daniel_t

I've been contemplating leaving Italy for good lately - does anybody here know of people who have experienced reverse cultural shock after moving back to the UK?

philat98

What is your motivation for moving back? There is another part of the forum that deals with this subject.

Geordieborn

We moved back over 4 years ago and are still finding both positive and negative impacts. Okay they perhaps blur with everyday life , getting older and things like covid and Brexit. We also did not leave Italy because we did not like the place, there were many reasons, but that was most certainly not one of them. Main thing is we looked on the UK in a very different (more positive) light, probably up to a year or so back. Since then some of the original reasons (negative UK things) for moving to Italy have resurfaced. Like I've said this may just be everyday life ups and downs and hopefully it ends up more "ups"! We still have absolutely no regrets about Italy as it was such a beautiful time.

C.2s

I'm also exploring this idea at the moment, but probably going to opt for splitting the time 50/50 between the UK and here. Technically the UK would be our main residence (we don't have a home there at present), and our Italian place would become a holiday home. But in a way it is 'moving back'.

I've read quite a lot about the reverse culture shock thing. But then I read quite a lot about the 'culture shock' of moving to Italy before I came here. I thought I was prepared. Maybe I was as prepared as possible? But still there were things that were specific to me that I hadn't read other people talking about. And so it's entirely reasonable to assume there will be things that I haven't considered now that I will find a 'shock' when/if we move back to the UK.

Some Italian friends asked me what I had learned from moving to Italy. I think that they wanted me to say something like I learned about which wine to drink, or what is 'real' pizza. But I said that I think that I have learned to question why people do the things that they do (because a lot of Italian things seem quite illogical from the viewpoint of a forestiero) , and that this also applied to the things people do in the UK...so I have become more critical (not necessarily in a negative way). And so I think that going back to the UK I will probably question things that everyone else takes for granted... because I now have a different perspective. I think that I will always feel like an outsider because I have I have had this different experience. Maybe that's part of the 'reverse culture shock ' that people talk about.

As Philat suggested it's worth looking at the specific part of this forum. Click on 'Home' and scroll down to the 'Moving Back or To the UK ' section.

One thing that I read in that forum was someone talking about whether 'moving back' is a "failure". They said that for most people they think of "I'm moving/living in another country" as part of their identity (whether they consider themselves an "expat" or not), and if they give up on living abroad they lose part of how they see themselves. That's another thing to think about if you are considering going 'home'. Especially if they move back to a place where people know them and they think those people will judge them.

daniel_t

@philat98
When I decided to move to Italy, all I was thinking about was my career, and I didn't factor in other things like whether I wanted to live in Italy. In hindsight, this was my grave error.

I've somehow managed to stay here for a decade, but it's time to have another look at my life and I figured out I wouldn't want to be wasting it in Italy beyond the age of 35. I'm turning 35 this year. I can perhaps give Italy another year or two, now that 40 is the new 30

@Geordieborn
You're right - the ups and downs. I was surprised by how messy things have become in the UK. I guess nowhere is perfect.

I have to admit my private life in Italy has always left a lot to be desired, but there used to more 'ups' at work. Now that a lot of colleagues from English-speaking countries have left, I'm surrounded by mostly Italians at work. Don't get me wrong, I'm not discriminating people against their nationality, but I feel quite lonely culture-wise and there is something about the Italian-style workplace that I'm not so happy with.

@C.2s
50/50 sounds good - and I think you can get the best of both worlds. I share very similar views with you towards certain things in Italy. At first, I thought it was down to cultural differences, but I've come to realise that certain things here are just plain worse compared to the UK.

I sometimes enjoy being the outsider and looking at things from a different perspective. Cheers for the heads-up, I personally see moving back as a kind of homecoming. That's probably something to do with the reason why I moved to Italy in the first place. It was all about my career and I didn't move abroad for the sake of this experience.

Cheers for pointing me to the 'Moving back or to the UK' section in this forum!

philat98

35 years old is OK but once you get to 50 a lot of companies want to kick you out. I wonder if the work environment is much better in the UK? Most people in the office I last worked did long hours(45-50hours per week). The only thing to do in the evening was have dinner and go to bed.

Geordieborn

Ha! But for the OP, why worry, at 35 you could still move back and forwards several more times.... things like Brexit and/or WWIII permitting...

nicktonight

I don't see why you should suffer from cultural shock. Just before Covid I went back to the UK (Canterbury) for about 7 months (over 2 years) and thought about moving back permanently. I loved my home town which had changed immeasurably for the better (remainer Labour MP, fantastic new train line to London, new theatre, much better night life in town, warmer weather though seeing frost again was great) whereas here in Sicily things just get worse and worse. There was no shock though. I just weighed up the pros and cons and decided to come back to Palermo for the reasons I originally decided to come here. Cheap rents for very large spaces, cheap good food, the sea, the wild interior and mountains for those who like trekking and the large number of extraordinary sites to visit and enjoy.

daniel_t

Cheers nicktonight. Good to hear about Canterbury. Manchester has changed for the better too, although there seem to be more homeless people these days.
I must remind myself - the grass is always greener on the other side.
If the UK bounces back from the post-Brexit transition, which I'm sure our great country will, I'm definitely going to move back and settle down.

Finknottle