Cold calls, or "la pub"
#1
Lost in BE Cyberspace










Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Hérault (34)
Posts: 8,709












How do you deal with these, apart from acquiring a telephone with number display which works? (mine doesn't), or going Ex-Directory? Apparently the Bloctel is limited.
All my friends and family know that I never answer the land-line telephone, because I'm inundated with cold calls. A bona fide professional or acquaintance not in the know will leave a message and I can ring back.
This worked for a while, but the problem now is that, if I don't answer, the computers try again a few minutes later. The "Annuaire Inversé" of the Pages Jaunes always indicates that they are unable to divulge the caller's name, which confirms that all those numbers were "pub".
So, for a laugh, with the complicity of my daughters who are here at the moment, I now reply, briskly announcing "Consular Services, can I help you?". This usually shuts the human callers up and their computers mark me as having answered = fewer cold calls.... I might try "Bert's Fish & Chip van" to make a change, but draw the line at one daughter's suggestion of "Banque de sperme, bonjour!", since the caller might just be interested....
Any other suggestions will be welcome,...
All my friends and family know that I never answer the land-line telephone, because I'm inundated with cold calls. A bona fide professional or acquaintance not in the know will leave a message and I can ring back.
This worked for a while, but the problem now is that, if I don't answer, the computers try again a few minutes later. The "Annuaire Inversé" of the Pages Jaunes always indicates that they are unable to divulge the caller's name, which confirms that all those numbers were "pub".
So, for a laugh, with the complicity of my daughters who are here at the moment, I now reply, briskly announcing "Consular Services, can I help you?". This usually shuts the human callers up and their computers mark me as having answered = fewer cold calls.... I might try "Bert's Fish & Chip van" to make a change, but draw the line at one daughter's suggestion of "Banque de sperme, bonjour!", since the caller might just be interested....

Any other suggestions will be welcome,...

#2

Love it! 
How's about, "Bonjour, Gendarmerie de St Tropez! Adjudant-chef de Funes a votre service. Comment puis-je vous aider?
Or if a more serious message required:
"Bonjour, gendarmerie de (votre ville). C'est a propos de quoi?"

How's about, "Bonjour, Gendarmerie de St Tropez! Adjudant-chef de Funes a votre service. Comment puis-je vous aider?

Or if a more serious message required:
"Bonjour, gendarmerie de (votre ville). C'est a propos de quoi?"

#5

We returned to the UK several years ago and our ansafone had around 40 computer generated messages and not a single human.
I bought special phones which screen all calls. If the number is in your address book then it arrives as normal.
If not, the caller has to announce themselves and you can choose to answer or not or sent then to ansafone.
All international calls are screened.
This is entirely separate from the BT screening service.
This has reduced our junk calls to zero.
I do not know if such a system is available in France.
I bought special phones which screen all calls. If the number is in your address book then it arrives as normal.
If not, the caller has to announce themselves and you can choose to answer or not or sent then to ansafone.
All international calls are screened.
This is entirely separate from the BT screening service.
This has reduced our junk calls to zero.
I do not know if such a system is available in France.

#7

I normally reply ''Ce ne sont pas vos affaires'' since usually they start with a question.
After 15 times doing that, the calls might stop for 1 week but then I'm back on their list.
I can get up to 10 calls a day !
Ps I did once answer my bank with that line ...
After 15 times doing that, the calls might stop for 1 week but then I'm back on their list.
I can get up to 10 calls a day !
Ps I did once answer my bank with that line ...


#8


I haven't (yet

In the last few years in CH the land-line would ring 5-6-7 times a day; OH would answer, it would more than likely be one of these 'Indian' sounding people offering assistance to resolve her 'problem with her Windows computer'.
OH would pass me the 'phone, and putting on my best (ahem) Indian accent, I would politely enquire as to the purpose of the call, then cut them off half-way through the blah with 'but we are on bloody Linux, what is the matter with you bloody support people, why haven't you updated your bloody database to reflect these bloody important upgrades?'
Clunk....
*** My bank masks their outgoing numbers by default.
Oops.


#9
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Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Hérault (34)
Posts: 8,709












(DD1 would reply "Banque de Sperme", or anything else in French, if I'd let her, as she's got a French accent...)

#10
Lost in BE Cyberspace










Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2008
Location: Hérault (34)
Posts: 8,709












We returned to the UK several years ago and our ansafone had around 40 computer generated messages and not a single human.
I bought special phones which screen all calls. If the number is in your address book then it arrives as normal.
If not, the caller has to announce themselves and you can choose to answer or not or sent then to ansafone.
All international calls are screened.
This is entirely separate from the BT screening service.
This has reduced our junk calls to zero.
I do not know if such a system is available in France.
I bought special phones which screen all calls. If the number is in your address book then it arrives as normal.
If not, the caller has to announce themselves and you can choose to answer or not or sent then to ansafone.
All international calls are screened.
This is entirely separate from the BT screening service.
This has reduced our junk calls to zero.
I do not know if such a system is available in France.
