eclaire

Hi, I moved to the Correze in June with my husband and 2 year old little boy and have been suffering on and off with terrible homesickness.

I am ok for a few weeks then get hit so badly i just cry for days. It is beautiful here and we moved out for a better family life with our little boy. My French isn't great at the moment which i'm working on, but i feel like i really need friends. I miss my sisters and mum back in the UK for coffees lunches etc, and somtimes feel like i want to move back, which i know is ridiculous after 3 months.

I would like to hear from any of you who have suffered homesickness, how long it lasted and whether or not you are happy living here now?

val50

Hi there, well you've come to the right place and will find lots of friends here.
oh how I feel for you. Just remember it's normal to be homesick but it should pass. The nice thing about living in France is that you can get back to UK fairly easy. Is there any chance you could pop back and see your family for a few days, or better still, have them come to see you?
What does your OH do? Is he around much or out all day working? If so, can he get home for lunch? Does he know how you feel? Are there any mother and toddler groups near by? Ask at your local Mairie or tourist office. As hard as it might be to get out and meet people at the moment, that is something that will help you. Go for a walk! The weather is still nice and doing something physical really helps.
It's not easy emigrating, what ever the reasons for doing it, and I think the first 2 years are always the worst. Try and break it up into manageable time frames. 3 months to Christmas (what are you going to do over the holidays, where will you be etc). 3 months to Easter (more holidays!!!) Then it's not long to summer - can you book a holiday? See, it's not so bad if you break the time up into smaller pieces. Allow yourself to be sad and have a good cry, but just for 30 mins a day. Your little one will pick up on your moods too remember. Start a journal - write down how you feel every day. Might become a best seller too! A how to cope book for mother's with toddlers moving to France.
We've lived in 8 countires in the last 28 years and each move was difficult in it's own way. Even though we haven't lived in UK all that time, I still have days when I miss certain things, mainly family, especially now we are all getting older
Remember, there is nothing wrong in feeling the way you do but you have to find ways to cope with it. If you leave it, things will only get worse.
When my OH was offered a transfer to Canada from France 2 years ago I went with him. You'd think living somewhere where they spoke English would make life easier but I have never been so homesick in my life as I was then for France - and I'm not French Thankfully our children were older and we kept our house in France so I could go back, but it was still a shock to the system. I couldn't understand why I couldn't cope - I'd done it so many times in the past - even lived in the middle of a desert for 3 years with few problems Now 2 years later I look back on that time and can't believe I survived it, but you do. It will change you, but for the better.
Val

Kida

Hello there

Sorry to read you are feeling this way, though i'm in the same boat with you.
I haven't been here for a long period of time to tell when it goes away, but they say it does. I can tell you what helps me to live with this.
Fisrt as it was mentioned before -plan regular trips home and you'll see
it's much easier to live when you know the date.
I skype my mom almost every day-just to get a feeling that we live in the same city.
Being outdoors helps a lot.I bought roller blades and now roll every now and then, it occupies u and it's nice to see the progress you r making.So maybe you can find smth like that , smth that will make you feel better.

And also if you feel really down maybe try St John's Wort, it's herb based and you can get it without prescription.

Good luck, chin up.

dreamcatcher

Cant really add anymore than has been said.If you feel down jump over here,and there should be someone to natter too.Chin up there are some great people on here.xxxxx

eclaire

It's nice to know that there are actually other people who feel or have felt the same....it's sometimes such a lonely feeling and i think unless you have experienced it personally, it's hard to understand.

In answer to your question Val, my husband works 5 days a week as a carpenter, so i'm on my own a lot at the moment with our little boy (he does keep me very busy most of the time though). I asked my neighbour down the road the other week about playgroups etc, and she kindly rang a place she thought may be a playgroup but it's actually a nursery. I wanted somewhere where i could meet other mums and sit and have a brew like i would have done at playgroup in the UK but it seems there's not much at all for mothers and children in the Correze.

We are going back to the UK this weekend just for 3 days to a family do, then myself and little boy are going back for 2 weeks at the start of December. We also have lots of visits coming up in the next month from family, so i'm looking forward to that.

it's great to chat to other people who have felt the same though, so thank you all for your kind and encouraging words, i really appreciate it.

