Thought you might like this!!
Dec 2nd 2005, 6:39 pm
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: pitt meadows
Posts: 174
Thought you might like this!!
This was sent to me via e-mail and i thought i would share it with you all.
Diary of a New Snow Shoveler
December 8th: 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the
season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from
heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt
like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9th: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!Can
there be a more lovely place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first
time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway
and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came
along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I
got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12th: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob
says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor
December 14th: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
dropped to - 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
took my breath away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do
quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back into shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15th: 20 inches in the forecast. Sold my van and bought a
4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in
case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in
Alaska after all..
December 16th: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed
for an hour, which I think was very cruel
December 17th: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. God I hate it when she's right.
More shoveling. Took all day. Stupid snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're to
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's
lying..
December 22nd: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of white !@#% fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't
melt 'till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go
out to shovel and then I had to go to the washroom. By the time I got undressed,
went, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire
Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he
says he's too busy. I think the guy is lying.
December 23rd: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she...nuts? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did, but I think she's lying.
December 24th 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the
SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the
snow . I know he hides around the corner and waits for
me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and
open our presents, but I was busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25th: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the
@#$%%^&*(!-slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes
my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by
asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I
have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to
kill her
December 26th: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here?
It was ALL HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27th: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28th Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. SHE's
driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29th: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever hear. How dumb
does he think I am?
December 30th: The roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me
for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home
to her Mother. 9" predicted.
December 31st: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8th: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. But why am I tied to the bed?????
Diary of a New Snow Shoveler
December 8th: 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the
season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from
heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt
like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9th: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!Can
there be a more lovely place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first
time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway
and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came
along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I
got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12th: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob
says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor
December 14th: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
dropped to - 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
took my breath away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do
quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back into shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15th: 20 inches in the forecast. Sold my van and bought a
4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in
case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in
Alaska after all..
December 16th: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed
for an hour, which I think was very cruel
December 17th: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. God I hate it when she's right.
More shoveling. Took all day. Stupid snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're to
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's
lying..
December 22nd: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of white !@#% fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't
melt 'till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go
out to shovel and then I had to go to the washroom. By the time I got undressed,
went, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire
Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he
says he's too busy. I think the guy is lying.
December 23rd: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she...nuts? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did, but I think she's lying.
December 24th 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the
SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the
snow . I know he hides around the corner and waits for
me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and
open our presents, but I was busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25th: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the
@#$%%^&*(!-slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes
my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by
asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I
have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to
kill her
December 26th: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here?
It was ALL HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27th: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28th Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. SHE's
driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29th: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever hear. How dumb
does he think I am?
December 30th: The roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me
for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home
to her Mother. 9" predicted.
December 31st: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8th: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. But why am I tied to the bed?????
Dec 2nd 2005, 7:10 pm
#2
Guinness is good for you.
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Kamloops
Posts: 694
Re: Thought you might like this!!
Awsome.
Sent this to my work collegues here. I am still on Dec 12th at the moment but this gives me a clear visual map for the evolutionary process of becomming a Canadian.
Presumably at some stage later after the white Pill's the final transformation begins.
Sent this to my work collegues here. I am still on Dec 12th at the moment but this gives me a clear visual map for the evolutionary process of becomming a Canadian.
Presumably at some stage later after the white Pill's the final transformation begins.
Originally Posted by poll72000
This was sent to me via e-mail and i thought i would share it with you all.
Diary of a New Snow Shoveler
December 8th: 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the
season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from
heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt
like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9th: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!Can
there be a more lovely place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first
time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway
and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came
along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I
got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12th: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob
says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor
December 14th: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
dropped to - 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
took my breath away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do
quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back into shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15th: 20 inches in the forecast. Sold my van and bought a
4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in
case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in
Alaska after all..
December 16th: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed
for an hour, which I think was very cruel
December 17th: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. God I hate it when she's right.
More shoveling. Took all day. Stupid snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're to
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's
lying..
