durobird

I arrived to live in the Avellino area just 5 weeks ago.
My happiness was complete,as my 17 year old cat,Misty, made the flight with me.
However I knew she already had Kidney problems,and possibly not a long time left.
I started to hunt for Pet cremation possibilities near Naples,for the future, just as I knew I wouldnt be able to cope with doing that whenever the time did come.
Eventually I found one. If anybody needs the details,please ask me.A bit more expensive than the UK,but the only place that actually accepts pets.

I also found the most wonderful lady Vet in Monteforte. She gave her time and more to my Misty. Again, anybody after a brilliant Vet,please ask me.

Sadly last Saturday 22nd Nov, my Misty had to be put to sleep.
The Vet came to our home to do this final act, and she cried afterwards nearly as much as me.

We decided not to cremate her after all,but buried her in my boyfriends family home in Praiano,in a small garden,facing the sea, on Sunday.
When we buy our own house and garden here,we are going to take her there.

I am now in the midst of such pain. I cannot bear the days without her,and feel so much guilt at making that final decision, and holding her whilst it was done.
I know it was the kindest thing to do....but how do you live with wondering if she had any longer left?
The Vet agreed it was time,and I know this is just my grief talking. But to not be able to hold my little furry friend again is unbearable.

Plus being in a new country with no family or friends around, and everything so different, doesn't help.

Sorry for this sad topic, but if anybody has any advice or even just a word of comfort, I really need it.

Lorna at Vicenza

I'm going to be very blunt here but not because I am cruel or unfeeling but sometimes a bit of straight-talking helps.

Your cat was ill. The vet said so too. Even if you had held on a bit longer - how would it have been for the cat ?
You made a hard decision but the best one for Misty. You found an excellent and understanding vet. You did everything you could. There was no other choice.

If it might make you feel better after a day or two then go straight out and get yourself a little kitten. There are thousands of unwanted ones around that would love a good home like yours.

It's sad I know and this is a really old clichè - but time does heal.

TestaRossa

Have had 7 cats over the years, 2 which had to be put to sleep. One was particularly painful for me. Best advice I can give is replace poor Misty as soon as you can! It really helps, one other piece of advice, two cats are better than one! Also don't think you should look for a cat completely different to Misty. One thing I discovered over the years is that specific colour cat's all have similar personalities! So all B&W cats are similar (to me) as are all white ones. I had a tortie and it just wasn't the same!! And if you don't feel ready for this yet start leaving some food out for the strays so you are still involved with all things cats. You never know you might find a new friend this way! HTH

durobird

When I arrived in Monteforte,I went for a walk. Just a few hundred yards from here is an old ruined villa.
A lovely Italian lady was there,feeding about 18 stray, feral cats.
We stopped and chatted to her.

I have begun going to meet her there each day,to watch her with the cats,and speak out broken English/Italian. She had met my Misty and was so sorry about me losing her
The villa is being demolished soon,and she doesnt know where to move/entice the cats to go,so she can continue feeding them.

I find it hard to go,simply as it's so hard to come back to the empty flat.
I dont feel ready for another pet,especially whilst we aren't settled and hoping to buy a new house.

But I will follow your advice and continue visiting the strays when I can.

TestaRossa

It's a start, and the right way to go for sure! I can understand you not wanting to replace Misty if you are in the midst of a move. You will be surprised how quickly you will start to want to though - if you are like me anyway! I know Misty was with you a long time and her memory will always be precious to you, but I still found the anticipation of a new kitten exciting or even a slightly older cat. Why not "adopt" one of the strays? Not to bring it back but one that you want to feed and look after - this at least will give you something to look forward to even when you are on your own at home. One thing I would say though if you are not going to replace her just yet, it will be easier to adjust to her not being around if you put all her things away - really.

duffer

I hate cats.

durobird

Duffer may you never have to go through grief of any kind.
If you dont have anything to say to help a fellow human being,its best to say nothing.
I have done nothing to hurt you,I dont even know you,so please refrain from trying to add to my sorow.
I saw a new reply,and hoped for some help...not the unkindness you just showed.

duffer

Yeah I'm sorry

giuliana

Dear Durobird,
First of all I'm so sorry for your Misty. I have just had to do the same thing with my dog. I admire you that you had the courage to stay with her up to the end. I didn't have this courage and not a day goes by where I regret this.In her moment of need I wasn't there. I let her down. You didn't let Misty down you were her loyal friend till the end

durobird

Dear Giuliana
Everybody is different. When my 19 year old dog died,4 years ago,I was there at the end with her too.
The pain was intense,and I swore that I wouldn't do it again. But with Misty,once again I had to hold her,for her and for me.
But dont regret your choice. If at the time you couldn't do it, then I believe that it is how it should be.
My boyfriend wanted to hold her and save me doing it. But my gut instinct was to hold her.
Yours wasnt and THAT WAS RIGHT FOR YOU THEN.
Maybe your dog would have sensed your grief and the way you chose was better.
Who's to say which is right? We both know that afterwards,whichever way we chose,there are regrets.
I regret feeling her take the injection, you regret not being there.
Neither way is best,and neither way is easy.
God bless you,and I hope we can both find peace from their memories.xx

giuliana

Thanks Durobird,
Maybe you are right. I have got another 3 dogs and they have helped me over this difficult time. Maybe you should get another pet not as a substitute for Misty, she will always be alive in your heart as my dog is in mine but to help you at this time.

irish girl in italy

Sorry your are hurting so much at the moment Durobird check this website there is a section on loosing your pet.

www.catsofaustralia.com

maybe it can give you some help.

wanabethere

Durobird, I am really sorry to hear that you lost Misty and I know that at the moment your pain is very intense but believe me in the near future the happy memories will start to come back. You must have been a fantastic pet owner to have her last so long when she was so ill. I hope you realize what a wonderful life you have given Misty. It is important that you grieve for Misty now . I think we grieve as much as we love. I hope that things get easier for you soon. Are you hoping to get a house in the same area as she is buried ?

wanabethere

Sorry I pressed the wrong quote button.

durobird

Once again,thanks to all of you who took the time to send me your thoughts.
It helped a lot,as I am sure you will understand.
In answer to one question,we hope to buy a house in the commune of Avellino.
Roberto works in Naples,so we have to be fairly close by.
We will take Misty there when we have our own garden to bury her in.
For now,the garden at his shared family home in Praiano is beautiful,and I can visit her occcasionally.
Today I am in Naples,with Roberto, whilst he does some work this morning.
Then after some lunch, he is going to show me around.
Anything to try and take my mind off of Misty for a short while,and get me out of the flat for the day.
Thanks again for the support from you all xxx