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-   -   Well...Do we give it another go? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/canada-56/well-do-we-give-another-go-528524/)

mandi moo Apr 10th 2008 8:18 pm

Well...Do we give it another go?
 
Hi everyone, hope your all well :D
As you know we came home last year when my OH didnt settle. Ive never really settled back home and ive tried really hard. But all the violence and street crimes here are getting worse. No one hardly goes out at night and when you go for a drink the bars are full of 16-20 year olds looking for trouble.Theres nothing to do at weekends and the kids hang around the streets as theres no clubs or parks or anything for them anymore.
The company OH worked for want him back and we think its great that they would give us a second chance, dont get many of them in this life!!
I miss the life we had in Calgary and the friends we made. I still want to leave for the same reasons as before, to give the kids a better chance in life and to live a better life style. I cant earn here what i was earning in Calgary.
Atleast this time we know the areas and where to eat, shop, have hair cut etc.
The biggest thing is the upheavel for the kids,they miss calgary, Aaron keeps asking me when we,re going home, thinks we are on holiday here :rofl:
But Chloe would have to start high school and make friends again, shes 13 this year, a more awkward age.
So we,re in 2 minds, do we stay put and get on with it or do we take the second chance and go for it? :confused:
It is hard, and we have saved some money anyway, it could be done.
Shipping the furniture again tho arrggghhh!!!! Was a mare the last time, anyone want to share a container haha?
Let me know what you think, im sure you all will ;), im relying on it.
Speak soon ( Get the barbi ready Morwenna )
Mandi xxxx

LynseySmith Apr 10th 2008 8:33 pm

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
If OH OK to give it another and can walk into job try then definitely go for it girl! Don't live life with regrets. If you stay here you'll spend the rest of your life wishing you went. Go, esp if everyone's up for it....even if your extended family think you're bonkers! Lynsey

TheCanes Apr 10th 2008 8:37 pm

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
We are still waiting to make it over there, but I have to say 'go for it'!!! You don't want to wake up one day, when it's too late, and think that you made the biggest mistake of your life not going back.

I can just say that, if you go back and it turns out not to be the right thing again, you can always come back again, as the UK will always be posible for you. However, Canada has a time limit.

moondevil Apr 10th 2008 11:44 pm

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
i would look at the reasons you returned and take a good luck at both lives.

If you desire to return and have jobs, go for it, we only live once. :thumbsup:
I would share a container with anyone heading to alberta when our time comes, will know more after this weekend on our recci :thumbsup:

Let us know how you get on, what does your OH say :confused:

Gill :wub:

Cassie 10000 Apr 11th 2008 12:09 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
Hi Mandy

What have you got to lose if you both want to go back then do it. :thumbsup: You moved to Calgary once and now you know that England really isn't getting any better, go for it girl.

Good luck in your decision which really only you and your family can make.

Big hugs :)

mandi moo Apr 11th 2008 1:38 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
Thanks everyone, i feel better now. Kids are undecided, im totaly for it and darrens definatley gutted we came home.
My sister put alot of pressure on me last time with a new baby etc and Darrens dad passed away, but we just think we,re making decisions for everyone else and should look after number 1 x

Almost Canadian Apr 11th 2008 1:53 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
I would think about this very hard before making any decision to avoid a situation where you yo-you across the Atlantic everytime something goes awry in your lives.

Why does Darren think that all the problems that persuaded him to come back after a very short time have changed ?

I would take time to avoid any rash decision - moving isn't cheap :thumbsup:

Paul Wildy Apr 11th 2008 2:01 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
quite - it sounds like an expensive excercise to do it too many times. Mandi why didn't your OH settle the first time you moved out here? Was there something fundamentally wrong it was it just a homesickness kind of thing?

Purley Apr 11th 2008 2:26 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
I agree with the posters who say you should look long and hard before you make the move again. I don't know how the rules are. Can you just go back and forth when you feel like it once you have been accepted over here.

Years ago, when I was making a decision, a friend told me to make a chart on a piece of paper -- For and Against - and then write down all the reasons for each. And then think about each one. If, for instance, your daughter hated her school and complained all the time - then perhaps you could consider sending her to another school. Things like that - I am making that up - but what I mean is consider carefully each reason you liked it her and each reason you didn't.