December 22nd: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of white !@#% fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't
melt 'till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go
out to shovel and then I had to go to the washroom. By the time I got undressed,
went, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire
Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he
says he's too busy. I think the guy is lying.
December 23rd: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she...nuts? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did, but I think she's lying.
December 24th 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the
SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the
snow . I know he hides around the corner and waits for
me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and
open our presents, but I was busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25th: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the
@#$%%^&*(!-slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes
my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by
asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I
have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to
kill her
December 26th: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here?
It was ALL HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27th: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28th Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. SHE's
driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29th: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever hear. How dumb
does he think I am?
December 30th: The roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me
for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home
to her Mother. 9" predicted.
December 31st: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8th: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. But why am I tied to the bed?????
Diary of a New Snow Shoveler
December 8th: 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the
season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by
the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from
heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt
like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9th: We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow
covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!Can
there be a more lovely place in the whole world?
Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first
time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway
and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came
along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I
got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12th: The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely
have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob
says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such
a nice man I'm glad he's our neighbor
December 14th: Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
dropped to - 20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind
took my breath away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and
sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon
and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do
quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get
back into shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15th: 20 inches in the forecast. Sold my van and bought a
4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra
shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in
case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in
Alaska after all..
December 16th: Ice storm this morning. Fell on my ass on the ice in
the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed
for an hour, which I think was very cruel
December 17th: Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile blankets
on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
irritate her. God I hate it when she's right.
More shoveling. Took all day. Stupid snowplow came by twice.
Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're to
busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's
lying..
December 22nd: Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
inches of white !@#% fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't
melt 'till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go
out to shovel and then I had to go to the washroom. By the time I got undressed,
went, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire
Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter but he
says he's too busy. I think the guy is lying.
December 23rd: Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The
wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning.
What is she...nuts? Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago?
She says she did, but I think she's lying.
December 24th 6". Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the
shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the
SOB who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the
snow . I know he hides around the corner and waits for
me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100
miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and
open our presents, but I was busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25th: Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the
@#$%%^&*(!-slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes
my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by
asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel.
The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I
have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to
kill her
December 26th: Still snowed in. Why did I ever move here?
It was ALL HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27th: Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28th Warmed up to above -50. Still snowed in. SHE's
driving me crazy!!!!!
December 29th: 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or
it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever hear. How dumb
does he think I am?
December 30th: The roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me
for a million dollars for the bump on his head. The wife went home
to her Mother. 9" predicted.
December 31st: Set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
January 8th: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills
they keep giving me. But why am I tied to the bed?????
Dec 2nd 2005, 7:11 pm
#3
Moderαtor Emeritus
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,768
Re: Thought you might like this!!
Originally Posted by Airseir
Presumably at some stage later after the white Pill's the final transformation begins.
Dec 2nd 2005, 7:13 pm
#4
Guinness is good for you.
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Kamloops
Posts: 694
Re: Thought you might like this!!
hmmmmm
looks like I will have to get some kids from some where - and then give them back in spring.
looks like I will have to get some kids from some where - and then give them back in spring.
Originally Posted by iaink
Naaah, you have kids and then pass the shovelling duties on to them
Dec 2nd 2005, 7:51 pm
#5
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Flat Oxfordshire
Posts: 1,709
Re: Thought you might like this!!
Originally Posted by iaink
Naaah, you have kids and then pass the shovelling duties on to them
Last edited by Posidrive; Dec 2nd 2005 at 8:50 pm. Reason: Even worse spelling than usual
Dec 2nd 2005, 7:57 pm
#6
Lotus-eater
Joined: Jan 2004
Location: Cascadian Autonomous Elysian Region
Posts: 5,069
Re: Thought you might like this!!
Now it's clear why Canadian houses have wider driveways and more space between homes.....ya just need at least a clear ten feet to stack up the monster snow pile that's created and without that space the snow shoveller would be screwed 
Rich.
Rich.
Dec 2nd 2005, 8:00 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,015
Re: Thought you might like this!!
Unfortunately, the way I have found it is with kids is that they are only too willing to help - when they are too young to be of much use or do the job properly. When they get old enough to be really useful - that is when they are too busy or won't get out of bed!!
