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Curse of the Expat

Curse of the Expat

Old Jun 11th 2012, 8:41 pm
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by morayeel View Post
I just moved back to to Scotland just over a month ago. I liked the US but the medical costs were an issue. Some people on here will bash me for coming back for the NHS. The few people I have spoken with, repairmen,sisters friends etc all say "why did you come back here"?
They think life in America is fantastic and no problems etc. Having been out the country for over 25 years I am feeling a little out of sorts. My daughter and her son want to move here. When I told the repairman about my grandson moving here he couldn't understand it. He was saying stuff like "theres nothing here for anyone etc etc etc. Made me feel like she shouldn't come with him. I guess I am missing them and anyway I know I am rambling. I just feel unsettled but maybe that is the curse of the expat? Some days I feel like getting on a plane and heading back and other days I feel settled.
You're bound to feel unsettled having been away for 25 years, I moved back to Scotland last year after only 4 1/2 years and a year later I still have off days (today was one) so you need to give yourself some time.
I have no doubts that I've done the right thing but hearing negative comments about how crap Scotland is from its inhabitants can be difficult to hear when you're struggling with the decisions you've made. Hang on in there I'm sure you'll feel better when your family get here.
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Old Jun 11th 2012, 9:05 pm
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

I've been back now for 8 years. I too have days of feeling unsettled. But it's relative isn't it? I too was away for a long time and used to wonder if life would be better back home. At least I don't have that particular feeling of being unsettled anymore.
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Old Jun 12th 2012, 2:10 am
  #63  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by Deb568 View Post
I've been back now for 8 years. I too have days of feeling unsettled. But it's relative isn't it? I too was away for a long time and used to wonder if life would be better back home. At least I don't have that particular feeling of being unsettled anymore.
I don't, never have, feel like I belong here. So I have to move back home. it may be a mistake, but it is one that I need to take a chance on. Otherwise, I would always be wondering, what if. I just feel more alive when I am in the UK.
So, I think I understand what you are saying.

In general terms are you happy with your decision to move back? We are moving to the Borders and plan to spend some time in Edinburgh, a city that I love.
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Old Jun 12th 2012, 11:28 am
  #64  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by lf1 View Post
I don't, never have, feel like I belong here. So I have to move back home. it may be a mistake, but it is one that I need to take a chance on. Otherwise, I would always be wondering, what if. I just feel more alive when I am in the UK.
So, I think I understand what you are saying.

In general terms are you happy with your decision to move back? We are moving to the Borders and plan to spend some time in Edinburgh, a city that I love.
Exactly that!
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Old Jun 12th 2012, 5:33 pm
  #65  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

[QUOTE=lf1;10113705]I don't, never have, feel like I belong here. So I have to move back home. it may be a mistake, but it is one that I need to take a chance on. Otherwise, I would always be wondering, what if. I just feel more alive when I am in the UK.
So, I think I understand what you are saying.

Happiness is more important.
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Old Jun 12th 2012, 10:10 pm
  #66  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by morayeel View Post
All the replies made me feel much better with decision. My brother also told me that all the doom and gloom people have never LIVED in the US. If you have a great job and lots of money the US can be a great place to live, but things are tough over there for the "working poor". I love not having to own a car! Of course a car would be nice but I can walk just about everywhere and the bus and train station are a few minutes walk. I saw a nursery nurse job advertised and have applied, the interview isn't until June 26th but hoping I get hired as it would be ideal. I have an interview this Tuesday for Aldi, not my ideal job but if I get it, great. I have put out several cvs and registered with the job center last week so I think I will find employment soon. I found a NHS dentist and registered with the doctor. I had enough money to pay rent and am in a flat central to everything. My sister lives close by. I went down on the bus to Dunoon last week to spend some time with my parents so as long as I can secure employment soon I should be fine. Thankyou for all the positve responses My daughter has her UK passport and is now in the process of applying for one for her son.
Hi.
I moved to Texas from kent in Jan 2012. Got married March to my American fiance. Now feeling some days like Ive made the biggest mistake ever!!
I keep comparing Uk to USA which I know is stupid. My friend came over a month ago and I longed to get on that plane with her back to the UK.
I have always worked and always earnt myown money.Now, I,m relying on my husband for everything, which, in itself is causing me problems. Its tough for him too, having a mood changing female living in the house, I have noticed that they arent as sensitive to feelings as we Brits are, so, he tends to leave me to sort out myself, which makes matters worse in a way. So, I given myself a kick up the back-side, have applied for Voluntary work locally, made myself get in the car and drive on those scary freeways. Got a German Shepherd puppy, and I,m trying to crawl out of this mire and give it a go!!!
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Old Jun 13th 2012, 12:41 am
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by rochester jane View Post
Hi.
I moved to Texas from kent in Jan 2012. Got married March to my American fiance. Now feeling some days like Ive made the biggest mistake ever!!
I keep comparing Uk to USA which I know is stupid. My friend came over a month ago and I longed to get on that plane with her back to the UK.
I have always worked and always earnt myown money.Now, I,m relying on my husband for everything, which, in itself is causing me problems. Its tough for him too, having a mood changing female living in the house, I have noticed that they arent as sensitive to feelings as we Brits are, so, he tends to leave me to sort out myself, which makes matters worse in a way. So, I given myself a kick up the back-side, have applied for Voluntary work locally, made myself get in the car and drive on those scary freeways. Got a German Shepherd puppy, and I,m trying to crawl out of this mire and give it a go!!!
Good Luck to you-its a big change getting married, never mind moving to a new country as well. It will be ok-give it time.
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Old Jun 13th 2012, 8:06 am
  #68  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

