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Cold calls, or "la pub"

Cold calls, or "la pub"

Old Aug 5th 2019, 1:41 pm
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Default Cold calls, or "la pub"

How do you deal with these, apart from acquiring a telephone with number display which works? (mine doesn't), or going Ex-Directory? Apparently the Bloctel is limited.
All my friends and family know that I never answer the land-line telephone, because I'm inundated with cold calls. A bona fide professional or acquaintance not in the know will leave a message and I can ring back.
This worked for a while, but the problem now is that, if I don't answer, the computers try again a few minutes later. The "Annuaire Inversé" of the Pages Jaunes always indicates that they are unable to divulge the caller's name, which confirms that all those numbers were "pub".
So, for a laugh, with the complicity of my daughters who are here at the moment, I now reply, briskly announcing "Consular Services, can I help you?". This usually shuts the human callers up and their computers mark me as having answered = fewer cold calls.... I might try "Bert's Fish & Chip van" to make a change, but draw the line at one daughter's suggestion of "Banque de sperme, bonjour!", since the caller might just be interested....
Any other suggestions will be welcome,...
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Old Aug 5th 2019, 4:21 pm
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

Love it!
How's about, "Bonjour, Gendarmerie de St Tropez! Adjudant-chef de Funes a votre service. Comment puis-je vous aider?
Or if a more serious message required:
"Bonjour, gendarmerie de (votre ville). C'est a propos de quoi?"

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Old Aug 5th 2019, 4:22 pm
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

In the UK, I used to answer "mortuary" which worked a treat.
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Old Aug 5th 2019, 4:23 pm
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

Originally Posted by cyrian View Post
In the UK, I used to answer "mortuary" which worked a treat.
Nah, I tried that. The line used to go dead.

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Old Aug 5th 2019, 4:26 pm
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

We returned to the UK several years ago and our ansafone had around 40 computer generated messages and not a single human.
I bought special phones which screen all calls. If the number is in your address book then it arrives as normal.
If not, the caller has to announce themselves and you can choose to answer or not or sent then to ansafone.
All international calls are screened.
This is entirely separate from the BT screening service.
This has reduced our junk calls to zero.
I do not know if such a system is available in France.
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Old Aug 5th 2019, 4:28 pm
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe View Post
Nah, I tried that. The line used to go dead.
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Old Aug 5th 2019, 5:41 pm
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

I normally reply ''Ce ne sont pas vos affaires'' since usually they start with a question.
After 15 times doing that, the calls might stop for 1 week but then I'm back on their list.
I can get up to 10 calls a day !

Ps I did once answer my bank with that line ...
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Old Aug 5th 2019, 6:53 pm
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

all comments on this.

I haven't (yet ) hit this here in BE but back in CH it was a real pain. I don't do landlines, but appreciate the need. I share email addresses and a mobile number for 'those who need to know.' ***

In the last few years in CH the land-line would ring 5-6-7 times a day; OH would answer, it would more than likely be one of these 'Indian' sounding people offering assistance to resolve her 'problem with her Windows computer'.

OH would pass me the 'phone, and putting on my best (ahem) Indian accent, I would politely enquire as to the purpose of the call, then cut them off half-way through the blah with 'but we are on bloody Linux, what is the matter with you bloody support people, why haven't you updated your bloody database to reflect these bloody important upgrades?'

Clunk....

*** My bank masks their outgoing numbers by default.

Oops.
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Old Aug 5th 2019, 10:07 pm
  #9  
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe View Post
Love it!
How's about, "Bonjour, Gendarmerie de St Tropez! Adjudant-chef de Funes a votre service. Comment puis-je vous aider?
Or if a more serious message required:
"Bonjour, gendarmerie de (votre ville). C'est a propos de quoi?"
Can't do anything in French, my accent would give me away...
(DD1 would reply "Banque de Sperme", or anything else in French, if I'd let her, as she's got a French accent...)
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Old Aug 5th 2019, 10:09 pm
  #10  
dmu
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Default Re: Cold calls, or "la pub"

Originally Posted by cyrian View Post
We returned to the UK several years ago and our ansafone had around 40 computer generated messages and not a single human.
I bought special phones which screen all calls. If the number is in your address book then it arrives as normal.
If not, the caller has to announce themselves and you can choose to answer or not or sent then to ansafone.
All international calls are screened.
This is entirely separate from the BT screening service.
This has reduced our junk calls to zero.
I do not know if such a system is available in France.
I've not heard of such a system, but I'll try to find out!
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