Dec 4th 2005, 5:45 am
#8
Loving it here!
Joined: May 2003
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 1,198
Re: Thought you might like this!!
the Canadian Snowbirds version
April 30th...
Florida is fantastic! Just got here and love it already. Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
May 14th...
Really heating up. Got to 89° today. Not a problem, I live in an air-conditioned home and drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
June 5th...
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. NO MORE SHOVELING SNOW EITHER! Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 1st...
The temperature hasn't been below 90° all week, not even at night. Where are those ocean breezes we heard about? Still seems hot. Getting used to it will take a while, I guess. I sure miss my LP collection, though. I'll have to remember not to leave anything made out of plastic in my car. Got one of those fuzzy steering wheel covers - cheaper than the burn ointment for my hands. I always wondered what burnt flesh smelled like.
July 15th...
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work - what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though - got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th...
I miss our cat, Abby. He snuck into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, he'd swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opened the door he exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids he ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and poop. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th...
Ocean breezes, my [#@!$]. Hot is hot! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Only hope for a break in the heat would be a hurricane.
July 30th...
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Swatting the swamp mosquitoes that are as big as B-52's. $1,500 in darn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th...
100°... Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90°. The electric bill is almost as much as the house payment. And two old lady drivers almost ran me off the road. I hate this state.
Aug 8th...
If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his head off. [#@!$] heat! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!
Aug 10th...
The weather report might as well be a [#@!$] recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot for two #@*& months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. And whoever came up with the statement, "it may be hot, but at least you don't have to shovel it" should die from heat exhaustion. Doesn't it ever rain in this God-forsaken place?
Aug 12th...
Welcome to Hell... Temperature got to 102 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Aug 13th...
Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell and drove the damned roaches out of the ground. I wasn't aware they could fly!
Aug 14th...
Welcome to Hurricane Charley - the Lincoln is now floating somewhere in the Caribbean with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving back to Toronto where all you have to worry about is getting mugged.
I hope this state breaks in half and floats to Cuba...
April 30th...
Florida is fantastic! Just got here and love it already. Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
May 14th...
Really heating up. Got to 89° today. Not a problem, I live in an air-conditioned home and drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
June 5th...
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. NO MORE SHOVELING SNOW EITHER! Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 1st...
The temperature hasn't been below 90° all week, not even at night. Where are those ocean breezes we heard about? Still seems hot. Getting used to it will take a while, I guess. I sure miss my LP collection, though. I'll have to remember not to leave anything made out of plastic in my car. Got one of those fuzzy steering wheel covers - cheaper than the burn ointment for my hands. I always wondered what burnt flesh smelled like.
July 15th...
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work - what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though - got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th...
I miss our cat, Abby. He snuck into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, he'd swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opened the door he exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids he ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and poop. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th...
Ocean breezes, my [#@!$]. Hot is hot! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Only hope for a break in the heat would be a hurricane.
July 30th...
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Swatting the swamp mosquitoes that are as big as B-52's. $1,500 in darn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th...
100°... Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90°. The electric bill is almost as much as the house payment. And two old lady drivers almost ran me off the road. I hate this state.
Aug 8th...
If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his head off. [#@!$] heat! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!
Aug 10th...
The weather report might as well be a [#@!$] recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot for two #@*& months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. And whoever came up with the statement, "it may be hot, but at least you don't have to shovel it" should die from heat exhaustion. Doesn't it ever rain in this God-forsaken place?
Aug 12th...
Welcome to Hell... Temperature got to 102 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Aug 13th...
Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell and drove the damned roaches out of the ground. I wasn't aware they could fly!
Aug 14th...
Welcome to Hurricane Charley - the Lincoln is now floating somewhere in the Caribbean with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving back to Toronto where all you have to worry about is getting mugged.
I hope this state breaks in half and floats to Cuba...
Dec 4th 2005, 11:29 am
#9
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 1,294
Re: Thought you might like this!!
Originally Posted by ClareBC
the Canadian Snowbirds version
April 30th...
