Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
Nov 16th 2018, 11:48 am
#1
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Joined: Nov 2018
Location: Budapest
Posts: 5
Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
Hi all,
Just moved here about 3 months ago from Malaysia. After a decade living in the UK, I must admit that Hungary is a bit challenging for me to live in. I find that the local seems to be lacking of empathy. They seem to care only about themselves. Their own needs and their own live.
For example, I told my lawyer that I am feeling depressed here and that I wanted to quit and leave Hungary as soon as possible. But what he cares about is himself, asking me what he did wrong and accusing me blaming him for the high cost of living here. I wrote back to him and telling him that I am not blaming him. I am just giving him the solid reasons for my decision that one of them is feeling depressed as it seems that no one really understands me as a fresh foreigner. He then just completely ignored me. The same with a few other Hungarians I have talked with. They all seem completely void of empathy. Not showing any sympathy.
It can be overwhelming if you feel depressed and trying to reach out but no one cares.
Have you ever experience this social phenomenon here? How do you cope?
Thanks,
Lau
Just moved here about 3 months ago from Malaysia. After a decade living in the UK, I must admit that Hungary is a bit challenging for me to live in. I find that the local seems to be lacking of empathy. They seem to care only about themselves. Their own needs and their own live.
For example, I told my lawyer that I am feeling depressed here and that I wanted to quit and leave Hungary as soon as possible. But what he cares about is himself, asking me what he did wrong and accusing me blaming him for the high cost of living here. I wrote back to him and telling him that I am not blaming him. I am just giving him the solid reasons for my decision that one of them is feeling depressed as it seems that no one really understands me as a fresh foreigner. He then just completely ignored me. The same with a few other Hungarians I have talked with. They all seem completely void of empathy. Not showing any sympathy.
It can be overwhelming if you feel depressed and trying to reach out but no one cares.
Have you ever experience this social phenomenon here? How do you cope?
Thanks,
Lau
Last edited by antarctican; Nov 16th 2018 at 12:30 pm.
Nov 16th 2018, 12:30 pm
#2
Banned
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 236
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
I don't think you can infer general things from a very small number of examples. Your lawyer might just be too busy to have any time for you (he's not your friend, after all) & has moved onto other projects/ clients.
I've found Hungarians to be generally friendly, helpful and with a great sense of humour. Empathy with depression - I couldn't comment on that. Probably most of them would say sort yourself out with a more active life & give yourself some satisfaction with your chosen path, eg if we're talking living in Hungary as a new expat, get out & about, see a lot more of Hungary & Hungarians, read up about the country & its history, learn some basic Hungarian and connect a bit more with Hungarians, even if it's only saying hello, thank you etc at first. Ie they probably wouldn't be particularly big on empathy but would try to be helpful & give you ideas to start feeling more cheerful.
I've found Hungarians to be generally friendly, helpful and with a great sense of humour. Empathy with depression - I couldn't comment on that. Probably most of them would say sort yourself out with a more active life & give yourself some satisfaction with your chosen path, eg if we're talking living in Hungary as a new expat, get out & about, see a lot more of Hungary & Hungarians, read up about the country & its history, learn some basic Hungarian and connect a bit more with Hungarians, even if it's only saying hello, thank you etc at first. Ie they probably wouldn't be particularly big on empathy but would try to be helpful & give you ideas to start feeling more cheerful.
Nov 16th 2018, 12:39 pm
#3
Concierge
Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,139
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
Hi all,
Just moved here about 3 months ago from Malaysia. After a decade living in the UK, I must admit that Hungary is a bit challenging for me to live in. I find that the local seems to be lacking of empathy. They seem to care only about themselves. Their own needs and their own live.
