...and then what?
 

So you've been focusing on your move to Canada for anything up to 5 years or so. You at last made it over the Atlantic and you are all settled into your new home, job and life...

Do you then wonder sometimes "what's next?"? As though you've lost focus?

Basically what do you all dream about once you're settled into your new lives in Canada?

(For all those sceptics out there, I have lived in 3 different countries over my life so I don't want to hear any "oh well you'd better not come here" type comments!!)

I'm just curious to know where you have shifted your dreams to... :wub:

Re: ...and then what?
 

Visiting my children in the countries to which they have emigrated from Canada.

Re: ...and then what?
 

Focus on living the dream, surely?

Re: ...and then what?
 

Start moaning about everything being different and how much you hate:

1. The lack of (insert something - usually cheese);
2. That the people are (insert something the people do that really annoys you);
3. People thinking your are Australian - this does not apply if you actually ARE Australian;
4. Paying for (insert something you now have to pay for that you never did before - receiving text messages, using an ATM)
:D

Re: ...and then what?
 

It's the same shit, only with a different shovel. Honestly it really is.

Yes you may get a bigger house, more access to outdoor pursuits and possibly a snowmobile thrown in, but at the end of the day you still work, pay bills and carry on family life much the same as you did in the UK.

The dream for me now is my retirement.....20 years to dream.

Re: ...and then what?
 

I now dream of being able to afford to be a Snowbird, something I never knew I wanted to be:rofl:

Re: ...and then what?
 

Well if you have found a great job already, then why not focus on a successful career in your field?

Otherwise, focus on learning new hobbies, skills, making new friends, and enjoying the Canadian experience, it's why you are there after all.

Re: ...and then what?
 

as Flyingscotties and the others say embrace the differences good and bad.

We made good expat and Canadian friends who encouraged us to take part in all the outdoor sports. Taught us to bleed green (yes we are Riders fans). Invited us to sample perogies :thumbs_down:

You have to get out there and let them know you are here and happy to join in. Good luck :thumbup:

Re: ...and then what?
 

Yep, 2 years into my life in Canada this is something I'm having a hard time with. Now I've achieved my dream it sort of feels like I don't 'want' anything anymore. I need a new motivator but haven't really found one yet. I'm about to turn 30 and can't really identify any goals for the next decade. It's strange. I'm hoping my impending first trip back to England will help provide some perspective.

All the best with your move :)

Re: ...and then what?
 

I'm always amazed when people say stuff like 'same shit, different shovel'....is that what your life is really about?!

I reckon anyone contemplating a move abroad should be doing it for the sheer love of the destination country. If it's to 'fill a void' or to look for a 'new challenge' etc I reckon think again...

Re: ...and then what?
 

In terms of countries, yes, life wouldn't be very different in the UK, the US or Australia. Rural India or Antartica, they'd be different.

Re: ...and then what?
 

What I'm saying really is that I think it's sad that people reduce their lives to that phrase....plus I reckon living somewhere like Birmingham or some industrial rainy city in northern England; or somewhere like Limerick, Ireland (I'm from Ireland) is a tad different to living in New York, LA or Sydney.

Re: ...and then what?
 

Limerick I don't know but I know a lot of north American cities quite well and I'd say that they all support a few lifestyles well enough. All have their relentless suburbs with their chain stores, all have the "funky" district, Queen West in Toronto, the flats in Cleveland, the Village in NYC, many have an expensive historical section, such as the gaslight district of Cincinnati, or, well you get the idea. People slot themselves into suburbia or faux bohemianism or yuppie condo living, few live in any way not anticipated by developers and not analyzed at conferences of developers from across the continent. It's not only the same shit but the same shit planned by someone else.

Signed,

Another Mr. Ordinary.

Re: ...and then what?
 

I hear you. Many things about my life are now very different. I think what people mean is that the mechanics of life continue regardless of location, you work, you eat, you sleep and you function in daily life as before. The rest is what you make of it.

Re: ...and then what?
 

is the name of your town for real?:eek:

Re: ...and then what?
 

How can you not like perogies:confused::thumbsup:

Re: ...and then what?
 

There is such a place.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dildo,_...d_and_Labrador

I don't think he lives there.

Re: ...and then what?
 

Just like how you fell in love with Vancouver eh? :lol:

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...86#post8914686

Re: ...and then what?
 