when I moved to the us years ago, newly married with a young child it was very difficult Each time me and my husband argued I would say" I want to go home"! after 25 years I am home!! I grew to like America though, but always missed Scotland. I am settling in more, finding a job is tough though. So the problem is I know if my daughter and grandson cant come I will go back to the States as I got my citizenship before I left. There don't seem to be many jobs in her field as a lab tech or I should say any jobs so the question bascially comes down to life in scotland with a low wage job struggling but with medical care which is a godsend, or life in america with a full time job but maybe no medical coverage. Each of us have chronic health conditions. At least we have choices so are fortunate to have that. In order to recieve any assistance as far as benefits go I have to pass the habitual residence test. I understand that because why should people who have been out of the country for long periods qualify for benefits. I came back with enough money to make it for 5 or 6 months so will have to wait and see if I can secure employment. Good luck to you in the States. It took me about a year to get used to living there.
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Old Jun 13th 2012, 6:47 pm
  #69  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Here in Tenerife I deal with a lot of holiday makers in my job and I always get asked ´would I go back to the UK?´and when I reply ´yes just working on the OH´ I always get the comment that ´must be mad´or it´s a s&"t hole´ etc.

But when I start to explain that Spain/Canarys have a 35% uneployment rate and when and only you get unemployment assistance from the government it´s for 2 years maximum and only if you are fortunate to have had a full employment contract (as most contracts are 8/10 hrs a week). And the paro (dole) is worked out on a percentage of your last wage which if you were working full time but if you only had a 20hrs contract (for example) you don´t get much or nothing at all!

I am having to compete for job with others that speak several languages and at the moment my job is commission only and now is a very quiet time of the year before Summer!

The health care system again is based on contributions so If you have not had any for more than 6 months you don´t get access to health care (I believe)!

So they soon shut up and reply that they don´t actually have it too bad on the UK!!!

So why am I not on a plane back to the UK. Well my OH wants to stay but we have no kids and no other ties (only been together 5 yrs), so I have to make a decision or give an ultimatum. We were due to have gone back in November but things changed.
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Old Jun 14th 2012, 12:05 am
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

I don't, never have, feel like I belong here. So I have to move back home. it may be a mistake, but it is one that I need to take a chance on. Otherwise, I would always be wondering, what if. I just feel more alive when I am in the UK.
So, I think I understand what you are saying.
Very well put.... I guess you have to follow your heart?
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Old Jun 14th 2012, 12:26 am
  #71  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by rochester jane View Post
Hi.
I moved to Texas from kent in Jan 2012. Got married March to my American fiance. Now feeling some days like Ive made the biggest mistake ever!!
I keep comparing Uk to USA which I know is stupid. My friend came over a month ago and I longed to get on that plane with her back to the UK.
I have always worked and always earnt myown money.Now, I,m relying on my husband for everything, which, in itself is causing me problems. Its tough for him too, having a mood changing female living in the house, I have noticed that they arent as sensitive to feelings as we Brits are, so, he tends to leave me to sort out myself, which makes matters worse in a way. So, I given myself a kick up the back-side, have applied for Voluntary work locally, made myself get in the car and drive on those scary freeways. Got a German Shepherd puppy, and I,m trying to crawl out of this mire and give it a go!!!
Good on you for doing something positive and I hope you feel more settled in time but you will have up and down days. I am excited about going back home next month. Been in NZ just over 5 years and I have had one hellava roller coaster of emotions since coming here. Long story short, home is where my heart lies and it aint in NZ anymore! Hang in there, give it a go and if it doesn't get better in time then you will have to make a decision whether to stay or go. It is hard when friends come to visit and you are envious of them going back home. I know that feeling well. Good luck
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Old Jun 14th 2012, 12:56 am
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by shelley748 View Post
Good Luck to you-its a big change getting married, never mind moving to a new country as well. It will be ok-give it time.
Thanks, I,m " hanging in there" as they say!!!!!
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Old Jun 23rd 2012, 7:31 am
  #73  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl View Post
If I'm asked why I would like to return to the UK I always say...'because it's home and the US will never be my home.' I don't normally get much of a response to that.
I say that too, about returning after eight years in Spain. I enjoyed my time in Spain, but it was never home, it was somewhere where I was living for a while, like an eight-year-long gap year.

People think it is all sun, sea and sangria, they never think about the potential pitfalls, like having to conduct important business in a foreign language (in fact they think everyone speaks English, because they do int he holiday resorts). They assume you can just hop over to the UK for medical reatment (no), that you can keep UK tax and insurance on your car (no), that you don't have to pay any tax (I wish) and that it is easier somehow to get a job there (with 40% unemployment).

Anyway, we're back now and whilst we enjoyed our time in Spain and are glad we went, we don't regret our decision to return at all.

And we managed to sell our house!!
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Old Jun 24th 2012, 5:29 pm
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by lf1 View Post
I don't, never have, feel like I belong here. So I have to move back home. it may be a mistake, but it is one that I need to take a chance on. Otherwise, I would always be wondering, what if. I just feel more alive when I am in the UK.
So, I think I understand what you are saying.

In general terms are you happy with your decision to move back? We are moving to the Borders and plan to spend some time in Edinburgh, a city that I love.
Wow when I return from Toronto, eventually we are heading to the Borders and spend lots of time in my hometown of Edinburgh, a city that I love!
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Old Jun 24th 2012, 6:31 pm
  #75  
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Default Re: Curse of the Expat

Originally Posted by dollface View Post
Wow when I return from Toronto, eventually we are heading to the Borders and spend lots of time in my hometown of Edinburgh, a city that I love!
We are going to the Borders too. Like you, I just love Edinburgh.
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