robbobinoz

Here's the deal:

Ex-husband walks out on my partner (of six years) and her kids (then aged 2 and 6) 7 years ago and seeks divorce

Divorce granted

Maintenance agreement enforced via court order (includes requirement to increase payments year on year as well as contribute to clothing etc)

My partner meets me

Ex-husband begrudgingly agrees to have kids 1 weekend day per month. During this 24 hour period they are treated to nothing more than several hours stuck infront of a nintendo or watching a DVD in their room - everytime they go there!

Ex-husband takes no interest and does not get involved in kids school or medical matters (for 7 years!)

Maintenance payments continue but do not increase and no contribution made to clothing etc (over 7 years) i.e breach of court order

I contribute half to kids clothing, holidays, Xmas presents etc. Ex-husband tells kids that holidays, Xmas presents come out of his maintenance payments!

We politely ask ex-husband to authorise us to take kids to Oz (permanent visa) - initially he agrees

After having had stat dec forms for 2 months he now decides that:

1/ He will sign the forms if/when he feels like it

2/ He is not happy about not being able to get involved in the kids' lives if we move to Oz

3/ If he does relent and sign the forms, he will not pay maintenance as he refuses to 'pay for our new house in Australia'???!!!


So, in a nutshell, unless he has a complete change of heart it looks as though our (and more importantly - the kids!) dream of a new life in Oz is over before it began


It seems wrong that somebody who has behaved so poorly in the past is able to still dictate matters

Any legal gurus out there who can advise?


RBIO

Professional Princess

Im so sorry for you having a hard time.

How about if you say to your ex, you wont expect any maintenance from him when You are in Oz.

That he can come and see them anytime?

Agree to anything so he can agree to you taking them.

Got to be worth a go.

Elvira

I'm not a legal guru, but there's a few of them at the Motley Fool: www.fool.co.uk. Go to Discussion Boards, Helpful Fools - Legal Issues.

debbiemc

i have put out a similar thread this morning 'ex wont sign for 15 and 17 year olds' some advice from jeremy on there if you want to take a look.

debbie

myvkee

hi, I am sorry to hear this complexity. I may not be the authorized or an expert to advise but i do have something to say here- The Ex-husband seems to have an attitude factor, which is quite common in case like this. I think whatever steps you take to convice him, the Ex-husband should not be provoked and forced.
In the beginning -try to be nice with him and try sort things out in a freindly manner even if your heart doesnt agree to it, afterall it is the question of your and kids new life and dreams.
Rudeness and hot talks may delay dreams come true process.
Above all you are not losing anything at all if he doesnt respect your kind and polite behaviour, you can take any other majors then.

I do think that He would agree to it. Afterall he (Ex- husband) needs to be convinced and he needs to be understood that how important it is for the welfare of kids.

I apologise if my opinion seems to be offensive to you or any other on this forum.

debbiemc

don't apologise, you have given your opinion and advice, if people choose not to agree then thats their perogative.

i agree with what you say,i' in a similar position and each time i speak with my ex, i try to be nice and sometimes i end up biting my tongue.

debbie

lacey21

Your right myvkee,
make him think it was all his idea, we have just done that!
How fantastic you fell because he is being so helpful, he can see the kids anytime, even come over with the new girl friend.

Yeah course well find you a place to stay in oz while your here.

promise the earth,
get him to sign tell him to Funk!

Sorry I hate people who play at being god with children.
get the signature, do what you can and sod him off!!!!!!!

lace x

CathnPaul

Well said Lace, Sorry to hear about your dilema robbobinoz, it is hard going. We looked into it too when our eldest was young and we to couldnt get him out of the country because of my ex carboshing it.

One of our resistence criteria was waiting until he was 18 so my ex cant say no.The dream is still there 10 years on and will be until we get the PR.

lacey21

Well said Cath and welcome,
I didn't know you could spell big words lol
Lace x

pogsy

It seems to me from your post that money seems more important to him than anything else. I would tell him to stick the maintenance payments up his ar**, politely of course, this might encourage him to sign the papers, to me it would be money well spent if you know what I mean.

flynnyman

contradiction,(play at being god with children) if this was on the other foot? by the sounds of it hes a pr===k but still the father and taking the kids to the other side of the world is not easy for father or mother what ether the weather. keeping someone sweet just to get a signiture has a knock on effect not not just for the kids. i sounded like the fella discribed and so does every fella or women in a breakdown of a relationship. try and be as honest as you can "the children are listenin".

JAJ

If he's serious about continuining to say no, then a court order will be required. Unless you can show that whatever custody order you have allows you to remove children from the UK permanently (as far as UK law is concerned).


Jeremy

lacey21

If you have been married to him though it is a whole diffreent ball game and from 2003 fathers have automatic rights. So you would need to be cunning and polite to get him to sign.

As JAJ says a court order is always the best option if he is not willing to sign however getting one of these is easier said than done.

good luck
Lace x

Rob Morton-Jone

It is allways a difficult situation where children are concerened. I have 2 step children and had to persuade there father to let them move over to Oz. He put the childrens best interests first rather than his own but in your case it seems a little more complex.

It seems that the only option at the moment is a court order

Rob

Shaz&Dee

Just to let you know that we had to go through the courts as we had an ex wife refusing to sign the papers. Basically she sounds similar to your ex husband only she had to have supervised visits (need I say any more) and there was no mainainence payments in 7 years.

We won the right to remove the children from the jurisdiction (hands down I might add) but we did put alot of work into showing the court that this just wasn't a whim just to annoy her. We also had a child phycologist come to interview our kids for 3 hours.

We drew up an agreement of contact which included phone calls, emails, webcam etc. We basically agreed to everything in court that the ex wanted ref. contact arrangements.

All this was at the total cost of £8000, not cheap, but worth every penny.

Good luck to you and I hope it works out for you all.