Thank you all so much for all your help I will now set wheels in motion.

I wouldn't dream of going back to the uk until all the debts were paid, which if we could sell, then it would pay them all off. I now know that I have to separate myself financially from him so the first step I think is doing that. When all this sorry mess is sorted I will have to go back to the uk unfortunately, I love living here it's so safe, we have the seasons and of course the food.

I think I am thinking a bit more clearly now.

Thank you all

Glad you're feeling a bit more positive

It isn't straightforward to 'separate' yourself from him financially for any debts incurred previously. These steps can only be put in place under a legal separation order through the courts. This is why you must see an assistante sociale urgently to start the surrendettement process going. Without this, the bailifs will come and for things like electricity and water they'll cut you off (this happened to a French guy I know - 160 unpaid bill, 200 euros to reconnect = 360 euros). So far as government bills (foncieres tax, habitation, hospital bills, etc) these will be taken directly from your bank account and if there are insufficient funds your bank account will be closed and the bailifs will want to take goods to the value. If there aren't enough, they will put a reposession order on your home. I promise you I'm not trying to frighten you but this is a very worrying situation as you are currently jointly responsible for this mess your husband has created. Your assistante sociale will try to keep the bailifs away by the surrendettement process but then she will almost certainly advise you to file for a divorce and obtain an urgent hearing for a separation order. She will further advise you how to remove yourself from all the utility bills. Incidentally, do you have a joint bank account? If so, how didn't you realise these bills weren't being paid? Did you never get to the post box before him when all the reminders came flooding in? Our postperson pitches up anytime between 10 - 12 so for someone who's working he must have made damn sure he was around to intercept the mail.

Don't do anything in a rush, such as selling your house or flat just to pay off someone else's debts. Legal advice is absolutely essential, to avoid losing everything, and because if you can prove that your present place was bought with your money, and not with money that you both had, it might make a difference. Did you get married in France or the UK?
You will also need legal help in order to "separate yourself from your husband financially". Another reason to seek legal assistance straight away.

All the best
PB

Garonne is quite right, if a little alarmist but rightly so. However, theoretically the utility companies have in place ways of helping people like you who cannot pay their bills. The trouble is, if they don't know you're in difficulty, they aren't going to act. Nor is the tax man. Your problems are far more common, alas, than you may realise.
You seem to be in very deep, which is why you must turn to anyone, anyone that you know who can speak French and that might be willing to help you. It may not be the first person you ask or person number 10, but there's someone out there among the people that you know who will agree to help. If you don't know anyone you can turn to, then you must go in to the town hall and explain things as best you can. There are ways of dealing with the problems you are faced with, and which no doubt seem insurmountable at the moment. Your urgent task is to indeed, set the wheels in motion, as soon as possible. No procrastination, no thoughts of running away. You enjoy life here; there is no reason whatsoever why you should have to give it all up for someone else, who in addition is a second offender. Merde enfin!
PB

Wise words Peabrain. By the way Squibs, post this on a forum dealing specifically with your region/department. Have a look at AngloInfo and find the relevant one for where you live and put this on there. The reason I say this is not to promote AngloInfo (far from it!!) but because people like myself offer to make phonecalls and go along to places to translate for free for people in genuine difficulty such as yourself. I'm sure someone will pop up offering to 'stand by your side' for free. Also, you'll almost certainly qualify for legal aid 'aide judictionnelle' but all of this is going to need more than a bit of basic French to sort out. As Peabrain says, you HAVE to find yourself a French speaker so try AngloInfo. Good luck (PS What department are you in?)

Garonne this is exactly why I am such a fan of BE. There is always someone such as Peabrain or yourself along with good solid advice.

Squibs is in 74 near Evian.

You are all wonderful people thank you so much for all your time and effort.

I live near chatel which is in the 74 region near Thonon /Evian.

I will look on the anglo info site.

He works from home so he got the mail, but I didn't know and realize that I needed to get there before him until I found all the letters, I know now but it's like closing the stable door after the horse has bolted,

He went down and paid something off the insurances and has cancelled them all. I have managed to pay the electric bill, so it's the syndic, and tax froncier that's left, I paid the phone as well. The problem is everything is in joint names but when I only have a small pension, I do think they are irresponsible for putting things in joint names

I seem to get worse as the day goes on...



Never would I have thought I would be in this situation

Squibs,

Well some things seem to be getting done. I'm a bit worried about your saying 'he's' cancelled the insurance. What insurance? I trust it isn't the one on the flat, which is compulsory, or on any vehicles you may have. If your husband has seen your correspondence that isn't such a bad thing if it means he gets his a..e in gear and does something about the remaining outstanding bills.

If you're feeling down, there is always the possibility of going to see your doctor, who may be able to help you see a little more clearly and it won't set you back more than 23 euros.

If you haven't already done so, get yourself down to the Chatel Mairie on Monday morning. That is where you start.
Keep in touch,
PB

Hmm - cancelled all the insurances - normally people bang their heads against brick walls trying to cancel insurances !!! you can only cancel at renewal and you have to follow set procedures. If he's managed to cancel them mid-term at the drop of a hat, well done him, but is sounds a tad irregular and it might be as well to check that they really are cancelled.

Hi, update, I have an appointment with the palace de justice tomorro all being well, and hopefully I can get I to see the notaire this week, I have been in bed most of yesterday as I tried to get out of bed the room started spinning, it was awful, still dizzy today but a little better so hopefully I am going to be able to drive, as I have to get off the mountain.

Thank you all for all your help, it's nice to know I am not alone, what lovely people you are.

I will keep you all informed x

Great. You're on your way. All the very best, and do keep us informed, and ask for help if necessary. (Especially if you need anything to be written in French or explained to you.)

PB

Hi again! As mentioned on the MBTUK forum, are you seeing the Notaire for the joint-ownership question? Have you found an Avocat for the Palais de Justice?
All the best, and keep us updated.
P.S. I'm slightly worried about your OH cancelling the insurances, too. Quite apart from the fact that they are compulsory, the slightest claim for damage caused to third parties won't be covered....

The thing is that if insurances are compulsory, the insurers can't normally cancel them just like that, even if the premiums haven't been paid, they are required to obtain evidence that alternative arrangements are in place. I've always thought it was stupid verging on the impertinent that they make you prove you no longer need a particular insurance - car sold, business closed down, etc - before they will terminate the policy, but I suppose it does stop people trying to cancel just to save money. Or I assume it does, if the system works.

Hello all. Well things didn't go as I had hoped, I can't see anyone for free they gave me a form to fill in, well a book really!!! And said I would have to pay and then send all the forms off and they will asses if I qualify to get it free....
I will not be able to separate myself financially from him because we have a mortgage and I am financially dependant on him......

I go to the notair next week this week has been cancelled, I (we) have a small apartment 25 square meter that I bought before we moved here that we used for ski holidays, and I am going to see if I can put that into my children's names, will not hold my breath, and don't know if he will agree to this!!!!

Seem to be up against a brick wall at the moment. Don't know what to do next. I have managed to get most things up to date the only thing outstanding now is the sindyc charges, thanks to my daughter. feeling down today now.

Well chin up squibs. You may think you are not moving upwards, but you are moving forward, and getting on with lots.

I have not heard back from our friend yet, she may be in Spain. I will chase again.
Cheer up. Things are progressing