Think of it in the same way as when you buy your "dream" car or bag your "dream" woman or man. You've worked hard to get it, now enjoy the ride.

If you obtain it/her, you don't simply pat yourself on the back and immediately look for a replacement* "dream". If the latter does rear its head, you made the wrong choice :)


*Although i admit, some do.

Re: ...and then what?
 

<snigger>

Re: ...and then what?
 

Snigger all you like! That's my point - I'm amazed how so many people on here who have obviously invested huge amounts of time and money into emigrating come back going 'same shit different place' etc; as if just by moving somewhere new would make their lives different. I had never been to Canada before - there'd be no way on earth I'd be making a permanent move without having extensive experience of the country first.

Doubt I've made any sense there but maybe someone will catch my drift! :)

Re: ...and then what?
 

I agree. It never fails to amaze me when people invest lots of time and money into moving to another country (permanent or temporarily) without really knowing what they're moving to and having never visited before. It doesn't, however, surprise me when they're disappointed because it doesn't match what they had conjured up in their minds.

Re: ...and then what?
 

On the other hand, plenty of people move with no prior experience of the country at all, myself being one of them. If I could have afforded a sight seeing trip, I would have done it. But as it was, I could not, so I gave it a shot regardless.

Maybe people who just wing it have less preconceived expectations about what their life will be like, less of a comparison to be made with holiday time. I think there's a lot to be said for throwing caution to the wind and just doing it.

Re: ...and then what?
 

I think it's good to have a variety of dreams rather than just one which is just moving geographical location. I've got at least two dreams on the go right now :P

Re: ...and then what?
 

I like that idea.
My Mum brought me up to believe I should always have a dream so I think when I get to Canada I shall work on my personal development again for starters...

Re: ...and then what?
 

I think you missed the point of my post :)

Re: ...and then what?
 

See my 'Canniversary - 6 months in Calgary, AB' thread.

Here in Calgary, I am about to earn double what I earned in the UK as I have managed to land a contract with an oil company pretty easily.

I am also about to become an 'incorporated' contractor, although I would prefer to be 'staff'.

It took 4 or 5 years to prepare myself for getting work in Calgary. Therefore, in preparation I moved from the field of science over to major engineering projects and it was the best move I made to be honest. I built up 4 years experience in my new field and managed to hit the jackpot and land a contract after 6 months of being here.

And so, I have achieved the landing a job goal I had prepared myself for, my other dreams/goals are:

1) Get my fitness back/lose 3-4 stone. Have experienced considerable stress over the last 3 years and my health and fitness has suffered as a result.
2) We haven't bought our house yet and so there is that to look forward to. There is also the buying things for the house which I love doing.
3) Once we both have jobs, we'll be able to afford to travel to Central and S.America and explore Canada more. We have done a couple of roadtrips in BC which were fantastic.
4) I would at some point like to do a PhD - more likely going to be when I retire!
5) Continue to put away enough savings and pension to enjoy our retirement.

Lots of stuff, haven't listed them all here.

I don't see why dreams or goals should disappear once you have achieved the getting to Canada dream.

Re: ...and then what?
 

Hi,
Great post and one that I can totally relate to and if that is how you feel don't worry you are certainly not alone there are loads of us out there. You have identified another distinct group of people who exist and unless you are one it's really hard to explain to others about how you feel and why you leave places after trying so hard to get there. I have tried to explain to friends and fellow expats that I have met overseas and who have settled in their new country but they don't really understand why I would do it all again and again. This group that I fall into is no better or worse than the regular expats. they just find what they really want is much harder if not impossible to find. I have jokingly been called a pikey or gypsy. However, this is not a new concept look at the Nomads or thousand of years ago this group would have been the hunter gatherers as opposed the the agricultural lot. I also believe the Psychologists would class this group as risk takers.

You will probably get a lot of adverse comments from some expats who live in the various countries that you move to and who either have, or claim to have found Utopia. Many of these people don't really understand that that you are not really whinging about your new country but you have not exactly found what you are looking for yet and you know it and want to keep searching. Many also wrongly believe that you have made your bed so you should lie in it, nonsense.

