Hi everyone,

we have to move back to the north of England by the end of April in a rush and haven't got a clue where to start!!!! We have been here for 8 years and going back to blighty seems a bit overwhelming. We have a 3 year old and I'm pregnant with twins.
Any help/advice or just pointing in the right direction would be fantastic.
A bit vague i know, but worth a shot i thought.

You may wish to start by reading this dedicated Wiki link.

Then read the posts on the 'Moving back to UK' forum of this B.E site.
http://britishexpats.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=61

Make a list. Put EDF at the top because they will be the biggest pain to get sorted, followed by your bank.. Good luck

But don't empty and close your French bank account until you're sure you've sorted out all your outstanding taxes and bills, otherwise you might end up with more hassle and extra charges. E.g. you will probably have property taxes that will need paying towards the end of 2013.

Thanks so much, this is a great start!!!

Hi quirky,
We've not spoke before and im sorry to hear you've decided to return to the uk,
What i wanted to say is are you sure you really want to return?

It's a huge move now both with the little one and twins on the way, Uk has changed a lot since you came to france 8 years ago (it's the same time we came here)
Sometimes its a good thing to really have a good hard look at what france has to offer and what the uk has.
I know its easy to sit down and ask you these questions as we are settled here and the only way we will leave this house is via a box.

The few times ive returned to the uk i just couldnt wait to return to our run down house in france, the peace, no real crime,
every year the run down house has got better & better and now its a real nice home in a nice area and one i could'nt afford back in the uk "But like anything worth having it took time effort and riding out the storms life sometimes brings.

Everything cost more now both in the uk and here in france, nothing will be the same as when you left so as i say maybe just maybe a good hard think is worth doing and its cost nothing to think.

No matter what you decide Good luck.

Hi, depending on when your twins are due, maybe you should either advance your date of departure and have time to settle in the UK before the birth, or stay longer in France until they're born and you're ready to travel so far, with a young child in tow, to boot.
If you return to the UK before they are born, collect together all the documents relating to your pregnancy and translate them before consulting in the UK.
And do keep your French Bank Account open for (un)expected expenses for a good year after your departure.
All the best!

I really do know that the benefits here are fantastic in comparison to the UK BUT....here we don't have any family, not so many friends - not in vicinity anyway and coping with 3 children alone while my husband is at work just seems terrifying!!
I'm thinking that it's ok having all the benefits and ups of a country but if you are struggling without support then what's the point?
Maybe I'm just going about it the wrong way.?

Aaaah, I thought from your first post that your move was due to your OH's relocation or for UK family reasons. Do I understand that you want to move back to have family support for you and your three children?
If your OH is working here, what will he do about work if you return to the UK?
If you're afraid you can't cope, there are plenty of part-time childcare possibilities in France which would enable you to have a break. There are countless other mothers in the same boat as you (me included, a few decades ago and I was working at home!), with husbands out at work all day - enquire at your Mairie about the municipal or private Halte-Garderies in your Commune, or a child-minder a few hours a week, or look for a Lycéenne to mind your children on Wednesday afternoons. If your 3 year old is at Maternelle, ask the other mothers how they cope.
If you decide to stay here after all, organise as from now some one from your family to come and look after your 3 year old before and after the birth. Your OH would have paternity leave after the birth, but not for long.
Hope this helps!

Hi folks,
I say folks because not only has our friend here decided to think! and thats as far as its got just now thinking of returning to the uk, "But also dmu has also seen the reasons why, ie feeling a bit lost while husbands working,

I really can understand we're your coming from and im going to say this,
If ive found any bad points about living here in france its making true honest friends, Oh dont get me wrong when we first arrived and still lived in the uk but spent every chance to be here "france" and do as much as time would allowe doing up our place,
we met ex-pats (mainly because we still had brit plates up then) and we soon found out that a lot of these people enjoyed nothing more than talking behind each others backs and even one couple took great pride in telling me they kept a diary of who was trained to do what so they could expect work done for next to nothing,

Ive met people who have a great drink problem due to thinking wine here was so cheap (cooking wine is cheap good drinking wine cost a little more)
And so spent most of their time not doing anything to their run down homes and then come winter started to suffer because of lack of effort on they're part.

But the point im trying to make and taking no prisoners in making the point is this,
Good true friends has been hard to find, maybe just maybe if you gave a little thought to moving we're you've got both more english people and the local school a few minutes walk, this way you'll have a chance of meeting people who have young children and people who really do like friendship for friendship sake, (They're in the same boat as you but wouldnt give up all they've done and go back)
Its takes time to build a friendship but the rewards are a life times reward,

Have a think about it,?
As ive already said the uk has its good points and so has france and then ask yourself what gave you the gutts to leave the uk and try to make a life for yourself here in the first place?
It really takes a lot to do what you've done in coming here,
This is one thing all us ex-pats have in common "we decided to take the plunge and do it.