Florida is fantastic! Just got here and love it already. Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
May 14th...
Really heating up. Got to 89° today. Not a problem, I live in an air-conditioned home and drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
June 5th...
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. NO MORE SHOVELING SNOW EITHER! Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 1st...
The temperature hasn't been below 90° all week, not even at night. Where are those ocean breezes we heard about? Still seems hot. Getting used to it will take a while, I guess. I sure miss my LP collection, though. I'll have to remember not to leave anything made out of plastic in my car. Got one of those fuzzy steering wheel covers - cheaper than the burn ointment for my hands. I always wondered what burnt flesh smelled like.
July 15th...
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work - what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though - got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th...
I miss our cat, Abby. He snuck into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, he'd swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opened the door he exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids he ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and poop. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th...
Ocean breezes, my [#@!$]. Hot is hot! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Only hope for a break in the heat would be a hurricane.
July 30th...
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Swatting the swamp mosquitoes that are as big as B-52's. $1,500 in darn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th...
100°... Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90°. The electric bill is almost as much as the house payment. And two old lady drivers almost ran me off the road. I hate this state.
Aug 8th...
If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his head off. [#@!$] heat! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!
Aug 10th...
The weather report might as well be a [#@!$] recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot for two #@*& months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. And whoever came up with the statement, "it may be hot, but at least you don't have to shovel it" should die from heat exhaustion. Doesn't it ever rain in this God-forsaken place?
Aug 12th...
Welcome to Hell... Temperature got to 102 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Aug 13th...
Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell and drove the damned roaches out of the ground. I wasn't aware they could fly!
Aug 14th...
Welcome to Hurricane Charley - the Lincoln is now floating somewhere in the Caribbean with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving back to Toronto where all you have to worry about is getting mugged.
I hope this state breaks in half and floats to Cuba...
April 30th...
Florida is fantastic! Just got here and love it already. Now this is a state that knows how to live! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
May 14th...
Really heating up. Got to 89° today. Not a problem, I live in an air-conditioned home and drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
June 5th...
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me. NO MORE SHOVELING SNOW EITHER! Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
July 1st...
The temperature hasn't been below 90° all week, not even at night. Where are those ocean breezes we heard about? Still seems hot. Getting used to it will take a while, I guess. I sure miss my LP collection, though. I'll have to remember not to leave anything made out of plastic in my car. Got one of those fuzzy steering wheel covers - cheaper than the burn ointment for my hands. I always wondered what burnt flesh smelled like.
July 15th...
Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.) Missed two days of work - what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though - got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th...
I miss our cat, Abby. He snuck into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, he'd swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and just as I opened the door he exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids he ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and poop. No more pets in this heat!
July 25th...
Ocean breezes, my [#@!$]. Hot is hot! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts. Only hope for a break in the heat would be a hurricane.
July 30th...
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. Swatting the swamp mosquitoes that are as big as B-52's. $1,500 in darn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
Aug 4th...
100°... Finally got the air conditioner fixed today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down to about 90°. The electric bill is almost as much as the house payment. And two old lady drivers almost ran me off the road. I hate this state.
Aug 8th...
If another wise jerk cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to tear his head off. [#@!$] heat! By the time I get to work, the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted Garfield!
Aug 10th...
The weather report might as well be a [#@!$] recording: Hot and sunny. It's been too hot for two #@*& months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. And whoever came up with the statement, "it may be hot, but at least you don't have to shovel it" should die from heat exhaustion. Doesn't it ever rain in this God-forsaken place?
Aug 12th...
Welcome to Hell... Temperature got to 102 today. Forgot to crack the window and blew the windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1,500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
Aug 13th...
Worst day of the summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell and drove the damned roaches out of the ground. I wasn't aware they could fly!
Aug 14th...
Welcome to Hurricane Charley - the Lincoln is now floating somewhere in the Caribbean with its new $500 windshield. That does it, we're moving back to Toronto where all you have to worry about is getting mugged.
I hope this state breaks in half and floats to Cuba...
