just_the_two_of_us

We are a young couple who have recently moved from the UK to one of the smaller towns in Malaysia. We are a few hours away from any of the big cities. My wife is Malaysian but we have spent the last 5-6 years living in the Uk and so she doesn't really know anyone and her family lives a distance away. We have started a business here and after having been here for about 6 months, we have realised that it is terribly depressing. There are next to no expats in our town, the ones that are here just seem not to want to know you. We are getting progressively down about the social situation here. We have tried to get out and about, and also, tried driving to places like KL just to meet people and that has proven to be difficult because of the distance and work commitments. We just would like to know if there is anybody else who feels likewise?
Cheer us up please!!!

Englishmum

I can just imagine how down in the dumps you are feeling. Is is imperative that you stay in your small town or could you possibly move to a larger town or even KL? Are you located near the Cameron Highlands for instance? I can only think of expat/social organisations in KL itself on peninsular Malaysia.

When we lived in Singapore I was a volunteer in the offices of ANZA - the 'Australian & New Zealand Association' and their social events were great fun, much more so than the events organised by the British Association which tended to be more sedate LOL! There is MANZA based in KL - the 'Malaysian Australian & New Zealand Association'...and it's open to *everyone* including locals. You may not be able to get to all their events but they often have something going on at the weekends....you might even want to go to one of their Christmas Balls or to the 'Melbourne Cup Night' which is an absolute hoot:

http://www.manza.org

There is a 'ladies' section of the British Association which your wife might want to check out (they would welcome Malaysian ladies married to Brits):

http://www.abwm.com.my/ (also see the 'links' page for the St. George's Society/St. Patrick's Society etc.)

As you are running a business, perhaps the British Malaysian Chamber of Commerce may be of interest to you:

http://www.bmcc.org.my/index.php?opt...tpage&Itemid=1

Good Luck and hope this helps

just_the_two_of_us

Hi there! Thanks for the reply. We live in Ipoh - which is really neither here nor there! It doesn't seem possible for us to move as yet. Thank you for suggesting we join MANZA. We didn't even know that it was an option! Thanks so much for your help. We are feeling pretty low at the moment and appreciate all advice on how to cope!!

andjfisher

Don't know how much I can offer to cheer you up. I am in KL and I find it quite hard to meet ppl here myself. I have heard of MANZA and was going to go to a function but got food poisoning...typical. I was searching for a melb cup function when I found this post and thought I should say hello. PLease feel free to email me if you are coming to KL and want to get together for a drink/food. Unfortunately work will not let me get out of the city but next time you are coming to town feel free to email me. I am here alone and my gf and young daughter are at home in aus. I have been here two months and I have one month to go but I am usually here on and off a bit with work so I would love to meet some ppl here. I appreciate anything to take my mind off missing the family so I would love to meet you.

Also unfortunately I am australian (not british) but if you can live with that then look me up.....

andrew.

perthukcharlie

Hi there
Im from the uk but now live in perth australia and not happy here i have been to the far east so many times and wanted to stay there i would love to come out and run a bar for a few years it would make me wake up to the world again the people are so nice over that way you should try living in birmingham uk or perth aust when you are so far away from anywhere so if you know any bars that need looking after let me know and we will come and stay charlie and alissa

OriginalSunshine

what kind of business do you run? I wonder why you chose Ipoh as a base?

but you are going to have a tough time - bigoted expats will look down on you because they think you have married an SPG and the bigoted locals will look down on your wife because they think she is an SPG.

(SPG = sarong party girl - look it up on Google).

There are a lot of idiots in the world.

KL itself is a hard place to meet people as well because it is a big city. Most expats meet their friends at work, or through sports clubs - that's gonna be hard in Ipoh.

If you are serious about staying in Malaysia, I would reconsider your location.

