I moved here a couple of weeks ago and haven't had time to meet anyone except my colleagues (all two of them) from school. Also, I went to an expats thing and it was more full of Italian people wanting to practise their English than people with enough fluency to get my HILARIOUS midget/horse jokes.

So yeah, would be ace to converse with people rather than my cactus plant for a change

Oh and I'm 27, female, Briddish, lazy, hungry, like rock music, have a cactus that's a total git etc.

Hi,

I've been here a month and I need someone to alleviate my boredom too!! I am half italian and so have family here but am in dire need of a good english chat over a cup of tea/enormous ice cream/big glass of wine and as much as I love my Grandparents if I keep going to cinema with my Gran im going to go mad.

I'm also British, 24, had a cactus once when I was about 12 but managed to kill it....it's a touchy subject

If you are both in Rome look up Pink Italy - small forum run by a Brit in Rome, Clare, they do regular meet-ups, mainly for drinks etc. All 20 somethings, sounds ideal!

Christina, I know just the place for gratuitously oversized icecreams - they also do sort of semi-frozen mousse in various lardy flavours. Wine is also a plan made of solid gold. If you like, just PM whenever you're free and we can gorge ourselves silly on these things . I live near Cipro so am in quite a handy position for commuting to wine-emporia on the A-Line metro

(PS. My Nan, aged 86, exclusively likes racy crime thrillers film-wise. I hope yours has better taste)

And as for the pink thing, have just signed up. Nice one, thanks lots for that

Hello Christina and welcome to this forum. I hope you get to meet up with some of our friendly members and when you do - have a drink for me too

I'm in Rome too but I work full time and have a toddler at home so life is pretty busy. But if you'd like to come to my area for a gelato on the weekend my 2 year old and I would be up for it.

This pink club sounds interesting. I'm sure you can easily frig the boredom out of each other there. Can I bring my camcorder?

Midget horse joke -

This guy who owns a horse farm gets a call from a friend.

The friend says, "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, and I'm sending him over."

The midget arrives, and the owner asks him if he wants a male or female horse.

"A female horth," the midget replies. So the owner shows him one.

"Nith looking horth. Can I see her mouf?"

So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's teeth.

"Nith mouf, can I see her eyeth?"

So the owner picks up the midget and shows him her eyes.

"OK, what about the earsth?"

Now the owners is beginning to get a little pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows him her ears.

"Okay, finally, I would like to see her twat."

With that, the owner loses all patience, picks up the midget, and shoves his head up the horse's twat, then pulls him out.

Shaking his wet head, the midget says, "Perhapth I should rephrase that. I would like to thee the horth run."

Mine is much more simple:

How do you sell a midget a horse?
Bend down real low and say 'would you like to buy a horse'

More of a visual gag but works

which is more PC? midget or dwarf?

dwarf is, I have a great dwarf mate jason,he rides a motorcyle trike designed and built by his dad he always gets stopped by the police cause they think heis a little boy on the roads they get a bit of a shock, he works in the movies. He has won at lots of bike shows with his trike he has a wicked sense of humour.

Apart from the bit at the start, which is debateable in it's relevance to the thread too, what the hell has this got to do with the thread??!

Back still playing you up is it?!