Ways to irritate a Telemarketer:
#1
When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm
so glad you asked because no one these days seems to
care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask
them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the
company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions
about their company for as long as necessary.
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy
a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the hell she could know you from.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family
and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can,
"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you
can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they
cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't
want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"
Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because
you want to write down EVERY WORD.
so glad you asked because no one these days seems to
care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask
them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the
company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions
about their company for as long as necessary.
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy
a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the hell she could know you from.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family
and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can,
"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you
can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they
cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't
want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"
Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because
you want to write down EVERY WORD.
#2
Originally Posted by cardii
When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm
so glad you asked because no one these days seems to
care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask
them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the
company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions
about their company for as long as necessary.
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy
a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the hell she could know you from.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family
and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can,
"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you
can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they
cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't
want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"
Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because
you want to write down EVERY WORD.
so glad you asked because no one these days seems to
care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask
them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the
company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions
about their company for as long as necessary.
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy
a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the hell she could know you from.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family
and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can,
"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you
can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they
cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't
want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"
Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because
you want to write down EVERY WORD.
Some of these people are intelligent, well-educated youngsters doing whatever they can to pay their way through college. They don't like it any more than you do, but it's reliable shiftwork that fits in with their lectures and is flexible enough that they can take timeout for study as needed. Or they are guests in our country, backpacking their way around and spending their tourist dollars to help our economy further up the coast where there is less industry and tourism is the main economy. Some of them are folks between jobs, particularly older ones who have been scrapheaped, feeling marginalised and useless (is this all there is left for me now?) Treating these people this way is akin to treating a waitress like a slave-girl or a bank-teller like sh##*t (and I've been there too.) Selling their products keeps the people who have the "real" jobs in their companies, you know, the managers and people like you who are better than them, in jobs.
The best way to deal with these calls is to say, through a "wall of pleasant" (or bland if that's the best you can muster that day) "No thank you, I'm not interested, and I have to go now goodbye" and just hang upso they can move on to something more productive. They haven't abused you, so why abuse them? Oh what, they've wasted your time? How about the time you've wasting going through this charade (never mind posting your suggestions). No, my friend, they have far more dignity than you.
No, I'm not a telemarketer (but I've been there too). I carry out market research interviews for big wealthy companies who employ big wealthy people who want to stay in their jobs and make more wealth, so they pay us to find out what their customers want. Imagine the outcry when another blue chip company hits the wall cos it misunderstood its market, and all those execs get thrown out of a job. (There goes the Beemer).
Finally remember, a ringing phone is an invitation, not a call to action.
Last edited by TopCat3; May 2nd 2005 at 2:12 am.
#3
Originally Posted by TopCat3
Some of these people are intelligent, well-educated youngsters doing whatever they can to pay their way through college. They don't like it any more than you do, but it's reliable shiftwork that fits in with their lectures and is flexible enough that they can take timeout for study as needed. Or they are guests in our country, backpacking their way around and spending their tourist dollars to help our economy further up the coast where there is less industry and tourism is the main economy. Some of them are folks between jobs, particularly older ones who have been scrapheaped, feeling marginalised and useless (is this all there is left for me now?) Treating these people this way is akin to treating a waitress like a slave-girl or a bank-teller like sh##*t (and I've been there too.) Selling their products keeps the people who have the "real" jobs in their companies, you know, the managers and people like you who are better than them, in jobs.
The best way to deal with these calls is to say, through a "wall of pleasant" (or bland if that's the best you can muster that day) "No thank you, I'm not interested, and I have to go now goodbye" and just hang upso they can move on to something more productive. They haven't abused you, so why abuse them? Oh what, they've wasted your time? How about the time you've wasting going through this charade (never mind posting your suggestions). No, my friend, they have far more dignity than you.
No, I'm not a telemarketer (but I've been there too). I carry out market research interviews for big wealthy companies who employ big wealthy people who want to stay in their jobs and make more wealth, so they pay us to find out what their customers want. Imagine the outcry when another blue chip company hits the wall cos it misunderstood its market, and all those execs get thrown out of a job. (There goes the Beemer).
Finally remember, a ringing phone is an invitation, not a call to action.
The best way to deal with these calls is to say, through a "wall of pleasant" (or bland if that's the best you can muster that day) "No thank you, I'm not interested, and I have to go now goodbye" and just hang upso they can move on to something more productive. They haven't abused you, so why abuse them? Oh what, they've wasted your time? How about the time you've wasting going through this charade (never mind posting your suggestions). No, my friend, they have far more dignity than you.
