We're going back
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 233
We're going back
Well, it's been a tough couple of years. Nothing seems to have gone well since we've been in Ontario. Everything has been a compromise, a challenge, and a test.
It took more than 19 months for me to get a job, and every minute of that 19 months was depressing, financially very challenged, and tested our marriage, and our children's resilience. We've finally had enough.
My mum died in March, quite suddenly, but I managed to get back to see her for a few days - the first time I had seen her in 2 years. She didn't get to see her grandchildren (her only grandchildren) again.
We had to fight to get our children from their awful rough school into a school where they felt safe enough to learn. Our children had to fight to be accepted in everything they did. My husband hates his job, I hate mine.
There are things we love. The summers are fantastic, the winters are beautiful (though minus 38 wasn't fun), the falls are - well, leafy. We love the space, the fresh air, the fact that we have a driveway and 3 acres of garden. We've met good people (and bad), and we have good memories (and bad).
The shad flies, black flies and mosquitoes aren't pleasant neighbours.
Anyway, we have decided to go back. We know that 2 years isn't very long, and things could get better, but we feel it is long enough.
If we go now, our older children can go back to their old schools and study for their A levels and GCSE's respectively. If we wait, things get more difficult.
So, I'm now home schooling my daughter to help her revise for her international GCSE's.
My daughters and I head back to the UK on 5th May for the start of her exams, to start a new life, wiser, much poorer, but with 2 years more experience of life. We'll leave some good friends behind, but we'll take some good memories with us.
My husband and sons will stay here to get the house sold, and follow asap.
No regrets (except that my mother didn't see the children again), but also no sorrow that we are going back.
We came, we did our best, we had good moments and bad moments. Now it's time for a new chapter.
It took more than 19 months for me to get a job, and every minute of that 19 months was depressing, financially very challenged, and tested our marriage, and our children's resilience. We've finally had enough.
My mum died in March, quite suddenly, but I managed to get back to see her for a few days - the first time I had seen her in 2 years. She didn't get to see her grandchildren (her only grandchildren) again.
We had to fight to get our children from their awful rough school into a school where they felt safe enough to learn. Our children had to fight to be accepted in everything they did. My husband hates his job, I hate mine.
There are things we love. The summers are fantastic, the winters are beautiful (though minus 38 wasn't fun), the falls are - well, leafy. We love the space, the fresh air, the fact that we have a driveway and 3 acres of garden. We've met good people (and bad), and we have good memories (and bad).
The shad flies, black flies and mosquitoes aren't pleasant neighbours.
Anyway, we have decided to go back. We know that 2 years isn't very long, and things could get better, but we feel it is long enough.
If we go now, our older children can go back to their old schools and study for their A levels and GCSE's respectively. If we wait, things get more difficult.
So, I'm now home schooling my daughter to help her revise for her international GCSE's.
My daughters and I head back to the UK on 5th May for the start of her exams, to start a new life, wiser, much poorer, but with 2 years more experience of life. We'll leave some good friends behind, but we'll take some good memories with us.
My husband and sons will stay here to get the house sold, and follow asap.
No regrets (except that my mother didn't see the children again), but also no sorrow that we are going back.
We came, we did our best, we had good moments and bad moments. Now it's time for a new chapter.
#2
Part Time Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Worcestershire
Posts: 4,219
Re: We're going back
Good luck..
Two years is more than enough time if you don't like what you’re seeing, and you need to make that decision before you run out of money and options too
Two years is more than enough time if you don't like what you’re seeing, and you need to make that decision before you run out of money and options too
#3
Re: We're going back
+1 I sometimes think that its better to come to that decision sooner rather than later, 2 years is ample time to make a informed decision i think. Good luck on your return.
#5
Re: We're going back
If you remember I did warn you about the shad flies (and lack of jobs) in North Bay.
I hope the move back for you all goes well.
I hope the move back for you all goes well.
#6
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 233
Re: We're going back
The lack of jobs - and living in a bubble 20 years behind the times - is worse than the shad flies.
Maybe we would have been OK if we'd lived further south.
Anyway, thank you.
Onward and upward
#7
slanderer of the innocent
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 6,695
Re: We're going back
I'm sorry to hear this, but I understand. All the best.
#8
BE user by choice
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: A Briton, married to a Canadian, now in Fredericton.
Posts: 4,854
Re: We're going back
You must feel so relieved now that you have come to this decision. I too wish you every happiness and as stress free as possible return
#9
Part Time Poster
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Worcestershire
Posts: 4,219
Re: We're going back
moving south might have moved you forwrad to only living 5 years behind the times
#10
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: Birmingham
Posts: 281
Re: We're going back
Wish you absolute good luck in your future for you and your family
Sorry to hear things did not work out but happiness is what matters so chase it wherever it may lead you.
Sorry to hear things did not work out but happiness is what matters so chase it wherever it may lead you.
#11
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2012
Posts: 230
Re: We're going back
Wishing you all the best for your return. Good luck.
#13
Re: We're going back
Sounds like you made a good go of it and have come to a sensible decision. Wish you all the best of British luck. If nothing else, you can look back in later life and remember those times living in the wilds of Canada. How many people can say they've done that?
#15
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2010
Location: Maryland (via Belfast, Manchester, Toronto and London)
Posts: 4,802
Re: We're going back
Thanks for sharing and I'm very sorry to hear it didn't work out. I haven't gone back to read all your posts. Looking back do you think you would have done anything differently? Did you do a recce trip? Did you research the job situation and lifestyle before making the move? Why did you choose North Bay?
I agree that 2 years is enough time to know that the place is not for you. However, Canada is a large, diverse country so it's possible that somewhere else might have suited you better.
I wish you and your family the best of luck on your return to the UK. I hope it works out for you.
I agree that 2 years is enough time to know that the place is not for you. However, Canada is a large, diverse country so it's possible that somewhere else might have suited you better.
I wish you and your family the best of luck on your return to the UK. I hope it works out for you.