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Old Apr 16th 2013, 9:45 am
  #16  
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Default Re: We're going back

First two years of my life in Canada were a huge struggle financially as well, I was living almost entirely on no-name brand food, I couldn't afford a car, and I was always worrying, but eventually I started to get paid more, got a better job, more doors opened up, and now things aren't so bad - and getting better. Other immigrants have told me the first 3 years are the hardest, and I completely agree with this.

If you feel better in the UK then that's where you should be. My only concern is that it does sound like you were fixated on a certain area without considering where might be the best place to live to be able to find employment. In the UK it's not impossible to live that way, the UK is much smaller and more condensed, so you can find a nice house in the country and then commute to work in the nearest city, however in Canada things are much more spaced out, the "country" here can be a 4 or 5 hour drive from a city that has jobs.
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Old Apr 16th 2013, 11:50 am
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by CanadaJimmy
First two years of my life in Canada were a huge struggle financially as well, I was living almost entirely on no-name brand food, I couldn't afford a car, and I was always worrying, but eventually I started to get paid more, got a better job, more doors opened up, and now things aren't so bad - and getting better. Other immigrants have told me the first 3 years are the hardest, and I completely agree with this.

If you feel better in the UK then that's where you should be. My only concern is that it does sound like you were fixated on a certain area without considering where might be the best place to live to be able to find employment. In the UK it's not impossible to live that way, the UK is much smaller and more condensed, so you can find a nice house in the country and then commute to work in the nearest city, however in Canada things are much more spaced out, the "country" here can be a 4 or 5 hour drive from a city that has jobs.

I somewhat disagree with your initial statement. For us the first three years were fantastic, we were living the dream, I wouldn't make that statement now and nothings really changed but our perspective and outlook, it's getting harder for us to live here.
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Old Apr 17th 2013, 12:40 am
  #18  
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by lcar
Well, it's been a tough couple of years. Nothing seems to have gone well since we've been in Ontario. Everything has been a compromise, a challenge, and a test.
It took more than 19 months for me to get a job, and every minute of that 19 months was depressing, financially very challenged, and tested our marriage, and our children's resilience. We've finally had enough.
My mum died in March, quite suddenly, but I managed to get back to see her for a few days - the first time I had seen her in 2 years. She didn't get to see her grandchildren (her only grandchildren) again.
We had to fight to get our children from their awful rough school into a school where they felt safe enough to learn. Our children had to fight to be accepted in everything they did. My husband hates his job, I hate mine.
There are things we love. The summers are fantastic, the winters are beautiful (though minus 38 wasn't fun), the falls are - well, leafy. We love the space, the fresh air, the fact that we have a driveway and 3 acres of garden. We've met good people (and bad), and we have good memories (and bad).
The shad flies, black flies and mosquitoes aren't pleasant neighbours.
Anyway, we have decided to go back. We know that 2 years isn't very long, and things could get better, but we feel it is long enough.
If we go now, our older children can go back to their old schools and study for their A levels and GCSE's respectively. If we wait, things get more difficult.
So, I'm now home schooling my daughter to help her revise for her international GCSE's.
My daughters and I head back to the UK on 5th May for the start of her exams, to start a new life, wiser, much poorer, but with 2 years more experience of life. We'll leave some good friends behind, but we'll take some good memories with us.
My husband and sons will stay here to get the house sold, and follow asap.
No regrets (except that my mother didn't see the children again), but also no sorrow that we are going back.
We came, we did our best, we had good moments and bad moments. Now it's time for a new chapter.
Wow

Had to reply to this as this is our story almost exactly (minus the sad passing of your mother). We're still in Canada but for reasons similar to yours would love to return to West Yorks.

Ironic - we spent so long hating the UK and trying to get out and now all of us are desperate to get back! Total madness.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and if only we had listened to good friends and parents and thought harder about coming here and what we actually had in the UK maybe things would have been different.

Unfortunately we left UK just as the crash happened in 2008. We benefited from high selling house price. BUT what we are going back to and what we can afford is a lot less than in 2008. Mainly the jobs have all dried up in Huddersfield area and minimum wage is the norm - or so I hear. Lower house prices though.

Overall the whole experience has aged myself and my husband. Also echo the comments so often made by us and others banging on about 'a better life for the kids'. NO better for them or us - just different.

All the best
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Old Apr 17th 2013, 8:06 am
  #19  
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Default Re: We're going back

Good luck on your return to the UK, hope it all works out for you.
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 2:38 am
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Default Re: We're going back

Agree, best wishes with the move back !
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 4:41 am
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by CanadaJimmy
First two years of my life in Canada were a huge struggle financially as well, I was living almost entirely on no-name brand food, I couldn't afford a car, and I was always worrying, but eventually I started to get paid more, got a better job, more doors opened up, and now things aren't so bad - and getting better. Other immigrants have told me the first 3 years are the hardest, and I completely agree with this.
My OH had a similar experience and we were told it takes 3 years to feel as if you are settling in and to adjust. Almost to the day it was 3 years, then she felt more settled, after 10 years you feel like a fixture and could not imagine going back, after 20 years you wonder what all the fuss was about in the early years.