No, I'm not a telemarketer (but I've been there too). I carry out market research interviews for big wealthy companies who employ big wealthy people who want to stay in their jobs and make more wealth, so they pay us to find out what their customers want. Imagine the outcry when another blue chip company hits the wall cos it misunderstood its market, and all those execs get thrown out of a job. (There goes the Beemer).
Finally remember, a ringing phone is an invitation, not a call to action.
I agree ...most telemarketers don't want to do the job but have too , give them a break and just say no thanks if you have too. The annoying companies that call you week after week after you have said no thanks ....well thats a different matter ..speak to the manager or supervisor and tell them in no uncertain terms what you think of them.
#4
Originally Posted by TopCat3
Some of these people are intelligent, well-educated youngsters doing whatever they can to pay their way through college. They don't like it any more than you do, but it's reliable shiftwork that fits in with their lectures and is flexible enough that they can take timeout for study as needed. Or they are guests in our country, backpacking their way around and spending their tourist dollars to help our economy further up the coast where there is less industry and tourism is the main economy. Some of them are folks between jobs, particularly older ones who have been scrapheaped, feeling marginalised and useless (is this all there is left for me now?) Treating these people this way is akin to treating a waitress like a slave-girl or a bank-teller like sh##*t (and I've been there too.) Selling their products keeps the people who have the "real" jobs in their companies, you know, the managers and people like you who are better than them, in jobs.
The best way to deal with these calls is to say, through a "wall of pleasant" (or bland if that's the best you can muster that day) "No thank you, I'm not interested, and I have to go now goodbye" and just hang upso they can move on to something more productive. They haven't abused you, so why abuse them? Oh what, they've wasted your time? How about the time you've wasting going through this charade (never mind posting your suggestions). No, my friend, they have far more dignity than you.
No, I'm not a telemarketer (but I've been there too). I carry out market research interviews for big wealthy companies who employ big wealthy people who want to stay in their jobs and make more wealth, so they pay us to find out what their customers want. Imagine the outcry when another blue chip company hits the wall cos it misunderstood its market, and all those execs get thrown out of a job. (There goes the Beemer).
Finally remember, a ringing phone is an invitation, not a call to action.
The best way to deal with these calls is to say, through a "wall of pleasant" (or bland if that's the best you can muster that day) "No thank you, I'm not interested, and I have to go now goodbye" and just hang upso they can move on to something more productive. They haven't abused you, so why abuse them? Oh what, they've wasted your time? How about the time you've wasting going through this charade (never mind posting your suggestions). No, my friend, they have far more dignity than you.
No, I'm not a telemarketer (but I've been there too). I carry out market research interviews for big wealthy companies who employ big wealthy people who want to stay in their jobs and make more wealth, so they pay us to find out what their customers want. Imagine the outcry when another blue chip company hits the wall cos it misunderstood its market, and all those execs get thrown out of a job. (There goes the Beemer).
Finally remember, a ringing phone is an invitation, not a call to action.
I had the phone disconnected because of the volume of telemarketing calls, mainly from the phone company itself, I found that dealt with the problem effectively.
I don't see any problem with treating people holding certain occupations badly, wait staff are in an unfortunate position as they have responsibility but no control and so I think one should be considerate when dealing with them, telemarketers however take on the job knowing that they'll get an earful; if they cold call I think they're fair game. Similarly, bank tellers primarily obstruct customers rather than serve them, they deserve all they get. None of these occupations are in the big league of moral reprehensibility but I don't meet lawyers, traders in human slavery, seal cullers or civil servants every day.
#5
Originally Posted by TopCat3
Some of these people are intelligent, well-educated youngsters doing whatever they can to pay their way through college. They don't like it any more than you do, but it's reliable shiftwork that fits in with their lectures and is flexible enough that they can take timeout for study as needed. Or they are guests in our country, backpacking their way around and spending their tourist dollars to help our economy further up the coast where there is less industry and tourism is the main economy. Some of them are folks between jobs, particularly older ones who have been scrapheaped, feeling marginalised and useless (is this all there is left for me now?) Treating these people this way is akin to treating a waitress like a slave-girl or a bank-teller like sh##*t (and I've been there too.) Selling their products keeps the people who have the "real" jobs in their companies, you know, the managers and people like you who are better than them, in jobs.
The best way to deal with these calls is to say, through a "wall of pleasant" (or bland if that's the best you can muster that day) "No thank you, I'm not interested, and I have to go now goodbye" and just hang upso they can move on to something more productive. They haven't abused you, so why abuse them? Oh what, they've wasted your time? How about the time you've wasting going through this charade (never mind posting your suggestions). No, my friend, they have far more dignity than you.
No, I'm not a telemarketer (but I've been there too). I carry out market research interviews for big wealthy companies who employ big wealthy people who want to stay in their jobs and make more wealth, so they pay us to find out what their customers want. Imagine the outcry when another blue chip company hits the wall cos it misunderstood its market, and all those execs get thrown out of a job. (There goes the Beemer).
Finally remember, a ringing phone is an invitation, not a call to action.
The best way to deal with these calls is to say, through a "wall of pleasant" (or bland if that's the best you can muster that day) "No thank you, I'm not interested, and I have to go now goodbye" and just hang upso they can move on to something more productive. They haven't abused you, so why abuse them? Oh what, they've wasted your time? How about the time you've wasting going through this charade (never mind posting your suggestions). No, my friend, they have far more dignity than you.
No, I'm not a telemarketer (but I've been there too). I carry out market research interviews for big wealthy companies who employ big wealthy people who want to stay in their jobs and make more wealth, so they pay us to find out what their customers want. Imagine the outcry when another blue chip company hits the wall cos it misunderstood its market, and all those execs get thrown out of a job. (There goes the Beemer).
Finally remember, a ringing phone is an invitation, not a call to action.
Ok I put this up as a bit of light humor … as in a joke
I’m not saying to do it .
But then to say that they have far more dignity than me
Is very rude of you. You don’t know me
#6
Part Time Poster









Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 4,219
From: Worcestershire











Stuff the “be nice to telemarketersâ€â€¦.
They normally ring me at or around 9.00pm… at home…
I treat them the same as anybody who would arrive at my door at 9.00pm trying to sell me stuff.. and include the religious nut jobs in that
They get abused in a round about way.. I’ll let them talk for ages and then tell them I have no credit… I’ll pretend to have a lawsuit against the people they represent and push hard for details until they hang up… I’ll tell them I work as a government agent and that they’ll be in trouble for calling an unlisted number and ask for there full name..
I current have nearly a 98% telemarketer hang up rate… yep they hang up on me… and the amount of calls I get is dropping….
I consider it a sport... to see how much I can make my wife and or guests laugh before the telemarketer hangs up...
They normally ring me at or around 9.00pm… at home…
I treat them the same as anybody who would arrive at my door at 9.00pm trying to sell me stuff.. and include the religious nut jobs in that
They get abused in a round about way.. I’ll let them talk for ages and then tell them I have no credit… I’ll pretend to have a lawsuit against the people they represent and push hard for details until they hang up… I’ll tell them I work as a government agent and that they’ll be in trouble for calling an unlisted number and ask for there full name..
I current have nearly a 98% telemarketer hang up rate… yep they hang up on me… and the amount of calls I get is dropping….
I consider it a sport... to see how much I can make my wife and or guests laugh before the telemarketer hangs up...
#7
Forum Regular




Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 253


To stop receiving calls from telemarketers, I just had to fill out a DO NOT CALL LIST form through the site of my phone company.
http://www22.verizon.com/about/privacy/nocall/
It works 99% of the time. I rarely (really rarely) receive calls now and if i do, i just say, would you please put me on your DO NOT CALL LIST.
http://www22.verizon.com/about/privacy/nocall/
It works 99% of the time. I rarely (really rarely) receive calls now and if i do, i just say, would you please put me on your DO NOT CALL LIST.
Last edited by Yasmina2005; May 2nd 2005 at 4:56 am.
#8
I treat them the same as anybody who would arrive at my door at 9.00pm trying to sell me stuff.. and include the religious nut jobs in that
Personally I just put the phone down on the table and wait to see how long they'll keep nattering. Some have kept trying to get a response for five minutes or more before they give up.
#9
Hey, when did this forum get so serious...I don't log on for 2 weeks and now joke posters are getting abuse!
To answer the serious posters, as long as there is an equivalent to the UK's telephone preference service (TPS) then I will be happy
To answer the serious posters, as long as there is an equivalent to the UK's telephone preference service (TPS) then I will be happy
#10
Originally Posted by allie2
Hey, when did this forum get so serious...I don't log on for 2 weeks and now joke posters are getting abuse!
To answer the serious posters, as long as there is an equivalent to the UK's telephone preference service (TPS) then I will be happy
To answer the serious posters, as long as there is an equivalent to the UK's telephone preference service (TPS) then I will be happy

