Hi there I'm new here and would like to tell you a bit about myself and my family.
Well first of all we haven't actually emigrated anywhere yet but I hope this site will help us. We had been planning to emigrate to New Zealand and are going to Australia and NZ for a month in December this year as a holiday and fact finding trip etc but after months of considering the move and doing research I think I have decided that it's just too far and too much of a wrench (sp??). Probably having to leave my 18yr old son behind was a major factor. Thinking about it was great but imaging putting it into practice was enough to evoke tears so the real thing is too much.
So anyway.....
.... I thought what about France?? It's closer, the climate's better (or is it?), property is cheaper, my hubby could carry on running his business here in England from France and possibly open a branch of his company in France and we don't stand to loose as much if it doesn't work out.
So convince me, or otherwise, that France is the place to be for my family .

Hello Flossyflo
Do you just have one child 18 yrs? We moved to France 7 years ago and the hardest part was the children then 12 and 15. The eldest was already settled and happy in boarding school and the youngest was to go to school in France, but she was SO unhappy, that in the end we let her go back to her old day school as a boarder. By then we had sold up and could not go back, it broke my heart to be without them both, and needless to say drained the contingency resources we had put by. We bought a gite business that was already up and running and thankfully is still very successful.
Obviously yours son is already grown up, does he live with you at the moment?

All that aside, we love France, and feel a sense of peace when we are here. It is true that you really do leave the rat race behind, and certainly you are not far from the UK for family visits. The 'children' have benefitted from the experience of coming over whenever it fits with their plans, but I do often feel a sense of frustration and isolation from friends and family. It can never again be an impromptu visit or dropping in for Sunday lunch - thats what i miss.

If thats all, you can-not complain.

No certainly can't complain, but flossyflo has children the same age so will probably understand what I mean.

Thanks for your thoughts flutterfly.
Sorry I should have mentioned that I also have a five year old and three year old so obviously that's a major consideration with regards to how easy it would be to uproot us all.
Personally I think it's better to make the leap when the kids are younger rather than teens but life never goes to plan does it? My son never forgave us for moving 5miles from our old home when he was 13yrs old! I'm living in hope that the little ones are young enough to be adaptable but of course there's no guarantee.

I think young children are always easier to move as they rely more on their parents but teenagers are always more difficult as they rely more on their friends! I'm sure if you ensure there are plenty of activities that they love in the location you choose then this will make the transition easier but I would say go for it - the experience will always be worthwhile. I have friends who went to France with teenagers and although the eldest didn't settle at school (aged 15 when moved and they subsequently moved back as kept the UK house) she has now chosen a route of studying that involves French and intends to go back! It has broadened her horizon and that can only be a good thing.
Good luck

Yes, if older, it does broaden their horizons and that can only be a good thing. The younger they are the better. I know at least 2 families who moved here 15 years ago with children aged around 5. They have never looked back, the children settled easily, and were bilingual within weeks. Now at the age of early 20s they have decided to go back to University in UK, but are completely bilingual with not a trace of an accent. What a great way to start their adult lives!

I think with such young children you should just go for it. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain in terms of quality of life.Our daughter was just too far past her comfort zone at 12 to make such a big change.

It's a difficult decision that is something that can't be escaped. Moving away is one thing but doing it in the face of your son's displeasure makes it even more difficult. If he was already troubled by your moving when he was thirteen it complicates it. I suppose it is always possible that your moving to the other side of the world might be the best thing that ever happens to him! You really can't know I guess. Certainly I would never have considered moving to Aus or NZ until a year or so ago when my mother died and I felt released from having and wanting to stay close to her. It is a long way of course to travel and makes that thing of dropping by for coffee even more difficult to say the least. Life in France? It's pretty much what ever you want to make of it, is really great or it might be horrible but there are no set reasons why you wouldn't like it and be happy. The principal precaution is that you can earn your living, no small feat. In your position I think coming here is a great move. You'd stay closer to your son and your children would learn something of such immense value. Even if in a couple of years you are following your errant eldest child to Chile or wherever, the language skills and cultural skills your children will have learned will always serve them well.

well said. Its is a difficult call, what ever you do decide i wish you well. The thing with children is that one day, they will go their own way anyway. You can only give them skills, of which a language is invaluable.

Yes it is true that they will go their own way anyway, in the case of my two, (they were 12 & 15 when we moved, now 19 & 22) I feel a great sense of regret for time I can never have back. With hindsight, I wish we had waited until they were properly grown up before we made such a big life change, or done it when they were young like yours Flossyflo.

My OH has no regrets, I feel we were selfish. I suppose am suffering from empty nest syndrome!!!! something only another mother will understand! They have great life skills now, with the travelling they have done and language they have learned. Apart from wishing we were closer so that they could drop in, they are happily getting on with their own lives.

I suppose I miss being part of their lives, which I would feel even if I was in UK, but it is more intense because we live where we live, and getting together with family is just more complicated and awkward, not a natural flowing of events.

That aside, if for a moment I allow myself to feel selfish, I have no regrets from a personal point of view, we love living in Normandy, and when we are in our garden we feel it is the most peaceful place in the world, the attachment to nature feels so good for the soul.

Your situation is complicated by the differences in your children's age flossyflo. It is the older one who will feel it, the young ones will be like ducks to water I expect. Maybe he needs one more year to launch himself into an independent life before you leave.

Sorry if this sounds negative, it is an honest, but very personal viewpoint, obviously. The backdrop to it all is a lovely home and beautiful garden in an unspoilt part of France. As septimus said, I can't complain.

A family near here had one daughter who was fine about their move but the other teenager just needed that little bit of extra time to grow up and stretch her wings. She came here very unhappily at first then gradually blossomed and has felt confident enough to engage in her studies back home with a clearer idea of what she wants to do and more confidence in herself. On the job front ,another couple near here run a business in England successfuly through the internet. (It is not an internet business)

I understand all you say in regards of the empty nest issue. It is so hard to let things go, they are part of who you are. You need them to be a friend and to share your life. But i believe that you have given them so much in terms of who they are now. They will be confident and full of belief in where they can go and what they can do. This is something you and your husband should be so proud of. Timing is difficult, and we can all think of things that we would have done at a different time in our lives. But opportunities come our way and for the better (from the rest of your note) i believe.

We currently still live in the UK, having decided to allow our son to finish his education with his friends (not wanting to interrupt the balance). But then, out of the blue, in the middle of his GCSE's, work dictated we move to the South of England. His (all our) world was turned upside down anyway, but this was dicated by others. On reflection (and as my wife had wished and we came so close) we should have gone to France when we had that opportunity. But then there were other things stopping us. Its strange the road that fate takes us. But, i for one (from my life) believe that you made the right choice, that all your children will be grateful, in the fullness of time, for all you have given them.
Things will be fine

Oh you lovely moose , you have brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for your kind words.

This makes me realise that nothing is ever perfectly right, you have to do what you feel is right at the time.

You made the choice you made for the sake of your son, it is an imporant time for him, and even though ironically you have been forced to move within the UK , at least he has not had a new language to contend with as well as making new friends.

Your time will come, and I know you will be glad you waited. It will be cool for him to bring friends to visit you in France, and it will not be long before you are there.

The time though long when you are going through it, with hindsight, it is the blink of an eye, and they are such important times.