philcUK

Vancouver (Reuters)

Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2005 - Revenge of the Commuters

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today,
as an additional ¼ centimeter of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing
the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of
damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is
some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are
being flown in. With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite
near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes
before venturing out.

Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for
emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them
through Vancouver's most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire
reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have
been shocked to learn that their SUV's actually have four wheel drive,
although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast
implants. Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority
reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25
below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.

"The government has to do something," snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. "I
didn't pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be
treated like someone from Toronto."

Rich_007

LOL absolutely first class

Also true that two yoga classes have been cancelled in Yaletown and reports also in from Kitsilano of serious damage to the quality of meditation. Rebecca Yandle said yesterday "yeah it's kinda heavy, the vibe is affecting my whole circadian being man, I just can't get through to my inner self".

Counselling sessions have been scheduled to help affected urbanites handle the stress of being in such adverse socio-economic situations.

Heavy snow in the Interior and Kootenays has played havoc with the cross border dope runs, hitting the BC alt-economy for a predicted $5m black hole. The media expects a serious Christmas shortage of bud. Dudes are reportedly planning to stay in bed all over the festive season and convenience stores have already sold out of Cheetos, however emergency supplies are being sought from wholesalers in Seattle, Tacoma and Portland.

Yeah man.

Rich.

willmore

You two are SO lucky! Although snow was predicted here - it missed us completely only the frigging cold weather stayed!

Voyager970

AWWWW !!!

Willmore you poor wee soul !!!!

How art thou me dear, keeping fit and well I hope

Heres a wee joke to cheer you up



Watch your speed !!!!!!
While I was driving down the highway the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been)
I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman on the other side with a radar gun, laying in wait.

The policeman pulled me over, walked up to the car and, with that
classic, patronising smirk, asked:

"Runway too short?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The policeman was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher??

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up
to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."

Then the policeman asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do
you do with a six-foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give it a radar gun and park it behind
a bridge..."

Speeding ticket: £105.00

Court costs: £45

Look on copper's face: Priceless


ENJOY the cold weather

Eddie

Rich_007

Aww.......here's a snowscene for ya
Just like being in Scandinavia.

Rich.

dingbat

And another from the Fraser Valley BC - view from my back garden at the moment.

ClareBC

OMG - what a fantastic view!!!!! (Hm, no emicon for envy ... )

Clare

Atlantic Xpat

Winter arrived in Eastern Newfoundland at precisely 1330hrs local time!
10 mins of blizzard from nowhere thats left a dusting. More to come during the week with Thursday calling for snow and blowing snow. So I'm off to get the snow tires fitted to Mrs AX's motah this afternoon!

Bit of a change from last Weds. Pic shows Conception Bay, Little Bell and Kelly's Island. Orange blob (not the annoying speck from a dirty lense) is anchored tanker, one of several used to shuttle oil & gas from the Hibernia and Terra Nova offshore installations. Oh yes and Mrs AX and her folks pooch.

Rich_007

Hey c'mon you have the Lions, Seymour, Cypress, the Inlet, Downtown, Stanley Pk, Island, Mount Olympus, Howe Sound, etc.

That's more'n enough......no sympathy from this angle

Rich

willmore

Beautiful photo!

willmore

That's an absolutely beautiful photo - what a fantastic view!

Karma sent!

ClareBC

but I have to walk outside my house, or even drive for 5 whole minutes to get those views (snigger!! )

Calgal

What a lovely view!

Here's my back yard view (cheating a bit as it isn't a winter shot)

Calgal

OOps! Sorry - got mixed up with the winter pics thread

Jingle

Sorry Phil - appear to have repeated this story in my post - I've been away and didn't see your earlier post ..... I'll try and be a bit more original next time!! J