what am I missing?
 

Hi all,

My wife is from Montreal I am from the North of England. We moved here in early December 2014 after 10 years together in the UK. I should say that I have always loved England. The humour, the variety of food, Indian, Thai, etc....., the pub culture, having so many things on your doorstep. I have never been a housey type of person. Its always been a place to sleep and gardening is definitely not for me. I led a very active life, very involved with sports. I moved here with an open mind with the thought that maybe I'm missing out on something. Everyone wants to move to Canada right! I have visited a lot over the last 10 years but never once did I think, what an amazing place to live. I thought that about other places but not Canada. I should add that I'm living near to Ottawa. Now that I'm here, I'm feeling that we made a mistake. I look around and still don't see what would make someone move here. I enjoyed the winter with the winter sports which I have always been involved in at a professional level but now that we're into summer, I'm just bored and frustrated. There is less work here for me and what there is, is not as interesting. I'd love to know if people always feel this way, will I learn to love Canada? Does it take 12 months or more to get "into it"? I feel like a bit of a fish out of water here. I just don't get it. For me life was awesome in England but it doesn't seem that great here. Please let me know your experiences. Have some of you had the same experience and gone back to the UK? Did some of you feel like me but after a certain amount of time begin to love it here? What is it that people like about Canada?

Re: what am I missing?
 

I agree with most of this assessment. Putting the scenery aside, it's a mediocre country, with a largely homogeneous population. I've been over 7 years now and really cant wait to leave.

Re: what am I missing?
 

You're in the wrong part of Canada...

Re: what am I missing?
 

Hi from a fellow (originally but a longtime ago) Northerner :)

Canada was never on my "bucket list" either. I followed a Canadian spouse here too.For various reasons (including young children - now adults - who were loving it & still do), I stayed.

I've said this before, I found years 3 - 5 the hardest : the first year I was too busy settling in, getting used to two cultures (Qc & Canada) which were rather more different than I expected, working out how stuff works over here. By year 3, the novelty had worn off, and boredom/frustration/annoyance set in. If I hadn't had the aforementioned children who I didn't want to uproot again, I would have left.

Whereabouts, roughly, are you "near Ottawa"? Rural/urban? Franco or Anglo area? Have you discussed these thoughts with your wife, and what does she think?

Unless you are absolutely depressed/on the verge of a breakdown about being here, I think you should give it more time.

I found moving to Canada harder than my stints in Asia & France, possibly because I *expected* the latter 2 to be difficult given language & culture barriers. My mistake with Canada was thinking "how hard can it be - we speak the same language etc etc?"

Re: what am I missing?
 

We moved in January 2014... I loved the winter sports and then thoroughly hated my summer with absolutely terrible homesickness! Search for my some of my posts if you want! I too absolutely loved my life back home and moved with some trepidation.

Roll on another year and I'm really enjoying summer, still early days in friendships but there is definitely long term potential, and we've had some weekends away with friends and are booked in for some more. We also do summer and winter sports with friends. I suppose I'm saying it takes a while to stop looking back and missing what you had and start to appreciate what you have. Having said that we moved to a different life from the UK...city to country, sea to very accessible beautiful lakes where we water ski, tube, wake surf, boat for dinner etc. So maybe the area is the key. I can imagine had we moved from similar city to city the difference wouldn't be that big and I would probably have moved home by now although it was touch and go last summer...

Re: what am I missing?
 

I fear that you've been misinformed. The essential trade off in moving to Canada is that you give up culture for the sake of consumer durables, primarily a bigger house.

Re: what am I missing?
 

I've not really thought of it in those terms, but I think you're absolutely right. We have a big house in a beautiful setting, but cultural stimulation? not so much.

Re: what am I missing?
 

I think what i have hilighted in your post is your problem.... if it wasnt a place you wanted to move to, you will never learn to love it, you did it for your wife? you love England, so thats where your heart is, thats where you belong, and where you should be living life.

Many people make the mistake of moving to Canada for a change/for the kids/for a job/for a partner/or just for the hell of it.....this more often than not will not work. As i have said so many times before there must be a pull to your new home, a strong pull.

For me personally i had the push from the UK as i had no ties and family was becoming distant, added to this, the pull from Canada was strong, one of the my loves is the outdoors, and so Canada really suits me summer and winter, it has one of the best backyards in the world, i am doing stuff here that simply would not be achievable for me in the UK. Tirytory summed up the different lifestyle very well, and this appeals to me too.

I miss blighty from time to time, but Canada offers me more for what i want out of life, and we are all different and want different things out of life!

You are not missing anything, its just not for you, it appears you are really only here for your wife, did she like living in England?

Re: what am I missing?
 

Canada is a huge country and varies a greatly from province to province and from city to city. No-one can or should judge the whole country from experience in one or even a few places. If you don't like where you're living or what you're doing. it's up to you to move elsewhere and to find work and activities you enjoy more rather than writing off a whole country as mediocre or boring.

Re: what am I missing?
 

I mentioned moving to the Toronto area but my wife would rather be in the UK than live there. My job sort of requires that I be near the capital city.

Re: what am I missing?
 

She loved England but I suppose she misses her family too and has many good memories of growing up in Canada

Re: what am I missing?
 

We are in Ontario, approx 45 mins from downtown Ottawa, very Anglo. Nice little town with friendly people but severely lacking in all the things you take for granted in a UK town.
My wife was as uncertain about coming here as me. She misses aspects of the UK, she has good friends there and is a lover of the UK culture now. I think she is 50 / 50 whether we should stay or go.

Re: what am I missing?
 

I completely agree with you. People have said to me that they visited London and they base their whole opinion on that city. I tell them they haven't seen the best bits. My wife has said that if we can't be within a reasonable distance of her family then there's no point in us being here. We also don't want to keep moving the kids.

Re: what am I missing?
 

Its funny you say that. I find myself really talking to Indian looking people when I see them. I feel as though I have much more in common with them than the local Canadians. I find most Asian (Indian) people have experience with the UK and the food is something I really miss. I don't find the variety of tastes here.
In fact the first curry my wife ever had was in brick lane in London. She was 24 and had been to uni in Ottawa and Montreal. She never looked up once while devouring that curry and is now a passionate lover of indian food.

Re: what am I missing?
 

It sounds like Canada just isn't for you and sometimes there's just no point of trying to make it work. Of course you have to think with your head and make sure that you have a job back in the UK etc. but if that's the case what's stopping you both returning to the UK. People move for a better life, but if you don't see any advantages in Canada, it's not worth the struggle. Of course your wife has to want that to, but it sounds that she'd be willing to move back for you.