vickysteve

Well it time to make some decisions, I have been living in Canada 4 years this Jan. It was great to start we came out as a family me my wife and my son. Now I sit here in my house alone my wife left me and my son has returned to the UK to enroll in the RAF. So what do I do, do I stay in Canada where I have few friends and no family here or do I sell everything and return to the UK to be near my dad and start from scratch. The wife left me with here car which she was paying for now I am paying it, I have a new house in Calgary which the wife decorated and was really looking forward to living in she lived in it 3 months. I just cannot decide what to do, if I go back to the UK, I will have to live with my dad to start with until I find a job and get myself settled and get some money behind me,or do I stay here in Calgary where I have a house and a job,carry on my life on my own and try and make friends. Any advise

Wub

So sorry to hear of the tough time you're going through. For what its worth, I think I'd be inclined to not make any hard decisions just yet.

Give yourself six months to a year and then make a decision. It all sounds just a bit too raw right now. You need to heal and you need to make a list! Pro's and cons of what's positive/negative where you are and the same for where you think you want to be.

All the best.

ldyinlv

Stay there, when you are ready, and feel like it start dating, you may meet Miss right, and live happily ever after!!!..

quoll

Where do you see yourself in 5 years, 10 years? If there is an inkling that you would rather be growing old in UK then go now, dont bother with trying to make the new future but go to where your future can be comfortable and where you dont have to work so hard to get established.

I am sorry things went pear shaped for you, that must have been a real blow but now you need to look after yourself and go after what you want in life

Victor Meldrew

Firstly, sorry to hear of your predicament. This kind of situation is difficult to resolve when you are at home, even worse when you are in a different country.

Secondly,none of us can tell you exactly what to do as each individual might need to respond in different ways. Only you will know what is eventually right for you.

I think a mixture of all of these pieces of advice might be considered.

I certainly think a cooling off/reflective period is advisable as, if you do decide to come back to UK you need to be as certain as possible that this is the correct decision.

The 'visualisation' idea is also useful. Putting yourself where you want/expect to be in 5/10 years time is usually a good indication of what you need to do now.

With regards to meeting 'Mrs Right', if that happens it will happen. However, if you end up meeting Mrs Right in Canada, then realise you really want to be in UK, you could end up with potential problems and conflicts again.

I would say, sort your own needs out first, and then if it is appropriate make yourself open to another relations hip once you feel you are in the right 'place' in every sense of the word.

Good luck

Beedubya

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.

I would say get into your FEELINGS. Where do you FEEL you belong and where do you FEEL happiest?

You are probably feeling understandably raw and lost right now as has been pointed out, but if things in general are OK in Canada, then stay there and lick your wounds and your life will go on - not in quite the same way as you envisaged it but you will be OK one day, however if this is the straw that broke the camels back and you cannot ever see yourself as living there for the rest of your life then you need to go home.

Listen to your gut.............

Mummy in the foothills

How did you feel about Canada before the split? If you were happy with the lifestyle, then you may be happy with life there again. Or if you were on the fence you have a great opportunity to change everything to how you want it without having to compromise for a partner or children.
I'd give it time and lots of thought, make lists and you will finally come up with what is right for you.