E

artemis

Eclaire, just to say hi and I am sorry to hear about you feeling like this. If you ever feel like it just log on here and we will try to make you laugh I am trying to think of what you could do, but I see Val has given you lots of help. Would your other half be able to text you or ring you a few times day cos that would help. Also I know that Val advises people to visit their marie where you may find groups consisting of Brits that you could join. Please keep posting away ........ I don't mind at all. I don't live there yet, but we are hoping to ...... so I would love to know about the weather (sorry folks I know it seems to be all that I am interested in about living in France). P.S. I AGREE WITH VAL JUST GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE AND HAVING A WALK IN THE COUNTRYSIDE REALLY DOES LIFT THE SPIRITS AND I AM A SEASONED RAMBLER SO I SHOULD KNOW.

dreamcatcher

Hi there, Artimis weather report for you, get your sunglasses on fabulous today



Eclaire, hope you feeling bit better



Vals a mine of info,I think she is practising flying as we speak

Stay

Hi elcaire
Bless you I have been here now in Tarn for just over 1 year, and yes there are things I miss about England family, good friends, M&S but soon goes each time I step out my front door and see the environment and nature we are living in ...stunning
.......... go into my village where the people are so friendly and patient with my very unperfect french and yes we have great conversations with lots of laughter of course using hands, feet, dictionaries, and any other props I can get my hands on!......although speaking the same language I never got this back in England, neighbours I had just wanting to know where I got things, how much I paid, knew more about my life then I did!!! etc etc...........

Even now I still walk around bewildered by everything at times overloaded with concentration and information and of course everything is a challenge!! even the simplest of things, well to be honest no change there for me, no matter what country or place Iam in

but Iam proud of myself that I have ordered wood, changed two tyres on the car, shown a french family who have just moved into our area the amenities our village have...very funny!!! Iam even going to have a stall in our village christmas expo just a few bits of my travels here!!!! all without speaking perfect french so please do not be harsh on yourself, I love the phase "learning by doing"...... also it does make it lonely at times for me and our daughter with my husband working in England now and again,...... and yes I still have pangs and wishings of all sorts ..........
but the best thing of all we have done.... is what we have done, which is moving here and we will not have to say, many years down the line " If Only"

who knows whats in the next chapter of mine and yours life's rich journey.........eclaire try although hard at times, not to look at what you have achieved as a big picture its too daunting.... try to look a things this is whats happening now and try to enjoy it especially with your beautiful little boy, what special times you have together and when and if he sleeps in the afternoon hahaha theres time you can give to yourself, find things that you might of wanted to take up!!!

I have also learnt to say never say never......who knows if we stay or return but Iam going to try and have a flippin good time whilst Iam here, learn something about myself and the language (was crap at school), reading all the books I have had to put aside whilst living in England and much more, also learnt more about the computor!!! ....also we will never have to wonder " what it would of been like if we had move to france" like many of my friends who cannot jump in with both feet to do this!!!!

Also I see more of my family and friends that come out!!! funny that!!

...... is there any chance that maybe you could find other mums and perhaps start something like a coffee meeting morning!!

........sooooo sorry to ramble on,

Best wishes to you
take care

eclaire

i always make sure i get out for a walk each day with the pram and dog...we walk 5Km every day (great for keepin thin!)...little boy loves it and talks all the way around asking things like "what's grass in French"! (i then have to go home and look it up in the dictionary to tell him!!)

I certainly know what you mean when you say everything is hard work....especially if you have to talk in French on the phone, to me that's the most daunting thing. Things that are so simple in UK sometimes seem impossible here. I am trying to look forwards all the time instead of looking back and wishing i'd stayed. We moved here as we had lots of problems with teenage hoodies, setting the wheelie bins on fire, banging on the door and running off, peeing up the side of the house and generally being pains in the ar*es :curse: . This is paradise compared with that but nothing anywhere is ever perfect.

It must be such an unnatural thing to do to move away from loved ones don't you think?? it actually pains me when i think about it too much... does that sound daft?

Chris'nJulie

We moved to Correze in March, and personally I haven't looked back (despite my mother having died in June, and me returning to the UK for the funeral).

Julie, however, suffers bouts of homesickness (although she doesn't always say so!) mainly because she has a daughter and grandchildren in the UK. They have been to see us, and she is going to see THEM for a fortnight in October. I am sure that after two weeks she will be pleased to come back to France!

We made the decision to move for a variety of reasons, and those reasons are still there, and even stronger now (i.e. less crime, better health care, safer streets, friendlier and more pleasant inhabitants etc., etc...). You have to consider WHY you moved and ask yourself if the reasons are slowly being fulfilled. If you feel that despite all your efforts you have made NO progress, then that is the time to reassess - give it a chance.

