andrew phillips

Hi
Just thought I would ask the question of why people move to France.
While living in the Dordogne for Three years,I asked this question to people .
They gave the usual answers of, crime ,cost of living,employment,and hectic pace of life in England.
What I find is a contradiction,is that most of the people I have met in the Dordogne,have grown up in low crime areas,have had steady reliable employment and have lived in peacefull rural areas in England.
Unfortunately a lot of people I met, were struggling to adjust in France,because of the same reasons why they left England,no employment ,cost of living,and the hectic lifestyle of settling into France.
Can anyone answer me the question of why people, give up a steady job ,nice house,low crime area ,family & friends ,English lifestyle .puzzles me!

treskillard

Have you gone back then? I thought you were still living in the Dordogne?

sdale100

I think if anybody on here really asks themselves the question of why they came over here, they would admit that it wouldn't necessarily to be to leave something but more to find something.
Love is one of the strongest fuels we have, and pushes us to do things we don't control. Probably in 9 cases out of 10, people will admit coming over here for a love of something or someone. For me it was both.

Jazzy n Lol

I moved to Dept 53 from Wales, switching one green and picturesque area for another. The village where I lived had low crime, as does here, but I didn't live in a bubble. I watched the news every day, read the papers, travelled all over with my job and had a sleepless couple of nights when my daughter went to London with the school. The point is, the plupart of France has a low crime rate in comparison to Britain. In effect, it's like living in the UK back in the good old days, something I wanted because of my daughter.

We didn't move here because of that though. We moved here because property was cheap and we could sell off 2 houses in the UK, buy 1 here and live without having the need to slog all hours. I gave up a very highly paid job with all the trimmings. Why? Cos it sucked. Too stressful in a nutshell, after doing it for 10 years I needed a break. Now we live here like peasants, watching what we spend, being frugal. But you know what? We love it!

My family and friends are already here, they have lived in France for about 14 years now, as for Lol's family, we visit, they visit, it's enough! Also it's part of the fun making new friends.

I hope this answers your questions. Of course it's all very subjective, but that was my POV anyway

Ka Ora!

Since leaving my childhood home of Carmarthenshire many years ago, I have spent a long time trying to find somewhere that felt like home. And in France it ticks all the boxes for our family. After 6 years in Germany (To complicated) 2 Years in the States (To dramatic for me) ! year in Canada (Boring, cold) 2 Years in Spain (Nice hot) 7 years in Kent/East Sussex (To up themselves) we found home in the Midi Pyrennes here it does not matter what income you have what you do for a living people judge you for you not the petty little things in life. With every thing that has happened whilst in France i feel at home. Food is better, my children are not being encouraged to eat themselves to death. Lifestyle is more comfortable, And the weather is better we get a lot of rain but in the summer we get 35 to 40 degrees. and in the winter we get real snow.

Home is were the heart is, failing that its were you dig it.

Were half way there and half way to everywhere.

Jazzy n Lol

[Threadjack] ooh, I lived in Carmarthen itself for 9 years, which part were you from? [/Threadjack]

Ka Ora!

Well lived on Farm in Brechfa up the road from Nantgaredig out on the Abergwilli rd to Llandilo, Had a Flat in Water Street in Carmarthen 3 doors down from the best chip shop in the UK. Went to school In Queen Elizabeth Cambria when Bounce was the Deputy Head left school in 85 and left Carmarthen in 88 for a Paid vacation of the world with the Army i love to meet new people. I go back when ever i can to catch up with friends.

val50

Like Ka Ora! we've also lived in quite a few countries and really believe that home is where the heart is.
Maybe it also depends what part of France you choose to settle in. The other English expats I've met here in Normandy aren't struggling, all are happy with their choice, even if they don't have as many material things as they did back in UK. Who cares what car you drive, how big your house or TV are? The main thing is finding contentment within yourself. Until you have that, it doesn't matter where you live, you will never be happy.

Jazzy n Lol

LOL, what a small world!My kids attended the nusery on Nantgaredig hill when they were small. My son went to QE Cambria too, he's just left, I had a flat in Water St just before I got married, and enjoyed a batch n chips every thursday night! Worked in WWGH till 96 then moved back to Cardiff. Also lived in the old vicarage in Abergwili. My ex still works in the VI centre in Johnstown, and I too have many friends still there. I wonder if we share any?!

Ka Ora!

Probably i was pretty notorious and that was one of the reasons i left as well as having my heart crushed by some little hussy way back when. I did return for about a year dated a girl going to Trinity College whilst doing doing a Art A level at the Art college. I went to the Primary School in Nantgaredig.