You've been here 8 years now so im sure yours was'nt a love affair with a holiday here and all that these dreams have at the time,
How many ex-pats have never changed a light bulb back in the uk, "Yet they come here and buy a real shed having had a hot summer holiday here and think they'll sort all the work out for a few cents and all will be great from then on,?
Have a good heart to heart with your husband and see if you "Both really" want to start again with the extra weight of young children you've now got.

If we can be of any help on this one just "e" mail us and let us know And we'll take it from there.

When you think about it, many people spend a lifetime in the UK forging friendships, and some of those last a long time

Moving to a new country often you start of at square 1 again. No friends, and often those that you do make are just acquaintances rather than true friends. It's a tough thing really as you cant rely on them to be there like you can your true friends

Hi Mitzyboy,
What your saying is very true, I did a lot of my working life in the army On the first day of arrival i found i was sleeping in a hut with 34 other people from all walks of life and from all parts of the uk and some brit/ Australian's.

We had white people black people mixed race etc,
The scottish could be hard to understand once they'd had a few, the irish the same, but we all found out very soon once we'd met the trained soldier's ie the C.S.M. (company sergeant major) better known as god!

Within a very short time the 34 new trainee soldiers had dropped down to 19 and us 19 we're joined up with the other intake and what was left of their starting number,
After the 16 weeks training was over and we'd been called every name under the sun by the training staff (no matter what colour you happen to be) we became a team, better friends than we'd known before we joined,

why!
Because we we're all in the same boat, all wanting to try a new life, all had lumps and bumps along the road to becoming a soldier " a man" even at 17yrs of age,

At the time when i joined you did active service at 17yrs, "it was changed to 18 min later"
You found friendship, help both given and recieved and respect for each other,

Now im not saying we all liked everyone because one or two people i myself didnt like but if they needed a hand it was there and vice versa,

Now the one person we all found out tobe the best thing since sliced bread was the one person we all at one time thought was evil / mental and cold was the sergeant major, this came when we found out what it was like to be hated by people we didnt even know It was'nt a game anymore it was now the real thing, Stones really do hurt and petrol burns.
It was the "C.S.M? GOD himself who stood side by side with us when the street riots started, respect was earned that day,
what im trying to say is you dont always need a life time to make a friend but it can take a life time of being used /put up on to not know when a friend is there and they only need your understanding that they're not after any material things, they're not wanting to be paid,
these are the future friends, the people you dont want to leave behind.

Friendship is there and it starts from the first hello.

Hello,

The reason you are leaving France is one of the reasons I'm undecided about moving out to France. So am glad this subject has come up.

The friendships you had in the UK won't be there unless you move back to the same location. We moved from Brighton in Sussex to Cornwall almost 10 years ago now. I have one truly good friend and a couple of neighbours who we get along with after 10 years in Cornwall.
Do not assume that by moving back to the UK you will get what you're after.

When you left the UK 8 years ago things were bad but trust me they were no where near as bad as they are now.

Crime and TAXs have already been mentioned.
lack of employment opportunities are really taking it's toll, a lot of companies are expecting people to work a lot longer hours and years for a lot less money and incentives which we once took for granted. Paid meal breaks, pension schemes being changed drastically and Improving Working Time Directives from the EU seem to be ignored now.

Some companies are asking their staff if they would hand back a weeks holiday to the company to avoid reduction in staffing.

UK is not a nice lace to be at the moment - honest - just ask you family and friends back in the UK.

Mike

Hi Quirky

You say you have to move back. Is it because you really hate it where you are or because you are scared of coping with the forthcoming twins and a 3 year old?

As my name suggests I am a grandmother, several times over but I had both my children thousands of miles from my UK friends and family on a remote island in the West Indies.

I suspect you would get better health care in France and certainly more support. Do you really not have any local friends? Any family who could stay to help out for a few weeks after the twins arrival?

I know the mums around here (we have had 4 babes in the hameau in the last 12 months) are hugely supportive of each other, as are the oldies who are always ready to do what they can. We have looked after the children of our two immediate neighbours - both French.

We went to Jersey when our grandaughter was born and have dashed all over the place to help our daughter when other GCs were born, or when her husband was deployed by the army.

If you have Cartes Vital and a mutuel then you may wish to look at the implications of returning to the UK too. I gather it is not as simple as it would appear.

I am really quite concerned for you - heck I would almost get on a train and help out myself!!

Have a good think and a serious discussion with your husband and family and friends before you burn your boats.

Good luck and don't give up!!

Do you think that it is any different in France?
Unemployment is higher in France than in the UK.
Crime is also increasing in France.
Taxes are also increasing in France.
Why do you think that many french people come to the UK to find work and real career choices?
France is hurting under the weight of the burden created by the financial crisis and it is bad enough for native french speakers rather than non-french who are not familiar with the french way of life.
Life is not always greener across the channel,