Three Years Today!

Old Jun 8th 2010, 4:41 am
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Default Three Years Today!

Ok, mixed bag here. Not all farting rainbows, not all lows. Just as I say, a mixed bag....husband and kids have been happy, I personally have struggled throughout the three years for various reasons.

Where we are
We live in a city in Southern Alberta with 80,000 people, a uni a college and a real bible belt feel to it. The bonus of this is that it's family focused, the minus point is that I'm used to and love a city feel/ large town.

OH
My OH works away as a helicopter pilot, he's loved his work dearly and has been kept on in his position when lots of other pilots have been let go by his company. At the moment, he's out east about to go and do diamond work, not bad eh? The recession had a massive effect on us financially here, but that's starting to change. However, he's not in Iraq or Afghanistan like he would be if we had stayed in the UK.

Kids
Kids have had a school experience that have been excellent. Although they have both faced their own challenges from the day we arrived, just in very different ways. I have loved being able to choose where my kids school and what kind of school they go to. Master Miggs and Little Miss Migs go to awesome schools with lots of structure and a real family feel. Miss Migs is off to a fine arts school in Sept, which is just down the road. Master Miggs has been stretched in his academic abilities due to his innate abilities and Miss Miggs has been supported through her year, by the way, check the start dates for when your kids are to start in grade one. If you feel that your kids are very late in the year, you can start them a year later, parents here, have that choice to make in Alberta, had I known that Miss Miggs would have started grade one this year, I thought she had to attend!!!! Master Miggs attends swimming, piano and scouts, Miss Miggs has ballet, tap, swimming and guides. The lack of traffic and good planning of the city allows people to be able to have the choice to bring kids to activities easily and the cost makes it very easy to achieve. Most importantly the two of them have lots of friends and lots of social stuff for me to run around doing my taxi service for!!!

I live in a house I didn't choose, that initially I hated with a PASSION. Now I love it as I have lots of friends in the neighbourhood. Which brings me to my final aspect of our journey....................

What went wrong.......

I would have loved to know three years ago, just what kind of challenges I should prepare for in a list, so here's a brief list of mine and other peoples challenges upon immigrating that I'm aware of.


1) Miss parents and friends and incredible feelings of guilt associated with immigrating.
2) Loosing your career and social life and having to start over
3) Feeling the odd one out all of the time
4) Magnification of challenges that might already be in your relationship, as there are only two of you to take your frustrations out on!
5) Financial challenges
6) Health problems - or rather having to face them with little support
7) Choosing friends without thinking, relating to people you would never normally back in the UK and tolerating negativity.
8) Not sharing precious moments with precious people.
9) The ******* cold.


What I did to put it right!

The above will present a mountain to climb for any wannabe immigrant, but for the record after the three years, this is where I got to personally.

1)I left Canada for five months and returned in September 09. After a while it became apparent, that this is, in fact the right place for my family right now. So, once I accepted that life began to change and now........

2)I realised when I returned how many friends I actually had here and how much a part of the community my family had become. When the penny dropped I embraced this and all winter we had pot lucks and nights out with other families and an awesome Christmas and birthday!

3)I was offered my old job back at the college immeadiately, took it and developed my role so much so that I now consult and outsource Something that at the moment is in infant stages but has real potential. Also my work is TOTALLY around school time, with no issues when kids are sick etc as I work from home. AWESOME!!!!!!!!

4)I am also developing my own education further after already graduating with Canadian credentials this year. I have a clear 5 year plan again.

5)We have spent lots of time getting our home how we want it, so much so now we wouldnt want to move at all - this makes a huge difference to me !!!!!!!!!!

6)Sorted out the relationships in my life in general and finally faced up to some stuff that needed addressing for a very long time.

7) I HAVE STOPPED TO SMELL THE ROSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:t humbsup:

Conclusion
To conclude, sort out personal shit before you come here, whether it's with the family you are leaving or in your relationship. Otherwise it will just follow you and magnify when you are under stresses in your new life. If one person in the partnership is not happy, they have to do all they can to increase the positive that's here and give it 110% otherwise all of the family will be brought down. You have to be at peace with yourself as best you can be in order to get the best from this experience, otherwie it's just a form of running away and it just won't work.