Andrea50

Hi there

I taught a fast-moving stressful subject (computing) in a very large college in South West England for nearly 20 years. Over those years, everything changed. The job, the hours, the students, the lecturers, the management - everything. Also, things around me changed. Society, politics, people's value systems - it all seemed to be altering and I began to feel more and more uncomfortable - bit like my shoes were on the wrong feet. In England, if you have the money and play the game and say the right things to the right people (I call it "what to kiss, whose to kiss and when to kiss it") you can do very nicely thank you, so why change maybe?

But if you are a bit different, (have rather more old fashioned values, ie way of life and ethics and moral issues are more important than flash car, flash job, going to posh dinner parties and doing the "what to kiss" ballet-dance described above) and if you are not earning a lot or, even if you are, there is nothing left after essentials are paid for to enjoy any luxuries, what on earth is the point?

There's a story about a frog. If you put it in a pan of cold water and heat it up gently, it won't be aware it is in danger, it will go to sleep and die. If you chuck it in a pan of boiling water, it jumps out - and lives.

The stressed executive, driving through rush hour traffic, getting to work, going nuts, worrying about his position, his promotion, his family, his credit card statement, whether he can afford to take "the wife and kids" on that 6th holiday and what they will say if he can't, - he is that frog. He doesn't realise he could be dying, it's just what he knows and he keeps doing it cos he feels he has no choice. He can stay in that job and die of a heartattack, or he can "jump out of the hot pot", downsize the lifestyle, take it more easy, adjust his VALUE system, and go somewhere where folk are less judgmental if you choose NOT to be part of the "mine's bigger than yours" brigade.

When I went to France I admit I was an "escapee" - stressful job, no money left over for any fun, no time to have any fun even if I had had the money, a daughter I hardly saw or knew, dreadful relentless treadmill. I found I had less and less in common with my so called friends.

France was a huge step, but a real eye-opener and I loved it. I loved the people, the life-style, everything. Their attitude is "work to live" not "live to work".

In this country we have a "Hyacinth Bucket" culture - everyone continuously seems to be trying to outdo everyone else, and I simply cannot stand that. I am totally uncompetative, and umambitious, and began to realise I was like a fish out of water here. I was a distinct "social liability" as my ex called me, refusing to suck up to so-called important people at dinner parties and all that crip crap, and eventually refused to go to them at all. I refused to play the "what to kiss" game, and realised if I had not "jumped" when I did, it would not have been long before I was pushed.

So I got out. Pride intact, morals in tact, and left for a better life and I found it.

Anyone seen that dreadful ad for credit cards on TV? Some ridiculous doll-like blond kid is saying "you're sacked dad" mainly cos he isn't buying her something. Then, a boy does the same, and when sees the poor old dad buying the wretched kid what he wants, he suddenly says "your hired". For heaven's sake, that's absolutely AWFUL. ie, you can only be my parent if you buy me what I want and get in hock to the credit company to do it. We are raising a whole generation of Antichrist-like money-orientated, blackmailing Damians if we aint careful, to whom we could all become slaves. No thanks.

And by the way, the only thing I did wrong was coming back here, and I am in the process of rectifying that major bloomer!!!

Sorry for getting on high horse.

As Pastures New once said on here "Two fingers up!!" Love it!

Sante to all.

Andy

PS Question: What is the most expensive thing on some people's bills these days?

Answer: Their Image.

Hm.

andrew phillips

Thankyou for your warm,honest reply ,at last an an answer I can understand .straight from the heart .shame more people cannot be more honest about why they move to France .I decided not to make comparrisons to England when I moved to France,just embrace it for what it is ,totally different,totally out of your comfort zone,an adventure in life, also find out how strong a character of person you really are .

sdale100

:embaressed_smile:

Jazzy n Lol

I am a little piqued at this. Are you implying that the rest of us that took the trouble to reply are less than honest? If not, then I think you need to rephrase your statement. I see it as you have found someone who moved for the same reasons as you, and therefore are justifying it as the one true answer.

I hope I am wrong here, because that is disrespectful to the people who have moved here for other reasons. Besides, why would people lie about their reasons? Everybody is different and what's one man's meat is another man's poison. Please don't judge the world on your own perceptions alone.

sdale100

It's true, Andrew, even if your reply really made me feel good about what I'd written, and that it helped you to understand why I came here, Jazzy is right, your phrasing could lead for others to understand that their own honesty is not worth much. I think it took Andrea a good deal of guts to get that off her chest too (and a good 10 minutes typing lol).
Respect where respect's due.