AllyS

Well it's been 18 months since we moved over from the UK.

We are now doing ok financially, still no social life to speak of. I am working 11-12 hr days, my husband is working 11 hr days.

Some days we get very disgruntled with life here, some days everything seems fine.

One thing I have noticed here is that people (Canadians) put work before everything else. They work and work out, work and work out (gym), don't have time to meet anyone (an SO) because they are too busy working. I have heard this story so many times now.

Some things are falling into place, some things haven't gelled with us yet.

My husband particularly misses his circle of friends back in the Uk. I have moved around so much I don't have a circle of friends, but clusters of people I have met over the years. We are missing aspects of British life.

Anyway, I guess this thread doesn't sound v positive.

Auld Yin

So why are you both working 11-12 hour days? Do you get paid accordingly, overtime etc? Are the jobs too much for you or is too much expected from you?

AllyS

Under resourced projects.....in my case by 50%

Almost Canadian

I don't know anyone in Calgary that works.the hours the OP and their OH do. Getting people to "work" at all is difficult.

To the OP: what is it the two of you do for a living?

gryphea

I don't know anyone who works those hours either. My OH occasionally has one week like that, say every 15 weeks, but most people I know are home to coach their kids at soccer, hockey etc.

Working that hard will never get you a circle of friends. At my work all the projects are under resourced but they and individuals realise that its not in the long term interests to work like that (works or theirs)

AllyS

I am looking to move on to another company as it's getting ridiculous. I am working on an O&G IT program and my husband is working on an O&G major project.

AllyS

We're planning to return to the UK this time next year.

Should mention that we have been extremely lucky regards finding work here - had no issues at all. Career prospects are excellent.

BUT

We're struggling with the lack of social life, that we have no time to build one. Too tired by the end of the week. We find that people compartmenatalise their lives - seem to keep their co-workers separate from their personal lives. On that note we see my workaholic brother and sister-in-law about once a month.....my brother has been working 12-15 hr days lately. They and all of their friends are in full baby-making mode and so that is pretty much the main thing going on. My brother and sister-in-law's baby is due in January.

Also, with the cost of travel within Canada - so if we wanted to get away for a long weekend we would have to part with at least $2k. This means that we are stuck with the same places to visit i.e. Banff, Edmonton, Lethbridge etc. Getting away during the winter presents a different challenge - especially over mountain passes. A weekend skiing would cost $500+

General cost of living - housing no cheaper, food - in line with average wages. Gas - ok.

My husband gets 3 weeks a year vacation time - 2 weeks of which we spend in the UK visiting relatives and friends at Christmas time. That leaves us with a week to do our own thing - not great. Did I mention that the cost of flying at that time of year is $2k+?

We're going to make the most of the time we have left, but we will have the UK job market in its current state to face on our return.

RKS_in_Calgary

so sorry to hear about your experience. Ours is quite different and whilst I work something approaching your hours, my colleagues are very friendly and we have been really surprised how quickly we settled here - we have both lived and worked overseas before Calgary. Could you try changing jobs here and giving it a bit longer? It seems such a shame to have made the effort to move here and then have to go back again. I know how hard it can be to settle in (other countries I have worked have been very bad) but I really hope you get something positive out of this

good luck

AllyS

Thanks RKS_in Calgary - really appreciated your response.

Actually, there is another company very interested in taking me on, and I have already interviewed there so its just a matter of time. I know that I will be very unpopular for leaving the project team, but everyone is frustrated because of the lack of resources etc.

Very tired.....

RKS_in_Calgary

fingers cross for you with the other job - I always find it difficult to leave a company but you have to do what is right for you. Perhaps a change of scene will give you a different viewpoint or at least a more positive expernce here

good luck

AllyS

It is difficult to leave a contract job, especially when trying to build a reputation in Calgary, however, there is so much work around (and more interesting) it seems crazy to continue slogging away for little reward......

AllyS

Never mentioned that hubby hates it here, constantly tired and grumpy - he never used to be like this. We don't get to wind down with a group of people to chat to. Also, he never wanted to move here in the first place, but went along with it.

And even more depressing is the fact that my brother and Canadian S-I-L have us at the bottom of their list of priorities, they totally compartmenatlise their life and we get the crumbs of their time so to speak. Not what I expected, and a big disappointment. This will be even worse when they have their first child in January. This isn't the case when they want help, under those circumstances we are the first to be contacted, but as I said earlier, we see them once a month, and we basically feel surplus to their life.

A tough one, however, this time next year we'll be back in the UK again...... hey ho.....

gryphea

here's how I see it.

You should both decide not to work that hard- that's whats holding you back from developing friends etc being too tired etc

You both tell your work. Either :
1. they find a way to get rid of you. In which case you go back to Uk which you were going to do anyway
2. they take it on chin and accept it better to have you 40-45hrs a week than not have you at all. In which case you stay (this requires modifying your behaviour) and give it a better go.

Item 2 really requires you to rethink your behaviour. its tough but required. I do this everyweek, I work 24hrs, we are snowed under. We will always be snowed under and have been for the 3.75 years I have worked here. Work knows my limits and I still get salary raises and bonuses. They do this because I am good at what I do , they earn a lot of money from me and they would rather they get 24hrs from me and I stay than they get 40hrs form me and I leave

AllyS

Thanks gryphea, appreciate your suggestion - will mull it over.........

Lychee

AllyS, is there an option to move elsewhere in Canada?

Calgary is very much a career first oriented city, from my understanding. That is, many people move to Calgary due to job opportunities first and foremost. The amount of work you do, however, isn't helping.

Have you spent any time on the west coast?