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How to Become a footballing Agent?

How to Become a footballing Agent?

Old Oct 14th 2005, 5:58 pm
  #31  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Dear MyHarris,
I'm a 41 year old unemployed Brummie who loves to play football every Sunday. I'm about 20 lbs overweight however since I have lots of time on my hands I've decided to give it one last try to make it as a pro soccer player. I'm drawing my inspiration from Teddy Sheringham who is nearly my age. Do you want to be my agent? If you are interested I play in a park here in LA every Sunday with a bunch of old farts. I'll be needing a cash advance to start my fitness program.............. oh and I refuse to play for the Villa, no matter how much they want me.
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Old Oct 14th 2005, 8:03 pm
  #32  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Manc
That never crossed the line and you know it.
regards
Uwe.


English goal, German objection, Russian linesman


"Remember Stalingrad"
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Old Oct 14th 2005, 8:05 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by lionheart
.............. oh and I refuse to play for the Villa
The Pancho "Villa" ???
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Old Oct 14th 2005, 11:17 pm
  #34  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Myharris
I've taken players to Leeds, Portsmouth, Wigam amongst others, coudn't really negogiate because I didn't have a licence and the agent I was working with tried to close me outta a deal.
I would love to here the agents side of this story.

"Yeah, I took a couple of liberian kids over to Elland road, Fratton park and wherever "Wigam' play. I was almost at the point of agreeing aprentice terms with leeds when this *****ing idiot they brought with them started asking the Leeds chairman if he could borrow a few quid to get his F.I.F.A licence through the English F.A. 'cos he was skint.

Then at Fratton Park he started telling them he was a liberian football agent and knew very much about the british game, how he knew all about the back handers in transfers deals, agents percentages and exactly how to make a transfer go through as smoothly as possible. Unfortunately, he was in the wrong room talking to the canteen staff and the guy that cuts the grass.

We drove all the way up to "Wigam" on the day of our appointment only to be told by WigaN that they'd never heard of us. Turns out he read the letter all wrong and we should've been 4 hours further south in ****in "Wycombe".


I didn't think F.I.F.A or the F.A "licenced' football agents, but I could be wrong
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:25 am
  #35  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by rushman
I would love to here the agents side of this story.

"Yeah, I took a couple of liberian kids over to Elland road, Fratton park and wherever "Wigam' play. I was almost at the point of agreeing aprentice terms with leeds when this *****ing idiot they brought with them started asking the Leeds chairman if he could borrow a few quid to get his F.I.F.A licence through the English F.A. 'cos he was skint.

Then at Fratton Park he started telling them he was a liberian football agent and knew very much about the british game, how he knew all about the back handers in transfers deals, agents percentages and exactly how to make a transfer go through as smoothly as possible. Unfortunately, he was in the wrong room talking to the canteen staff and the guy that cuts the grass.

We drove all the way up to "Wigam" on the day of our appointment only to be told by WigaN that they'd never heard of us. Turns out he read the letter all wrong and we should've been 4 hours further south in ****in "Wycombe".


I didn't think F.I.F.A or the F.A "licenced' football agents, but I could be wrong
You're Wrong! So shut the fuc*k up and get over it...
I think you're a loner... look at yourself sitting sending hundreds of posts.... get a life Biatch..
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:34 am
  #36  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Myharris
I think you're a loner...
says the man seeking career advice on a message board.
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:35 am
  #37  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Manc
says the man seeking career advice on a message board.
I thought you were a Moderator.. or you a dickrider?
Get off Rushman Dick
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:40 am
  #38  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

charming.

can't understand why your dreams are in tatters and you're still a whopper flopper.
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:47 am
  #39  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Myharris
You're Wrong! So shut the fuc*k up and get over it...
I think you're a loner... look at yourself sitting sending hundreds of posts.... get a life Biatch..

I can clearly see why you want to be a football agent. Your people skills are impecable (that means pretty good). You have a distinct knack for negotiation and I can visualise you in action in a premiership club board room negotiating a transfer.


"You only want to pay $ 20 million for my player??? You fat chairman f*uck, you sit there in your oak panelled boardroom behind mahogany desk, smoking top quality cuban cigars, drinking a Dom Perignon '54, earning a seven figure salary, probably cheating on your beautiful trophy wife with sexy supermodels and high price prostitutes, wearing a $5000 Armani suit, gold ring on finger with diamond the size of Belgium, solid gold Cartier watch and driving big fast McLaren Mercedes.......................................... ..I think you're a loser!!!""

You're really going "wow' em in your 70's style navy blue track suit with a 3rd class british rail ticket in your pocket!!

Good luck son
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:48 am
  #40  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Manc
charming.

can't understand why your dreams are in tatters and you're still a whopper flopper.
Stop hating...
YOu got noway out, no dreams thats why you on your eleven thousand post..
I refused to be suck into your world...
Good bye..
look at yourself....
GET A LIFE MATE...
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:49 am
  #41  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Myharris
Stop hating...
YOu got noway out, no dreams thats why you on your eleven thousand post..
I refused to be suck into your world...
Good bye..
look at yourself....
GET A LIFE MATE...
I'll take the fillet of fish and a large coke.
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:49 am
  #42  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Myharris
I thought you were a Moderator.. or you a dickrider?
Get off Rushman Dick
I think he's treating you with a lot more moderation than I would..dicksplash!!
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:50 am
  #43  
 
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Myharris
Stop hating...
YOu got noway out, no dreams thats why you on your eleven thousand post..
I refused to be suck into your world...
Good bye..
look at yourself....
GET A LIFE MATE...
Have you got a sheepskin coat?
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:52 am
  #44  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by Myharris
Stop hating...
YOu got noway out, no dreams thats why you on your eleven thousand post..
I refused to be suck into your world...
Good bye..
look at yourself....
GET A LIFE MATE...

We dont hate you..we LOVE you. Please come back I haven't laughed this much in ages and I laugh CONSTANTLY!!

You refuse to get suck(ed) into our world huh? That would be the world of "Reality" then would it?
We need to get a life. You just came to the US from Europe, got a green card and are asking us for help to get you a job back in Europe!! Whats all that about??
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Old Oct 15th 2005, 2:55 am
  #45  
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Default Re: How to Become a footballing Agent?

Originally Posted by rushman
You refuse to get suck(ed) into our world huh? That would be the world of "Reality" then would it?
I've got a mortgage, 2 kids and a 2000 Nissan

I feel such a failure........
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