Yes, it's a completely different way of life, but you don't have to give up everything you did back home - we still try to live the same domestic life where possible, but with the added challenge of trying to learn French. I have to say that our social life (which was never that busy) is far more active now, though I do appreciate the semi-isolation sometimes.

As you say, the area is beautiful (all the year round, although we have yet to experience our first winter), and you just have to adjust to the environment. Relations are at the end of a telephone line (or internet connection), and you have probably brought a lot of home comforts (like Sky, etc.) to help you keep in touch.

Don't even THINK of giving up so soon. This is a great country, and the Correze in particular is a lovely place to live. Above all, try and keep occupied if you can and perhaps make new friends (whether French or ex-pats). We consciously picked this area bearing in mind the population is low. We didn't want to live in a British ghetto, but we are glad that there are a number of ex-pats around (and also Dutch and American), and many of them have been really helpful - so we keep in touch. You don't have to be in each other's pockets, but it is good to have contacts who share similar backgrounds.

Don't give up - enjoy!!

Chris

Stay

Hi eclaire
No it does not sound daft, if we could of been left alone, perhaps we might not of moved away?? I was stalked by a nutter of a neighbour, cannot go into too much detail, but some of what he done......daughter hit by him the police would not press charges!!, property vandalised by him, our new car carved up by him, but no go with the police due to him being protected by them!!!!?? There is no protection there for the victims. So yes we still feel victimised because what we have left behind......BUT what we have gained is freedom, peace, no neighbours in spitting distance, sleeping at nights, no more stomach churning, space, a car that is safe, being able to sit out in the garden and talk, laugh, read, sleep with out some twat watching or placing their cctv camera our way!!! yes it has been known to perv!!!?? If it does decide to track us down it has further to come and across water, if we had moved somewhere else in England we would be still looking behind our backs.

Living here with the challenges is far less in what we were living through there, and again England is only a couple of hours away to see family and friends, it takes me less time to visit them there then it was for me to travel from Hampshire up to Manchester!!!?? and cost less!!!

We will probably eventually move back in years to come but for now Iam treating this as a healing time........................

keep your chin up eclaire and of course I too have tears and feel crap for a few days, it such a emotional roller coaster then I think, pick meself up and dust meself off and get on with it!!!
and of course ........................whilst eating chocolate....needs must!!!

take care x

Stay

hi guys what a lovely positive reply .......... x

eclaire

arrr... they are all really positive replies, so thank you all for that.

Stay...it sounds like you had a nightmare so much worse than what we suffered in the uk... we had a nutter neighbour aswell though who poured paint all over the jeep and another time all over the front door! True, if things had have been better over there we may have stayed. My husband also fancied the west coast of Scotland, and although it's very beautiful i would have still felt a bit isolated, property was so cheap here and my husband's brother, wife and kids live in Normandy and love it, so that's why we opted for France.

Chris, i'm sorry about your mum, it must be awful for you. I did read one of your replies to someone else and i actually think you may be fairly near us...we live between Argentat and Tulle up in the hills also. If you are close by (in France that could be a 100 mile radius!!) and your wife wouldn't mind, i would like to maybe meet up and have a chat with her one day.

Anyway, i'd better get on with some housework. By the way does anyone learn French with Michel Thomas? he's a genious!

Speak soon X

Chris'nJulie

Hi Eclaire

I'm the 'Julie' part of Chris'nJulie ! Chris responded to your posting. I know exactly how you feel about settling in here - it would be good to have a chat and fortunately, we do indeed live quite close to you - we're about 8km from Argentat and about 20km from Tulle. Why don't you send me a PM and we can get in touch. Look forward to hearing from you.

Best wishes
Julie

eclaire

Hi..

Julie...i have sent you a private message.

Just wanted to let you all know i've had a good day today... Have spoken in French to everyone i've met today and feel really good about it. I had a bad day yesterday (as you probably all guessed!) ...very silly really but went to the supermarket and my little boy H lost a knitted doll that was given him by his grandma when he was first born. I was really upset about it and rang the supermarket to ask them the phone me if they found it. Anyway i got a phone call today (all in French....very proud!!) to say it had been found. Are you all asleep yet??

anyway the moral of this story ... (i'm not actually sure what it is to be honest).. anyway just to say thanks to you all again, i will be logging onto this forum regulary from now on, it's a great help.