OriginalSunshine

charlie - unless one of you is Malaysian, or you have an employer willing to sponsor you (eg a hotel) and you have a lot of work experience, or you are able to outright buy a pub, you dont stand a hope's chance in hell of running a bar for someone. sorry, but them's the breaks out here.

just_the_two_of_us

Hey Andrew,

Have sent u a PM.

just_the_two_of_us

Unfortunately, we don't know of any bars... . What Original Sunshine says is right though...it is very difficult to get a work permit over here unless you come on one of these - Malaysia my Second Home Schemes and even then I'm not sure if u can work. As a foreigner u have to be hired by a Malaysian company for work permits etc...Sorry Mate - What was the reason for the move to Perth, if I may ask?

just_the_two_of_us

We're healthcare professionals. We do get plenty of stares being a mixed race couple and I guess we were prepared for it to a certain extent but it can be very irritating. Luckily we are both in our twenties and so the stereotypical view of the much older (50's / 60's ) caucasion man with the young twenty-something SPG (Yes - my wife did explain that one to me ! ) Asian girl doesn't quite fit us. However, people are still judgemental and there is really nothing I can do about it! They are idiots - I'd have to agree! My wife and I met in the UK in university and spent many years over there before coming over.

We're not sure if Malaysia is for us in the long run! It has been very difficult to mix with the expats living in Ipoh itself.

Yorkieabroad

Have you thought of Singapore - I have no idea what sort of healthcare profesisonals you are, but we had a couple of "trailing spouse" friends who were medically qualified in their home countries and ended up getting medical jobs in Singapore.

- close to Malaysia
- lot of expats and Malaysians, so perhaps more chance to develop a social life that both of you can fit into without "judgement"
- maybe a chance to get a medical job, but not sure on visa sitn
But of course its a LOT more expensive than Malaysia....

Singapore may be easier to settle in as a mixed couple than small(ish) town Malaysia - we were there as a mixed couple (Cauc/Chinese) and had very few problems (although it is the only place I've ever been in a fight because of my wife....some young, drunk locals causing trouble).

Anyway, just a thought - must be hard to feel trapped somewhere you don't fit in. I feel for you!

just_the_two_of_us

[QUOTE=Yorkieabroad]Have you thought of Singapore - I have no idea what sort of healthcare profesisonals you are, but we had a couple of "trailing spouse" friends who were medically qualified in their home countries and ended up getting medical jobs in Singapore.

- close to Malaysia
- lot of expats and Malaysians, so perhaps more chance to develop a social life that both of you can fit into without "judgement"
- maybe a chance to get a medical job, but not sure on visa sitn
But of course its a LOT more expensive than Malaysia....

Singapore may be easier to settle in as a mixed couple than small(ish) town Malaysia - we were there as a mixed couple (Cauc/Chinese) and had very few problems (although it is the only place I've ever been in a fight because of my wife....some young, drunk locals causing trouble). ]


Singapore was a definate consideration and it might be on the cards in a few years. My wife is from Johor Bahru (bordering Singapore) originally and we do try and do a couple of weekends there wherever possible. The 'stare' factor is much less and there are so many expats and so it feels so comfortable. No fights as yet (luckily) but there are some nasty comments made in Malay about us being mixed race (Cauc/Indian) and the whole SPG nonsense, that she can understand and so it does get ones temper flaring! Were u in Singapore for long?

just_the_two_of_us

[QUOTE=just_the_two_of_us]
Singapore was a definate consideration and it might be on the cards in a few years. My wife is from Johor Bahru (bordering Singapore) originally and we do try and do a couple of weekends there wherever possible. The 'stare' factor is much less and there are so many expats and so it feels so comfortable. No fights as yet (luckily) but there are some nasty comments made in Malay about us being mixed race (Cauc/Indian) that she can understand and the whole SPG nonsense, and so it does get ones temper flaring! Were u in Singapore for long?

Yorkieabroad

[QUOTE=just_the_two_of_us] We were there 7 years, left in 2002. I met my wife there, she's chinese so everyone assumes she's singaporean, but in actual fact she's a US citizen, and was on posting there from her company. We worked in the same industry, not the same company, but she was well known in my company - when we first started dating, I got a lot of comments from the older Singaporean guys about not messing around with her, making sure I treated her right etc etc. I guess they assumed I was just after a "bit of local" while I was there. When we got engaged, the comments slowed, but didn't stop. When we got married, there were still the odd ones. When we started a family they finally stopped!!

just_the_two_of_us

[QUOTE=Yorkieabroad] Yes, we too have heard having kids stops all the comments!! We should get moving!!