Very Canadian joke (sort of).
Feb 18th 2005 | 6:02 pm
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,715
Very Canadian joke (sort of).
I was reminded about this recently. It's been around for years (it's probably issued with Canadian birth certificate by now 
) but I thought I'd post it here for any new and soon to be Canadians and those who might appreciate the humour in it.
----
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a U.S. naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, DIVERT YOUR course."
Canadians: "No. I say again, you divert YOUR course."
Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north...that's one-five-degrees North, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship."
Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."
) but I thought I'd post it here for any new and soon to be Canadians and those who might appreciate the humour in it. ----
This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a U.S. naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.
Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."
Canadians: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."
Americans: "This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, DIVERT YOUR course."
Canadians: "No. I say again, you divert YOUR course."
Americans: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers, and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north...that's one-five-degrees North, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship."
Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."
Feb 18th 2005 | 9:30 pm
#2
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 747
From: JAFAland, NZ
Re: Very Canadian joke (sort of).
Is this REALLY a true story? :scared:
I'm amazed they just didn't bomb the cr*p out of them, the americans know how to treat their friends!!
I'm amazed they just didn't bomb the cr*p out of them, the americans know how to treat their friends!!
Feb 18th 2005 | 10:00 pm
#3
Just Joined
Joined: Mar 2003
Posts: 26
From: Cheshire
Re: Very Canadian joke (sort of).
There are other versions of the same tale: in this one it's the Brits who are at fault...
Subject: You Gotta Love the Irish
Where this came from is a mystery. Steven Covey used this in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which was published in 1989.
This is the transcription of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98.
IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
IRISH: Negative. I say again,! you will have to divert YOUR course.
BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
IRISH: We are a lighthouse................Your Call.
Is it true?? Probably not....See Quote below.
"The captain of a naval vessel believes another ship is on a collision course and demands they change course. The other vessel refuses and demands the captain change his course. Back and forth and back and forth and yada, yada, yada, it turns out the other ship is actually a lighthouse.
According to the U.S. Navy Office of Information, it is simply “an old joke like those found in popular magazines.� The same exchange is said to have taken place between a U.S. and Canadian ship off Newfoundland in 1995.
In this version, the account is credited to author Steven Covey, who does kind of mention this in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. However, Covey is quoting a story by Frank Koch that appeared in the Naval Institute magazine Proceedings. It later showed up, attributed to Koch, in a book called In the Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado. The story is clearly fictional and does not make any effort to pass itself of as an actual event.
Covey's version is different from this. In his account, the nationality of the vessel is not mentioned, but presumably a United States battleship, and communication is by way of a signalman. This account claims an event that happened in 1998 was described in a book published in 1989.
This version pits a group of ships, apparently sailing without radar, led by the British aircraft carrier HMS Britannia against a lighthouse off the coast of Kerry, which is in the extreme southwest of Ireland. Unfortunately, the British Navy has no aircraft carriers by that name, only a royal yacht. According to the Royal Navy Website, there are three aircraft carriers but none could be called “the second largest� because the Invincible, Illustrious, and the Ark Royal all weigh the same and have the same number of crew members. "
–Steven Dahlman (04-Oct-02)
Subject: You Gotta Love the Irish
Where this came from is a mystery. Steven Covey used this in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, which was published in 1989.
This is the transcription of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the British and the Irish off the coast of Kerry, October 1998. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98.
IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.
IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.
BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
IRISH: Negative. I say again,! you will have to divert YOUR course.
BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
IRISH: We are a lighthouse................Your Call.
Is it true?? Probably not....See Quote below.
"The captain of a naval vessel believes another ship is on a collision course and demands they change course. The other vessel refuses and demands the captain change his course. Back and forth and back and forth and yada, yada, yada, it turns out the other ship is actually a lighthouse.
According to the U.S. Navy Office of Information, it is simply “an old joke like those found in popular magazines.� The same exchange is said to have taken place between a U.S. and Canadian ship off Newfoundland in 1995.
In this version, the account is credited to author Steven Covey, who does kind of mention this in his book, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. However, Covey is quoting a story by Frank Koch that appeared in the Naval Institute magazine Proceedings. It later showed up, attributed to Koch, in a book called In the Eye of the Storm by Max Lucado. The story is clearly fictional and does not make any effort to pass itself of as an actual event.
Covey's version is different from this. In his account, the nationality of the vessel is not mentioned, but presumably a United States battleship, and communication is by way of a signalman. This account claims an event that happened in 1998 was described in a book published in 1989.
This version pits a group of ships, apparently sailing without radar, led by the British aircraft carrier HMS Britannia against a lighthouse off the coast of Kerry, which is in the extreme southwest of Ireland. Unfortunately, the British Navy has no aircraft carriers by that name, only a royal yacht. According to the Royal Navy Website, there are three aircraft carriers but none could be called “the second largest� because the Invincible, Illustrious, and the Ark Royal all weigh the same and have the same number of crew members. "
–Steven Dahlman (04-Oct-02)