I would say, carefully examine where you are going to move to, but funnily enough now, I couldn't live anywhere else. I go to the store, mall or work and bump in to lots of people that I know and feel comfortable with. It took time to find my place in the community, but after a lot of hard work and not isolating as I was doing, I have found it and I like it. In fact I like it a lot and have an awesome social circle, but it took time. Last week I had a minor crisis and the phone rang all night with people checking if I was ok (which was lovely ) Yes, it's a small town ages away from the sea, but we go out to the mountains and have camping with friends planned lots this summer and no, I can't say I have done much to combat the winter, it's a bastard, that's all there is to it.

So there you have it, my three years, all shared with Mrs Burton and her lovely family and some of you peeps via facebook too For anyone about to embark on this adventure, I say power to you, for anyone in the middle of a rocky patch, I say get rid of the negativity you can control and carefully examine what's good and what you can increase, don't spiral in to feelings of this being hopeless, because sometimes, it's not Canada that's hopeless, it's us who just need to reframe our experience in that moment. Life happens wherever you are! Finally, do stop and smell the roses, because it's quality of life that you came here for.

Now I'm off to lock up and once again kiss my lovelies goodnight, call my hubby and know that no matter whatever life throws at us next, that both myself and my family are 100 times stronger than we were 3 years ago, a 100 times wiser than I was 2 years ago and a lot more thankful for my life and my family than I have ever been.

Best of luck to you all, in all your decisions, dillemas and dreams.....
Michelle. (Mrs M x)
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Old Jun 8th 2010, 9:39 pm
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Default Re: Three Years Today!

What a great honest post MM, so glad that things are now settling down for you, congratulations, and all the best moving forward with your life and dreams
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Old Jun 8th 2010, 9:52 pm
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Default Re: Three Years Today!

Awesome post Mistress M.

Luv Ya.
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Old Jun 8th 2010, 10:06 pm
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A lovely post. All the very best for many more happy years.
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Old Jun 8th 2010, 11:46 pm
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Default Re: Three Years Today!

Am so bloody glad you are back Momma Sys !! Missed you without a doubt when you went back and happy you are now back as my surogate Momma Sys ! Cant wait for you to meet my mom when she comes (hopefully) at Xmas.

Love you tonnes more than when I first knew you - private joke there

Your very own personal Momma Burger
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Old Jun 9th 2010, 1:56 am
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Default Re: Three Years Today!

Wonderful post Mrs M - though I expect nothing less

My hearty good wishes to your and yours for the next three too

You hit on some very pertinent points and I totally agree that if there are any personal/emotional/relationship issues before you move, be prepared for them to magnify times 10 after you move.
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Old Jun 9th 2010, 11:41 am
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Great post MM, congrats to you and your family.
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Old Jun 9th 2010, 7:41 pm
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Default Re: Three Years Today!

What a great post. Thanks for sharing that.

Enjoy and be happy
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Old Jun 10th 2010, 4:57 am
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Sooo glad its all working out - sometimes it does seem a right nightmare- but we battle on
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Old Jun 10th 2010, 1:21 pm
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Default Re: Three Years Today!

Brilliant post!
Well done on sticking it out and i am really pleased that you are now feeling better and alot more positive.
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Old Jun 10th 2010, 4:07 pm
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Default Re: Three Years Today!

What a lovely post - thanks for sharing your experiences. Best wishes for your ongoing adventure...x
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Old Jun 10th 2010, 4:50 pm
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Thanks for sharing, and congrats on the Canniversary
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Old Jun 11th 2010, 12:55 am
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What a great honest post. Glad all the family have settled and are happy and content after all the ups and downs. Here's to many happy years ahead
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Old Jun 11th 2010, 1:25 am
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Default Re: Three Years Today!

Fab post. Totally agree with so much that you've said Missus. So pleased that you have finally found true happiness here.
Here's to many years to come
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Old Jun 14th 2010, 10:57 pm
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Great & thoughtful post.
good luck for the rest of your future
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