...to OP wasn't having a go at you and realise it was a joke (and quite funny at that )
#11
Originally Posted by cardii
When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm
so glad you asked because no one these days seems to
care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask
them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the
company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions
about their company for as long as necessary.
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy
a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the hell she could know you from.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family
and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can,
"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you
can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they
cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't
want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"
Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because
you want to write down EVERY WORD.
so glad you asked because no one these days seems to
care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask
them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the
company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions
about their company for as long as necessary.
Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy
a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the hell she could know you from.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family
and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can,
"I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you
can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they
cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't
want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke.
"Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's ya been?"
Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because
you want to write down EVERY WORD.
#12
Originally Posted by cardii
Ok I put this up as a bit of light humor … as in a joke
I’m not saying to do it .
But then to say that they have far more dignity than me
Is very rude of you. You don’t know me
I’m not saying to do it .
But then to say that they have far more dignity than me
Is very rude of you. You don’t know me

#13
Originally Posted by TopCat3
Yes, I do know you. This is how you introduced yourself to me. You think I feel inspired to get to know you any further? I don't think so.

Calm down mate!!
#14
COME ON GUYS THIS IS SILLY!
The guy was just placing some light hearted fun. If it offends anybody then don't read it. We are all adults here and at the end of the day nobody is saying they don't deserve their jobs they are simply saying it is the way the conduct them that is the problem.Personaly i would be screaming at my own son if he did this to people. I understand they are on commision but when you force people to listen and then not take no for an answer it does extract the urrine!
If you read most of the threads in this forum you will find many similar debates and fun. That's all it is!
We all get on well in this forum and there is no room for abuse off any kind.
If things are that bad and you enjoy an arguement i can certainly reccomend
'TAKE IT OUTSIDE' i will never set foot there again.
come on Hugs and kisses all round!
The guy was just placing some light hearted fun. If it offends anybody then don't read it. We are all adults here and at the end of the day nobody is saying they don't deserve their jobs they are simply saying it is the way the conduct them that is the problem.Personaly i would be screaming at my own son if he did this to people. I understand they are on commision but when you force people to listen and then not take no for an answer it does extract the urrine!
If you read most of the threads in this forum you will find many similar debates and fun. That's all it is!
We all get on well in this forum and there is no room for abuse off any kind.
If things are that bad and you enjoy an arguement i can certainly reccomend
'TAKE IT OUTSIDE' i will never set foot there again.
come on Hugs and kisses all round!
#15
Originally Posted by babyblue
COME ON GUYS THIS IS SILLY!
The guy was just placing some light hearted fun. If it offends anybody then don't read it. We are all adults here and at the end of the day nobody is saying they don't deserve their jobs they are simply saying it is the way the conduct them that is the problem.Personaly i would be screaming at my own son if he did this to people. I understand they are on commision but when you force people to listen and then not take no for an answer it does extract the urrine!
If you read most of the threads in this forum you will find many similar debates and fun. That's all it is!
We all get on well in this forum and there is no room for abuse off any kind.
If things are that bad and you enjoy an arguement i can certainly reccomend
'TAKE IT OUTSIDE' i will never set foot there again.
come on Hugs and kisses all round!
The guy was just placing some light hearted fun. If it offends anybody then don't read it. We are all adults here and at the end of the day nobody is saying they don't deserve their jobs they are simply saying it is the way the conduct them that is the problem.Personaly i would be screaming at my own son if he did this to people. I understand they are on commision but when you force people to listen and then not take no for an answer it does extract the urrine!
If you read most of the threads in this forum you will find many similar debates and fun. That's all it is!
We all get on well in this forum and there is no room for abuse off any kind.
If things are that bad and you enjoy an arguement i can certainly reccomend
'TAKE IT OUTSIDE' i will never set foot there again.
come on Hugs and kisses all round!

That said, I am impressed by their ingenuity, a relative works for a firm here that offers personal loans through print ads; there aren't actually any loans, of course, they just collect a fee for pretending to arrange the loan. She has some great tales of teaching people how to find and work a fax machine, what a money order is and so on. It's just astonishing how many functionally illiterate people there are and how far they can be tricked into going; she even gets them to call her back on a 900 number so they have to pay to be fleeced. The big cold callers here are Bell and Rogers, neither of them are involved in anything explicitly illegal but they're not reputable companies either, they both have nasty histories of negative option billing and other questionable practises. It's wrong to schill for them.
I think telemarketers are filth, enterprising, but filth, they're a fair target for any sort of abuse or time wasting.



