After reading many threads on this wonderful site, I am after some valued advice/oppinions The dream of us going to Canada is within reach and although this is something we desperatley want to do, we still have the problem of the MIL!! We know that it could take years to get her out with us, and if we were to go we would be leaving her in the UK completly on her own and we are not sure if we could live with this. So I guess my question is would you stay in the UK or take the chance ?

I'd go. But then, I'm a bastard.

This is probably a question you should answer yourself. On what basis should the forum comment? (e.g. cost/benefit, MIL/benefit...)

I'm not asking the peeps of the forum to answer, was just asking what would you do if in that situation An belive me this is a question we have been asking ourselves over and over, just not yet reached a decision,

Blunt maybe but bastard Noooo!! Thank you for your honest answer

I'd go as well.

In my case, the mother-in-common-law is just another reason to move thousands of miles away. But seriously, parents shouldn't be relying on their children once they've grown up.

Can you edit your first post to make it a poll?

Got to live YOUR life. Assuming she is in good health, get her out to spend time with you as frequently as possible. We're just about to be hit, no strike that, blessed, by a second 3 week visit from Jan's Mum and Dad in less than 6 months!

She sounds quite dependent upon you guys...is there anything you can do to help her broaden her social horizons before you go?

Communicate as much as possible. Can you get webcams set up and teach her how to use them if she is not familiar with that sort of technology?

Having said all that...we know how hard it can be to leave relatives behind...perhaps especially in the situation you describe.

Best wishes,

Eamonn & Janet.

How do I do that ???

Thank you for your reply. Her health is not bad but she is waiting for a knee replacement, and I guess she is depended on us as we are all she has now. My oh brother moved himself and his family out to Oz last year, and I this is making it harder for us She has said she will visit as often as poss. We will make a decision on this soon

Definitely go! I think our parents/in laws should be grateful that we have given them the awesome opportunity to visit another, beautiful part of the world.
My mum visits every 4 - 5 months and my MIL who is older, less sprightly and more of a pain in the a*** enjoys her annual 2 weeks with us and would never have travelled to Canada if we hadn't moved here.

Sod her and come over. Your B-I-L didnt give a toss so why should you?

Apologies for the bluntness.

I would go, i think your MIL has made that clear

If she has advised that she will visit as much as possable, then she is already making that decision for you

i will leave my mum behind, but with internet etc she will be fine, i know its hard, but what if you dont go, how will you feel then

I would go too. But then I'm thinking of my MIL and there's nothing on earth that would make me give up a dream for her!

Good luck making a decision.

This really is a tough question because you dont want the result to damage your relationship with your OH. Sure leaving your MIL sounds like a dream but if your husband is going to feel guilty and not enjoy your time together in Canada then will it be worth it?