malcesine99

Hi. New to site. Did join in the summer but not been on since! Lived in Italy
almost 10 years ago for just over a year but I felt very isolated (had my first child there) and returned to Scotland. (with my Italian OH who I married this summer!). We visit family in Italy frequently and over the years I find myself toying with the idea of returning. My hugely understanding DH I know would return in a second but needs me to be 100% sure we are making right move. This site is great and just reading some of the posts makes me think that I may not be quite so alone this time round.

Lorna at Vicenza

Hi,

well you certainly wouldn't be alone in this little cyber world of ours. It's a great place to get info, have a little moan, have a big rant, share some news or just have a drink and a chat in Happy Hour.

Where did you live in Italy before?

malcesine99

Cheers that sounds just lovely. Lived in Villafranca, would be moving back to Alpo just outside Verona if we take the plunge.

Lorna at Vicenza

So what would be your main reaons for moving back here then - if that's not too nosey.
Plenty of us are happy here but jobs are tight. That could depend on what your OH does though. You'll want to be near schools as well I presume.

Anyway - you can always try it again and if you like it great - and if you don't - it doesn't have to mean forever and forever.

It's got to be tempting just for the summer weather

malcesine99

After 9 scottish "summers" the weather is definitely on my Reason to Move List! Job wise DH a chef and has few contacts, I pose more of a problem as my Italian is def not up to scratch, have thought of the usual teaching english route have looked at TEFL courses here, but know thats not altogether straight forward. M in law is primary school teacher in Verona so got a bit of an insight into education system, we seem to be slightly ahead here so would hope that the kids could make the transistion without causing too much upset on their schooling.

I am naturally a bubbly outgoing person and make friends really easily but when in Italy I struggle with DH friends partners. After the initial pleasantries I tend to become invisible as I cannot keep up with conversation. I know I could overcome this by actually learning the language but I worry that I would not have the same friendships as I have here.

All in all we have got some serious thinking to do. Any advice is always welcome.

Lorna at Vicenza

Language does make having friends easier - but in some respects so does having kids as you'll bump into the same mums over and over again. When the kids make good friends they'll be getting invited to birthday parties and you can organise a meet up in the park or ice cream parlour etc.

Having said that, there's something about a lot of Italian women that is different to us - or are we different to them - lol. I have more male friends than girls. When I was younger the girls were just too bloody silly, prissy, prudish or fashion Gods. We are more matter of fact about lots of things and most of us seem to molly coddle our kids a lot less. Sense of humour is different too but you can make good friends here.

Get a car and I'll meet you half way up the motorway sometimes. I'm about an hour from Verona.

malcesine99

Thanks for the kind offer. Will remember that!

As you say we are on different level to Italian women. Not that I think we are superior (!) just alot more realistic. Everyone in Italy thinks I am a really laid back mum ( I am just as hysterical as most mums I know only I can be quietly hysterical if thats makes sense) as I am not constantly on my childrens back telling them to "be careful" or "come here" and horror of horrors allow them to stay outside between 12 and 3 on a blistering hot summer day!

How long have you stayed there? I have been to Vicenza, lots of lovely shops if I can remember. Did it take you a long time to settle?

Lorna at Vicenza

How long you ask. A bloody long time. Nearly 20 years now and yeah - I had my moments of sheer hell in the beginning.

duffer

Scotland is probably one of the worst places to live. That's why there's so many Scots in England but believe me you don't want to move to Italy. Stick to coming here on holiday only. But then I heard that 90% of Scottish people are mad - I don't know if it's true or not - so you might actually prefer the pleasant weather, good wholesome food, civilized culture and scenery 24/7.

indiebird

It's good that your MIL is a primary school teacher. Personally, knowing what I know now, I would think very hard about the school you plan to send your children to. There are really big cultural differences and totally huge differences in what teachers expect and how they relate to children here and what their expectations of parents are.

37100

Duffer, why don't you move to the u.k. I'm not being sarcastic etc. It's a genuine q. Is it just for love of the wife?

duffer

It's a good question. To go back to the UK I would first have to get divorced and take Brando with me as he's the love of my life after LFC.

But I'm a family man now and this strange notion of sticking together trew tick n tin (said in a dodgy Liverpool accent) is growing on me. I'm learning to overcome my negative feelings about Italy and trying to focus on building a safe, happy and loving environment for Brando - whether it's in London or Vicenza is going to be secondary, what's important is that we're one happy family. I'm trying.

duffer

Anyone know how you get a quickie divorce in Italy?

indiebird

Hear hear!!!

Lorna at Vicenza

No such thing