking oak tree growing inside me until my inevitable death.
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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:58 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

Originally Posted by Herpes Simplex View Post
My mother told me the brain one. She also told me that if you swallow chewing gum it will expand in your stomach and explode. Which was almost as frightening as being taught that eating apple pips will lead to a giant frikking oak tree growing inside me until my inevitable death.
Yeh, but that tree one was not a lie.

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Old Sep 19th 2011, 9:58 pm
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Default Re: Lies Your Parents Told You

In a strange twist my wife told my daughter that I would be the perfect parent to raise her while she went to work.



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