After all, as someone said, flitting back and forth across the Atlantic every time you get a problem in your life is going to be pretty stressful, not to mention all the money you will waste.

G586 Apr 11th 2008 2:29 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 

Originally Posted by lizwil98 (Post 6193747)
I agree with the posters who say you should look long and hard before you make the move again. I don't know how the rules are. Can you just go back and forth when you feel like it once you have been accepted over here.

Years ago, when I was making a decision, a friend told me to make a chart on a piece of paper -- For and Against - and then write down all the reasons for each. And then think about each one. If, for instance, your daughter hated her school and complained all the time - then perhaps you could consider sending her to another school. Things like that - I am making that up - but what I mean is consider carefully each reason you liked it her and each reason you didn't.

After all, as someone said, flitting back and forth across the Atlantic every time you get a problem in your life is going to be pretty stressful, not to mention all the money you will waste.

As long as you spend 2 out of every 5 years in Canada, you can go back and fore as may times as you can afford....

mandi moo Apr 11th 2008 3:14 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
I agree to an extent that we cant go back and forward,darren made a hasty decision when my 16 year old was going to move back with his dad here in the UK. He regrets it now,we all do, especially because ryans still with his dad, so where does that leave us?
Darren was under stress with the exam he had to do for being a plumber but hes willing to sit it before we make the move this time.
We moved out during school holidays which put pressure on the kids as they were isolated for nearly 10 weeks, we did alot of things wrong the first time.
We hope to have learnt from them, and after doing the for and against list, Calgary won hands down.

Almost Canadian Apr 11th 2008 5:18 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 

Originally Posted by G586 (Post 6193773)
As long as you spend 2 out of every 5 years in Canada, you can go back and fore as may times as you can afford....


From memory they were not PRs, they were on a WP

Almost Canadian Apr 11th 2008 5:20 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 

Originally Posted by mandi moo (Post 6194011)
I agree to an extent that we cant go back and forward,darren made a hasty decision when my 16 year old was going to move back with his dad here in the UK. He regrets it now,we all do, especially because ryans still with his dad, so where does that leave us?
Darren was under stress with the exam he had to do for being a plumber but hes willing to sit it before we make the move this time.
We moved out during school holidays which put pressure on the kids as they were isolated for nearly 10 weeks, we did alot of things wrong the first time.
We hope to have learnt from them, and after doing the for and against list, Calgary won hands down.

Best of luck with whatever you decide :thumbsup:

Coffeepot Apr 11th 2008 6:07 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 

Originally Posted by mandi moo (Post 6194011)
I agree to an extent that we cant go back and forward,darren made a hasty decision when my 16 year old was going to move back with his dad here in the UK. He regrets it now,we all do, especially because ryans still with his dad, so where does that leave us?
Darren was under stress with the exam he had to do for being a plumber but hes willing to sit it before we make the move this time.
We moved out during school holidays which put pressure on the kids as they were isolated for nearly 10 weeks, we did alot of things wrong the first time.
We hope to have learnt from them, and after doing the for and against list, Calgary won hands down.

Hi Mandy moo how long were you out in Calgary last time,

ann m Apr 11th 2008 7:48 am

Re: Well...Do we give it another go?
 
Hi mandi - great to hear from you :)

I thought the two big reasons for your return were a) hubby's job and an urgency to get the qualification and b) your son hated here and was lonely and bored. I take it that Ryan is the son in question, and would be staying in the UK this time ? And Aaron is the son that is busting to come back?

Would you/could you get your old job back or something very similar?
Can your hubby take the exams he needs from there?
Do you really want to buy a hairdryer and a vacuum cleaner all over again :p

Wow, it's an expensive hobby - this moving lark - and you did go home pretty quick last time, comparatively speaking - and YOU did it to appease your family. Have they decided that perhaps mum was right afterall !!

You have the benefit of knowing what you're in for this time - but I would say do not rush into this decision - at all.

Very best wishes, and Morwenna's off singing in Vancouver at the mo, but hopefully she'll be back to wish you well soon .....

keep us posted


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