FenTiger

Can't be bothered ..... should have been to Lillafüred if it's sunny or Mályi-to if it's not with a couple. No time fixed to set off .... depends when the couple wake up and are ready to set off. I woke up 6am, my wife 7:15am. Them 8:30am, they had breakfast 9:30am. It's nearly 10am and still no set off time. Just what am I supposed to do all morning? I've told my Hungarian wife this is selfish and rude, on top of behaving as though our time is less important than theirs. We shouldn't be expected to fit into other's lifestyle, especially if they are being as described as above. I see myself as easy going and flexible but there's a limit when I draw the line.
It's Lillafüred .... arrival time there will be around 11:30- 12noon.
Sorry, needed to get this rantboff my chest.

Jack_Russells4ever

The joy of living here in Hungary, Punctual people that make us wait if they even show up at all.

FenTiger

One too many times we're doing what others want to do. If they'd said we will set off early morning, late morning, early afternoon or late afternoon I'd be happy with that and will work round it. On top what's the plan for finding somewhere to eat?
Too many times my ideas for get-together didn't get past being mentioned. I wanted to go up Miskolc to see the tram decorated for Christmas. Didn't happen. Wanted go up to Miskolc to see a choir sing Silent Night in nine languages. Didn't happen. Hopefully, we will still get a chance to see the tram before it's put away until next Christmas.

scrubbedexpat142

Getting up at 06:00? My sympathy lies with the couple in question, 09:30 breakfast sounds about right to me! You're retired now Nick, getting up at silly o 'clock is behind you!

wolfi

My wife's a real lark so usually gets up at 6am - good for me because the coffee is done and breakfast is ready when I stumble out of the bedroom at 7.
My sister and her husband on the other hand are real owls, don't get up before 8.30, so we always have to compromise when we visit them or they stay with us.
OK, if you don't have to be in the same room - no problem.
PS:
Getting up before 6 seems to be no problem for most Hungarians. Our local butcher opens at 6 and the bakery at 5.30 even. So when we go there at 9 everything is nicely prepared, meat is sliced just like the bread, easy for the customers.

FenTiger

Will the Honourable Judge Expatrick accept in my defence I get up so early is because I suffer from chronic back pain. Once I wake up, even at silly o'clock, my back pain is so bad I cannot get back to sleep so have to get out of bed.

scrubbedexpat142

Had to take my sister (lives in Australia) to Nyugati station at about 05:00, she was staggered at the number of people on the move at that time.

scrubbedexpat142

And so the defence rests!

Seriously, I am sorry to hear about your back pain, must be very unpleasant.
Nub of the problem, really, if you think about it, different situations, different habits and expectations.

FenTiger

Compromise is the key factor here. I'm not met halfway!
Our pékség opens at 5am and closes 9pm.
I'm usually the person who Archie, our sprocker, wakes up during the early hours of the morning to be let out to do his doggie stuff. He also wakes me up when his sister, Milli the GSD, needs to go outside too! Thankfully, Milli, has sussed we're deaf and there's no point making any noise to wake us up .... they have to repeatedly batter us with a heavy paw!

scrubbedexpat142

I have the opposite problem, no matter what I'm rarely asleep before 04:00 (or later), so wake up about 09;00 feeling like death warmed up!

Had to take my wife to hospital at 07:00 the other day, that hurt after just 2 hours sleep.

FenTiger

I suffer from tinnitus, had it since I was 22 years old, I'm now 63. So, especially when I was working and under alot of stress, I'd struggle to get to sleep. Despite no longer working I still sometimes struggle to get to sleep so if as soon as I dive into bed and tinnitus is stopping me falling asleep I get out of bed, make myself a cup of decaf tea and watch TV until I'm so tired I'm certain I will drop off. Sometimes I've gone to bed and not taken off my hearing aid, set my mobile or tablet to play relaxing melodies music for 30-45 minutes and managed to fall asleep.
Always before an early morning drive or long trip I've struggled to fall asleep so felt pretty tired next day.

scrubbedexpat142

That's rough. And yes, if you know you've got an early commitment, then sleeping us a problem.

Going back to today's problem, I guess you will have to set (agree) a start time, knowing in your own mind that you will probably be setting off half an hour later than agreed - or going without them!

FenTiger

My Hungarian wife has gone to Lillafüred with them. She's said she is going to tell them to be more considerate to others when organising get-togethers. I agree .... "going without them" is a definite option. I think 2023 I will venture off to various places on my own. If they ask why I didn't ask them to join ... I'd say ... because you always mess up my events. Tried to organise a few this year but .... never happened.

scrubbedexpat142

As I'm sure you already know, more often than not YOU are the only person you can rely on!

We find all our Hungarian friends are always fashionably late, ie 10 minutes or so - which suits us fine. The funniest was our first language teacher who was always about 20 minutes late. Never bothered us but we used to laugh at the text messages which always said "Sietek!" followed by the excuse of the day! (Bus pass expired / lost, fell over in the snow, had to go home & change my socks, lost my shoes, dog ate the homework, etc, etc). Priceless!

FenTiger

My experience is one or two hours late. I remember one occasion when sister-in-law said we would head into town at 10am. She turned up 2 hours later. She said she had to cook her youngest son a meal. Suffice to say when to got to Auchan, south of Miskolc, I went AWOL, walked to Miskolc city centre. Had a couple of pints, walked around the city then headed home on foot. As to who needed a cooked meal surely the father could have whipped up something or the guilty party could have made himself beans on toast!
We have spent alot of money on our new verandah. If family want to have a party here it will be a good opportunity to negotiate usage of ít. In our home main language is British Sign Language, that applied to our home in UK and Hungary. When Hungarian visitors come here I'm not happy because my view is they should compromise. I regard our house as a multilingual house whereby everyone makes an attempt to speak or sign in each other's language or offer translation. Bottom line most of funding for our property has come from property investments before I met my Hungarian wife! I do not think anywhere in our village there's a similar verandah to ours. Maybe a more expensive property but not our 40 sq.m. verandah. With regards to property investments .... my area was gentrified .... I didn't spend much improving it. Since I sold that property in 2006 prices have doubled. Sometimes I wish I had not sold it and I'd been a half £££ millionaire. Sheet!