For example, I told my lawyer that I am feeling depressed here and that I wanted to quit and leave Hungary as soon as possible. But what he cares about is himself, asking me what he did wrong and accusing me blaming him for the high cost of living here. I wrote back to him and telling him that I am not blaming him. I am just giving him the solid reasons for my decision that one of them is feeling depressed as it seems that no one really understands me as a fresh foreigner. He then just completely ignored me. The same with a few other Hungarians I have talked with. They all seem completely void of empathy. Not showing any sympathy.
It can be overwhelming if you feel depressed and trying to reach out but no one cares.
Have you ever experience this social phenomenon here? How do you cope?
Thanks,
Lau
Just moved here about 3 months ago from Malaysia. After a decade living in the UK, I must admit that Hungary is a bit challenging for me to live in. I find that the local seems to be lacking of empathy. They seem to care only about themselves. Their own needs and their own live.
For example, I told my lawyer that I am feeling depressed here and that I wanted to quit and leave Hungary as soon as possible. But what he cares about is himself, asking me what he did wrong and accusing me blaming him for the high cost of living here. I wrote back to him and telling him that I am not blaming him. I am just giving him the solid reasons for my decision that one of them is feeling depressed as it seems that no one really understands me as a fresh foreigner. He then just completely ignored me. The same with a few other Hungarians I have talked with. They all seem completely void of empathy. Not showing any sympathy.
It can be overwhelming if you feel depressed and trying to reach out but no one cares.
Have you ever experience this social phenomenon here? How do you cope?
Thanks,
Lau
It's hard when you feel ignored by others, but to be fair most people only expend their emotional energy on those close to them so it's not really realistic to expect people like your solicitor to step in to help.
If you're feeling as though everything's a bit hopeless or you're finding you're not enjoying things that you used to like doing, then I'd suggest finding a local doctor/GP to have a chat with. Sometimes we just need a little help to get over difficult times. Wishing you the best of luck.
Nov 16th 2018, 12:39 pm
#4
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Joined: Nov 2018
Location: Budapest
Posts: 5
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
I don't think you can infer general things from a very small number of examples. Your lawyer might just be too busy to have any time for you (he's not your friend, after all) & has moved onto other projects/ clients.
I've found Hungarians to be generally friendly, helpful and with a great sense of humour. Empathy with depression - I couldn't comment on that. Probably most of them would say sort yourself out with a more active life & give yourself some satisfaction with your chosen path, eg if we're talking living in Hungary as a new expat, get out & about, see a lot more of Hungary & Hungarians, read up about the country & its history, learn some basic Hungarian and connect a bit more with Hungarians, even if it's only saying hello, thank you etc at first. Ie they probably wouldn't be particularly big on empathy but would try to be helpful & give you ideas to start feeling more cheerful.
I've found Hungarians to be generally friendly, helpful and with a great sense of humour. Empathy with depression - I couldn't comment on that. Probably most of them would say sort yourself out with a more active life & give yourself some satisfaction with your chosen path, eg if we're talking living in Hungary as a new expat, get out & about, see a lot more of Hungary & Hungarians, read up about the country & its history, learn some basic Hungarian and connect a bit more with Hungarians, even if it's only saying hello, thank you etc at first. Ie they probably wouldn't be particularly big on empathy but would try to be helpful & give you ideas to start feeling more cheerful.
"they probably wouldn't be particularly big on empathy but [...]" - This is what I actually need to know. Glad to know that I am not alone noticing it :-)
Thank you!
Nov 16th 2018, 12:50 pm
#5
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Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
Hi Lau, sorry to hear that you're feeling depressed. Do you have any good friends or close family in Hungary? They're usually the best people to talk to if you're feeling down - they care about us enough to listen, and know us well enough to give us some practical advice that's relevant to us!
It's hard when you feel ignored by others, but to be fair most people only expend their emotional energy on those close to them so it's not really realistic to expect people like your solicitor to step in to help.
If you're feeling as though everything's a bit hopeless or you're finding you're not enjoying things that you used to like doing, then I'd suggest finding a local doctor/GP to have a chat with. Sometimes we just need a little help to get over difficult times. Wishing you the best of luck.
