Wanderingstar

I have worked abroad before on two occasions but have come home after a year or so both times, for the last five years or so I have been applying for international jobs and at long last just had an interview for my first choice location. In the last week prior to my interview all I have thought about is leaving my elderly parents (late 60's and early 70's ) leaving my four year old nephew who's dad has recently walked out on him and leaving the beautiful area which I live in ( an area of the uk with outstanding natural beauty but socially dim ) I have thought about how I will miss all the outdoor activities I can partake in, in the long summer evenings and the community which I belong to.

Is it natural to feel like this before potentially leaving or is there another message for me in these feelings ?

I'd be interested to hear the views of those who have made the move

Sally Redux

Where are you moving to?

Looking back at your previous posts, you seem unsure as to what you are seeking.

MrsEgeland

I think everyone thinks about what they might miss when they go, I think it gets worse as you mature in years... I don't remember worrying about it when I was 19.

Lion in Winter

Without knowing you at all, it's almost impossible to say.

Yes, it's probably natural and doesn't necessarily mean you won't be happy in another country once you get there. But do weigh up the pros and cons of your decision very carefully and examine your gut feel with a microscope. Gut feel can very often be right. It's hard to settle in a new culture and if you are not going in wholeheartedly from the start, even more difficult. If you are only planning to go there for work for two or three years, it's not such a big deal. If you are thinking of a permanent move, that's another matter.

Gordon Barlow

First thing, Star: watch your language! "elderly"?? late 60s? Sheesh!
My wife and I are 73 and 74, respectively. Our only child has just turned 39, and we see him twice a year for two weeks at a time, him and his children. It's not nearly enough, and I am continually threatening to go over to Norway (from the Caribbean, where we live) and live cheek by jowl with him. However, we wouldn't cramp him like that. So the first question you have to answer for yourself is, what do your parents think of your going away?

My parents were very supportive of my plan to "leave home and see the world" (from Australia, when I was 23). My Dad died the next year and I flew home to help Mum cope, but she insisted that I go back to England and finish my "see the world" adventure. She flew to England for a visit the year after that (it was her first time out of her native country), but then we didn't see each other again for five more years - during which time I married in Canada.

It was like that for the rest of her life - and in case that seems to illustrate a cold relationship, I must tell you that she and I had a wonderfully warm relationship. We loved each other very, very much, and I miss her painfully still, these 15 years later. We exchanged weekly or twice-weekly letters for 36 years; we phoned each other as often as we could afford to; when email and Skype came along we used that. My son and I do the same, and have an equally warm relationship. We too love each other to bits. So your second question is, can you cope with life away from your parents?

If the answer to either of those two questions is NO, then forget it. Not everybody is adventurous enough in spirit to deal with the absences, or to make new friends away from home. Don't try to be a square peg in a round hole; it won't be worth the effort.