It was easier for me, despite living in Canada, I was in the UK as much, if not more after moving to Canada than I was as a UK resident. My OH could go back as much as she wanted, but toughed it out in Canada until she was settled.

Readjustment is harder for some than others. One has to decide what one wants to do and give it your best shot. Impossible for others to advise, it is a personal choice and we get to live with those choices.
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 4:57 am
  #22  
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by Aviator
My OH had a similar experience and we were told it takes 3 years to feel as if you are settling in and to adjust. Almost to the day it was 3 years, then she felt more settled, after 10 years you feel like a fixture and could not imagine going back, after 20 years you wonder what all the fuss was about in the early years.

It was easier for me, despite living in Canada, I was in the UK as much, if not more after moving to Canada than I was as a UK resident. My OH could go back as much as she wanted, but toughed it out in Canada until she was settled.

Readjustment is harder for some than others. One has to decide what one wants to do and give it your best shot. Impossible for others to advise, it is a personal choice and we get to live with those choices.
Or it gets worse, every day a little more, as the corrosive acid of alienation slowly eats away your soul as you realize you’ve ripped apart a perfectly decent family, your children have become estranged foreigners and your parents are withering away while cousin Jackie is sucking their last penny out of them and no **** still gets your jokes and all because you were a little bored at one point.
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 5:47 am
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by Oink
Or it gets worse, every day a little more, as the corrosive acid of alienation slowly eats away your soul as you realize you’ve ripped apart a perfectly decent family, your children have become estranged foreigners and your parents are withering away while cousin Jackie is sucking their last penny out of them and no **** still gets your jokes and all because you were a little bored at one point.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2sKH8yjVsM
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 6:18 am
  #24  
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Default Re: We're going back

Good Luck on your return to the UK. You gave it your best shot and it wasn't for you. Hope it all works out for you.
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 8:12 am
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Default Re: We're going back

Good luck on your new start.
When the kids grow up and all that, at least you can say been there, done that & got the t shirt!
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 9:34 am
  #26  
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Default Re: We're going back

Good luck on your return. I can understand why you would be fed up and want to head back to the UK.

Last edited by jandro; Apr 18th 2013 at 9:39 am.
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 3:12 pm
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by Oink
Or it gets worse, every day a little more, as the corrosive acid of alienation slowly eats away your soul as you realize you’ve ripped apart a perfectly decent family, your children have become estranged foreigners and your parents are withering away while cousin Jackie is sucking their last penny out of them and no **** still gets your jokes and all because you were a little bored at one point.
I like this description
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 5:04 pm
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by huddersfieldlass
Wow

Had to reply to this as this is our story almost exactly (minus the sad passing of your mother). We're still in Canada but for reasons similar to yours would love to return to West Yorks.

Ironic - we spent so long hating the UK and trying to get out and now all of us are desperate to get back! Total madness.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and if only we had listened to good friends and parents and thought harder about coming here and what we actually had in the UK maybe things would have been different.

Unfortunately we left UK just as the crash happened in 2008. We benefited from high selling house price. BUT what we are going back to and what we can afford is a lot less than in 2008. Mainly the jobs have all dried up in Huddersfield area and minimum wage is the norm - or so I hear. Lower house prices though.

Overall the whole experience has aged myself and my husband. Also echo the comments so often made by us and others banging on about 'a better life for the kids'. NO better for them or us - just different.

All the best
Thank god I am not the only that feels like this, we hated the UK now would love to go back, we gave up a rented house, car's, job's and are now in a position where if we wanted to go back we can't even afford to move all our possessions back, and after 22 years of marriage I can't get rid of everything and start again from scratch, hindsight is a wonderful thing, and if I could turn the clock back I would we were better off financially and a lot happier.
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 10:43 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by sheera67
I like this description
Me too!
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Old Apr 18th 2013, 11:12 pm
  #30  
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Default Re: We're going back

Originally Posted by Oink
Or it gets worse, every day a little more, as the corrosive acid of alienation slowly eats away your soul as you realize you’ve ripped apart a perfectly decent family, your children have become estranged foreigners and your parents are withering away while cousin Jackie is sucking their last penny out of them and no **** still gets your jokes and all because you were a little bored at one point.


I had a colleague once who I found (overly) cynical and as I get older, I find similar traits creeping into this expat. IOW I understand and it sux
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