It's hard when you feel ignored by others, but to be fair most people only expend their emotional energy on those close to them so it's not really realistic to expect people like your solicitor to step in to help.
If you're feeling as though everything's a bit hopeless or you're finding you're not enjoying things that you used to like doing, then I'd suggest finding a local doctor/GP to have a chat with. Sometimes we just need a little help to get over difficult times. Wishing you the best of luck.
"Do you have any good friends or close family in Hungary?" - I am here alone. Just as I went to the UK alone years ago, then making lots of friends there. I hope here is not too bad. I think I need to give it some time here.
Thank you!
Lau :-)
Nov 16th 2018, 12:53 pm
#6
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Joined: Jan 2013
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 21,139
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
Hey, thanks for the reply. Appreciate it.
"Do you have any good friends or close family in Hungary?" - I am here alone. Just as I went to the UK alone years ago, then making lots of friends there. I hope here is not too bad. I think I need to give it some time here.
Thank you!
Lau :-)
"Do you have any good friends or close family in Hungary?" - I am here alone. Just as I went to the UK alone years ago, then making lots of friends there. I hope here is not too bad. I think I need to give it some time here.
Thank you!
Lau :-)
I think you're right about giving it some more time, very sensible!
Nov 16th 2018, 7:02 pm
#7
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Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 236
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
Why do you have a lawyer, Lau?
Nov 16th 2018, 7:20 pm
#9
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Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 236
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
So what are you doing in Hungary? Plans? What is the business or was that just a way to get KFT?
Bit confused about Malaysia/ UK. Maybe you can explain.
Nov 16th 2018, 7:42 pm
#10
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Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
I contacted this lawyer through the recommendation from the Hungarian Embassy in Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia). He told me to set up a Kft company if I wanted to come to live here. So I did.
But now I am looking for a new lawyer to help me to change my Kft company to sole trader instead because the tax is high for a Kft company. I can go for the KATA tax type if I am a sole trader I believe. Then it can help to lower the cost of living here.
I need a new lawyer, at least I can get a second opinion. I feel that my lawyer is trying to drag me along. He does not seem want me to dissolve my Kft company because I am paying him 50 EUR a month for my company address. He argued that 50 EUR a month is also for the legal advice. But I don't think I need the legal advice every month. It seems a bit silly and being ripped off to pay a lawyer every month for the legal advice you don't often need.
Does this make sense?
Nov 16th 2018, 8:54 pm
#11
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Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 236
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
Only if your income from the business is low or non-existent.
50 EUR a month is chickenfeed for now if you are getting your feet on the ground & establishing your business.
I should concentrate on getting some money flowing in through work.
50 EUR a month is chickenfeed for now if you are getting your feet on the ground & establishing your business.
I should concentrate on getting some money flowing in through work.
Nov 17th 2018, 7:36 am
#12
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,774
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
Hi all,
Just moved here about 3 months ago from Malaysia. After a decade living in the UK, I must admit that Hungary is a bit challenging for me to live in. I find that the local seems to be lacking of empathy. They seem to care only about themselves. Their own needs and their own live.
For example, I told my lawyer that I am feeling depressed here and that I wanted to quit and leave Hungary as soon as possible. But what he cares about is himself, asking me what he did wrong and accusing me blaming him for the high cost of living here. I wrote back to him and telling him that I am not blaming him. I am just giving him the solid reasons for my decision that one of them is feeling depressed as it seems that no one really understands me as a fresh foreigner. He then just completely ignored me. The same with a few other Hungarians I have talked with. They all seem completely void of empathy. Not showing any sympathy.
It can be overwhelming if you feel depressed and trying to reach out but no one cares.
Have you ever experience this social phenomenon here? How do you cope?
Thanks,
Lau
Just moved here about 3 months ago from Malaysia. After a decade living in the UK, I must admit that Hungary is a bit challenging for me to live in. I find that the local seems to be lacking of empathy. They seem to care only about themselves. Their own needs and their own live.
