Seham

I really need any advice that is out there, Please. I am so hurt and so torn that I just don't know what to do.

I have raised my grandchild since he was just a baby. I have had custody of him for over a year and a half now under SRS. The courts are telling me that if I bring my Foreign Fiance over then I will not be allowed to adopt my grandson or get Legal Permanent Guardianship because then they would not be able to do a back ground check for security on my Fiance since he is from another country. He has resided in three countries and they said they would need to check all three of these. He is Muslim and originally from Morocco. They have already labeled him as a terrorist and didn't hesitate to tell it to my face.

I told the courts that he has to have official papers and documents to be able to come over in the first place and asked them if this would work. You know what they asked me?????? How will they know if those papers would be official or not?

This is the most recent letter from my lawyer:

"The Assistant County Attorney informs me that if the parents’ rights are terminated, the case goes to Kansas Children’s Service League (KCSL), the state adoption contractor. KCSL will then decide who should adopt Dawson. You would definitely be considered as an adoptive resource, because your grandson lives with you, has made a lot of progress with you, and you are family. There is, however, no guarantee that KCSL would choose you as the adoptive resource. KCSL has a pool of families who want to adopt children, and they can consider persons from this pool as adoptive resources for Dawson.

If not for your impending marriage to your Fiance, I would say that you would probably be chosen as the adoptive resource for Dawson. In the event that KCSL does not choose you as the adoptive resource, you would have to go back in front of the County judge and fight the decision.

Complicating this process is your marriage to your Fiance. KCSL must do a homestudy on all potential adoptive parents, and part of this is a background check. KCSL is required to determine if a potential adoptive parent has a criminal record or is on a child abuse registry. If KCSL cannot access your Fiance's records in Morocco, Russia, Italy and where ever else he has resided, then you could well be rejected as an adoptive resource.

If you decide that what you want to do is to adopt Dawson, then you probably need to call off the marriage to your fiance. You would have to withdraw from the immigration process as well. When your adoption of your grandson is final, you could revisit the matter. Once again, however, if you are still in the immigration process when KCSL does the home study, they may well require that a background check (of their choice) be done on your fiance and if they cannot do it, there is a very good possibility that they may remove you from consideration as an adoptive parent.

I understand that this is a difficult choice, and that it does not seem fair to you that you have to make this choice. The fact remains, however, that Dawson has been abused, and brought into the child in need of care system, and that the system functions this way. If you marry your fiance you may not be able to adopt Dawson."

This makes me soooooo sick to my stomach every time that I read it. If I get Permanent Legal Guardianship in which they are willing to give me in the upcoming court case and I bring my Fiance over, they said they can take My Grandson from me anytime. If I fight for Adoption, in which will also be a veryyyyy lengthy process, I still may not get him if I stay involved with my Fiance.

I have been divorced for over 18 years now. I am 42 and I have raised three children on my own. My youngest one went off to college the same summer that I got my grandson. I had sooo many plans and one was to be with my Fiance. I have waited and sacrificed my life for so long for my children and now the Courts are asking me to do it again when I feel I shouldn't have to.

Please, I don't know what to do. I am hurting soooo deeply being away from my Fiance as it is, but I do love my Grandson so very much.

This makes me soooooo sick to my stomach every time that I read it. If I get Permanent Legal Guardianship in which they are willing to give me in the upcoming court case and I bring my Fiance over, they said they can take My Grandson from me anytime. If I fight for Adoption, in which will also be a veryyyyy lengthy process, I still may not get him if I stay involved with my Fiance.

Please, anyone, I am so overwhelmed and so lost. I just don't know what to do and I just don't understand why my lawyer will not get off of his stinkin butt and support me by getting this information in which is needed to back me up in court. Maybe it is because he is from a free legal service. I really can not afford to pay the pretty fees that other lawyers ask for.

My grandson and My Fiance are the two most important people in my life and if I lost either one, my life would be so incomplete. I love them both so much.

Thanks everyone for your replies and I will take into consideration every thought that is written.

sibsie

You're living in the US and this is the Europe section. You might get responses if you post it in the relevant forum.

Seham

Thanks Sibsie, first time on here.

Have a great day!

jdr

Why are the yanks sooooo sweet.

I wish you luck and hope you get it sorted soon.

Seham

Thanks jdr for your wishes. Just wish I would run across someone with a magic wand because these people sure know how to run a person down.

Thanks for the response! Take care.

Seham