Hello

I have had a week full of doubts wondering whether this is the right thing for us and our family. Probably brought on by our pending house move but I think the realisation of what a massive change this all is has just hit me sideways. I know it sounds silly as we have been building up to emigrating for so long but can't help feeling so doubtful at the moment.

I have thought about visiting NS again after christmas to put my mind at rest that we are doing the right thing but OH is not sure as he thinks it is ££ that could go towards the other expenses.

What do you think??

I think most people have a stage if not 2 or 3 in the process where they suddenly have huge doubts about making the move, I think that this is entirely normal and things like selling a house etc, do suddenly make it all seem real for the first time and it isnt just a paperwork process.

Whilst £££ saved on another trip could be well spent, if there is a real doubt in your mind about the move then spending a few £££ now could avoid a hugely expensive mistake.

I dont think anyone can really answer this for you, its down to how you are really feeling about the move in your gut, perhaps see how you go over xmas etc and then review in the new year, you may feel positive about the move again and dont feel that you need another trip, on the other hand if you genuinely still have big doubts then perhaps consider another recce.

Hope this helps

Rubie I've been having a very similar week or two. I think it is down to the medicals taking much longer than expected, I've found myself over-thinking everything, and worrying that Canada won't be right, or what we want to do won't work, that it could prove a costly mistake. I think once I perceive things moving along again that feeling should go, though I have no doubt it will be back before we go for good!

I suspect it's just all part of the rollercoaster process...

On reading this site, it looks like pre move wobbles are common. Just be aware that post move wobbles are also common so expect a wobbly few years to come.

Rubie

I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse , but I'm Canadian and have sponsored my other half, and I have doubts about the whole thing. I fully know what I am getting myself into and what its like to live in Canada v the UK. I've done the move a few times now,but this is the first time I have someone else in tow, and its definitely making me stop and think if I'm doing the right thing or not.

Given that I know Canada, the pros and cons of living there versus here (Glasgow) I have to think its just a natural thing as its a big move. For me its probably more the whole upheaval as opposed to the 'unknown' as well tho.

as a previous poster suggested, only you know whats best. Another trip might not be a bad thing. Better to be out a grand or so than a lot more money..... that said, the trip may settle your mind temporarily but you'll never really know how you feel til you go for it!

I completley empathise with you, I feel the same, some days I feel excited and then other days I think OMG how will I be able to leave everything here?? It is a big move but what an adventure,and hopefully a better quality of life! We are doing this for our kids future.

We are in the process of immigrating to Quebec, we are going over in June for our recce and interviews for OH job, visit schools, houses etc. The biggest concern for me is my kids. I know my OH and I will survive but I am so worried about breaking the news to the kids. They will have to encounter a new language, new schools make new friends etc I hope they won't hate us for the decision to move and taking them away from everything that they know and feel safe with here.

We have said though if it doesn't work out and we aren't happy in Canada then we won't rule out returning back to the UK.

Good luck with everything.

Hello Rubie,

I posted on here a couple of weeks ago as my husband was going through the wobbles then and I am (a bit) now. I think it's perfectly normal.....we applied in 2007 when we were at an all time low and got our visas this year when life had improved somewhat. I think (as a poster on my thread stated) that it takes sooooo long to get a visa and things can change by the time they're issued. However, our family agreed that we'd be mad, crazy, bonkers not to give it a go as nothing is written in stone and you can always return if things don't work out.....praying this does not happen though! My advice (for what it's worth) is if you can afford another look around and it won't eat too much into your future finances, then go for it. I'm sure when you get there you'll know straight away what your instincts tell you.....

You've received some good advice here already. I agree that pre-move and post-move wobbles are normal. I also agree that a another trip to look around might help you - if you have the money to spare.

I will add this though - if you're going to make the move, make it with a positive mindset. Be determined to make it work out and you'll be better prepared to deal with whatever's thrown at you. No guarantees that it will work out but at least you'll have given it your best shot and you'll know it just wasn't to be.

However, if you go with a negative mindset, you'll be looking for excuses to fail and return back home - and that will become a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you have a negative mindset, don't make the move.

Hi All

thank you so much for all your replies and sound advice. It's comforting to know that everyone feels the wobbles at some point in this endless process.

When I am thinking rationally, I know that emigrating with a family is a massive change and that it will inevitably bring feelings of upheaval and questions about why we are doing it, when we could just carry on with our little lives in our comfortable home going through the normal day to day routines. It's just as you say Nikki, that at certain times you realise that it is much more than a paper exercise no matter how much you have imagined each stage in the process.

I know that if I push on through the 'wobbles' and focus on the end goal I should be fine but think that another trip may be worth the outlay in the end even if it is to settle my mind. However you never know, I may be fine again in a couple of weeks.

Thanks again for all your help.

This haunts me to the core every night even though I know I have their very best interests at heart.

Oh lord! Think I will start with the valium now

Hi
Our house has just gone under offer and although thats exactly what we wanted, I found myself in tears earlier when I got the news.
We only put the house on the market 7 days ago so it being sold so quickly has come as a surprise. (although I know that we are lucky here)

I think, as Nikki said, its the realisation that this is no longer a paper process but your home thats being sold that hits you. Its certainly hit me and completely freaked me out today.

I was wondering if its the whole stability of the house but as a good friend said just now "Houses do not make for stability, crazy horrible things can happen in houses, its your family that is your stability" and I realised that yes, we are fine because we are doing this together.

However, I am sure this is not the last of the wobbles, just got to keep your eyes on the prize.

Hi everyone with the wobbles !
The good news is that everything you are feeling now is normal, try really hard not to project your thoughts and feelings into the future , into a situation that has not yet happened.. for example your children won't grow up hating you..trust that in this moment you are exactly where you need to be and that the lessons of courage, self trust, and faith are waiting on you to be uncovered.
All this really is part of the rich tapestry of your life and your children's lives I speak from the heart as someone who has coached many newcomers through the transition of emigrating and also as someone who emigrated to Canada and then after the loss of a partner went back to UK for a few years to "get my act together" but with the sole intention of returning to the life I had left behind. I am blessed as I found that I had another chance to begin a new life in Nova Scotia.
Recognise when you are feeling Wobby, acknowledge the feelings then move on to some more positive behaviours.
I am always happy to talk or meet with anyone who would like some support
feel free to contact me and remember , mental states don't last so don't attach yourself to one for too long!

Once you've done all of your research as to where to live, how to earn a living etc, I think its better not to over-think it in the run up to actually going.

If I knew then what I know now three years later, perhaps I would not have gone. I'm very happy here, but had to face a lot of challenges through moving that put me well out of my comfort zone for a while. It gets easier though.

Moving countries can be very difficult in a lot of ways, including ways you won't even be expecting.

I don't think many people have a completely smooth ride when they move. Stuff is going to go wrong, you'll probably have periods of unhappiness or regret, and this will be 'normal'.

With a life change this big though, sometimes you just have to close your eyes, trust and jump. And take each day at is comes.

That's enough cliches from me in one post.

Good luck with it!

They may be cliches, but they make perfect sense!