For example, I told my lawyer that I am feeling depressed here and that I wanted to quit and leave Hungary as soon as possible. But what he cares about is himself, asking me what he did wrong and accusing me blaming him for the high cost of living here. I wrote back to him and telling him that I am not blaming him. I am just giving him the solid reasons for my decision that one of them is feeling depressed as it seems that no one really understands me as a fresh foreigner. He then just completely ignored me. The same with a few other Hungarians I have talked with. They all seem completely void of empathy. Not showing any sympathy.
It can be overwhelming if you feel depressed and trying to reach out but no one cares.
Have you ever experience this social phenomenon here? How do you cope?
Thanks,
Lau
Nov 17th 2018, 7:59 am
#13
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2012
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Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
He is a lawyer, not a therapist.
Nov 17th 2018, 8:33 am
#14
On a grand tour
Joined: Jul 2017
Location: Somewhere dusty
Posts: 240
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
I'm trying hard to to be 'sympathetic' to this post, but...
You've chosen Hungary because a Kft structure provides a path to residence - and henceforth to the wider EU, let's be honest here. A lawyer has helped you to do just that and suggested a eur50 monthly 'retainer' to cater for future bureaucratic and legal requirements. What's the problem?
The amount is, compared to the prize of being legally resident and set up in the EU, peanuts - so cultivate a solid, professional relationship. That sum is not enough to demand more of his time, like a VIP client could perhaps do.
Perhaps people have been a bit cool towards you because they get the sense (perhaps mistakenly, perhaps not) that Hungary represents merely a 'flag of convenience', which is what I infer from your explanations above. Moaning about the laughably low cost of living isn't going to endear you to anyone, either - nor about their level of empathy. Do you speak the language at all?
You've chosen Hungary because a Kft structure provides a path to residence - and henceforth to the wider EU, let's be honest here. A lawyer has helped you to do just that and suggested a eur50 monthly 'retainer' to cater for future bureaucratic and legal requirements. What's the problem?
The amount is, compared to the prize of being legally resident and set up in the EU, peanuts - so cultivate a solid, professional relationship. That sum is not enough to demand more of his time, like a VIP client could perhaps do.
Perhaps people have been a bit cool towards you because they get the sense (perhaps mistakenly, perhaps not) that Hungary represents merely a 'flag of convenience', which is what I infer from your explanations above. Moaning about the laughably low cost of living isn't going to endear you to anyone, either - nor about their level of empathy. Do you speak the language at all?
Nov 17th 2018, 9:00 am
#15
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2017
Posts: 0
Re: Empathy and social phenomenon in Hungary
I don't think you can infer general things from a very small number of examples. Your lawyer might just be too busy to have any time for you (he's not your friend, after all) & has moved onto other projects/ clients.
I've found Hungarians to be generally friendly, helpful and with a great sense of humour. Empathy with depression - I couldn't comment on that. Probably most of them would say sort yourself out with a more active life & give yourself some satisfaction with your chosen path, eg if we're talking living in Hungary as a new expat, get out & about, see a lot more of Hungary & Hungarians, read up about the country & its history, learn some basic Hungarian and connect a bit more with Hungarians, even if it's only saying hello, thank you etc at first. Ie they probably wouldn't be particularly big on empathy but would try to be helpful & give you ideas to start feeling more cheerful.
I've found Hungarians to be generally friendly, helpful and with a great sense of humour. Empathy with depression - I couldn't comment on that. Probably most of them would say sort yourself out with a more active life & give yourself some satisfaction with your chosen path, eg if we're talking living in Hungary as a new expat, get out & about, see a lot more of Hungary & Hungarians, read up about the country & its history, learn some basic Hungarian and connect a bit more with Hungarians, even if it's only saying hello, thank you etc at first. Ie they probably wouldn't be particularly big on empathy but would try to be helpful & give you ideas to start feeling more cheerful.