Judging by many of the posts that I have read over the years on BE, I think that some folks will also wrongly look at your desire to move on or return to UK as a type of failure and that you could not hack it or that you should have made more effort or given it longer to integrate. These types of comments are often made because the psyche of this particular group of gypsy types is not fully understood by many who don't have the gypsy syndrome, walk a mile in my shoes and all that wisdom stuff comes to mind . I also suspect from your original post that this will probably not be your last move either so you may as well get the darts and map out now.

I too have spent many years "walking the earth" I am now on my fourth migration and after almost 5 years here, I am now looking to my next move to another country probably next year. I have been here long enough to form an informed opinion which I will not get into, but Canada is probably not the place where my dreams would lie or that I would personally, want to end my days. I freely admit that this is as much down to me as it is with what I think is wrong Canada. However, it has been worth a look and has taught me not so much what I want but what I don't really want. What is worse is that I have also got another move if my next planned move does not work out. I can say that with almost certainty because I know that given my past experiences, I will probably want to move again in a few years but what the hell, it's fun and I say each to their own.

Before anyone tries to ask me what the point of all the moving around is especially knowing that I will probably move again, don't bother because unless you are one of the aforementioned group of poor unfortunate lost souls who will probably come back as ghosts, you probably won't understand especially if you feel that you have found your own niche in life.

Based on my own experiences, I still get excited but I personally no longer look at moves around the world as dreams but more like adventures or just an opportunity to gain a new experience. Nor do I now really look at them as major upheavals, this is a concept that I believe only really exists in some minds but not others and depends on how one looks at it and indeed, many actually thrive on it. I no longer believe that I will personally find the total contentment I once thought I would. However, now that I know this, I might as well see and experience as many countries as I can and cram as much into my life as possible before I pop off.

With regards to moving around and children's development, I can also say that the many moves I have made has not affected my kids in any way as they are both very well rounded and have gained a form of worldly intelligence that they can draw on for the rest of their lives. They now understand that there is more than one way to look at things and that many things are culturally specific as opposed to the same everywhere. They are now very outgoing, probably more mature than many of their peers and tend to make friends very quickly and easily.

Both my kids have also discovered that they have to make the effort to integrate in any new environment and have now learnt to do this really well. They no longer rely on the security that familiarity of friends and surroundings brings and can now quickly and easily adapt to and function with confidence in new environments. Both are happy that they have moved around and experienced life in different forms.

There will be many who argue about the impact of moving on a child's education, but as for the impact on my own 2 children's academic achievements, I have found that there has been no detriment whatsoever. One now has a Masters degree and the other gains their BA next year, both attended numerous schools and universities and loved it.

As I said, great post which will no doubt stimulate a debate.
J

Re: ...and then what?
 

There was a point?

Re: ...and then what?
 

What about all the thousands upon thousands of Brit families who emigrated to Canada, Oz, and NZ in the 60's, 70"s and 80's with no prior recce trip?
I bet you any money you like hardly any of them came back. If they didn't like their new country it was tough shit.

People these days are soft.

Re: ...and then what?
 

Well they didn't go back for obvious reasons - they couldn't afford the cost of travelling back home for starters...then there's the fact that there was nothing for them to go back to. The 60s/70s/80s and 2010 = not comparing like with like.

But you've a point in that people were probably a lot tougher back then in general.

Re: ...and then what?
 

jjanj, touched the spot for me, summed up quite well what I felt, thanks.

....and then what? Peace, happiness and a sense of belonging. I not only sincerely hope, but am going to do everything with my own mindset to ensure that that is the outcome.

I have been too much of a gypsy, but a very happy one, four countries, four different cultures, and four different languages and now many years on, groups of friends from everywhere.

But.... the last move! The settling down move? The I'm a grown up and a Mummy move! That's been a disaster. Lovely house, big river frontage, few financial problems, till just recently. .The BEST kid that was ever born, and on most days a reasonably super husband! I'm sometimes not too bad as a wife either.

I should never have moved to France. I've 'cracked' various cultures and made lifelong friends, but Everything is harder in France. Ten years on and I have good friends, but never a sense of belonging, we never fit in. Our son (aged 9) is sanguine about it, and shrugs off the low level, but constant drip feed bullying, but I can't cope anymore.

Canada will bring us together as a family. We will be able to do things socially, and people won't stare at us, when they realise that I'm English. We won't be constantly instantly judged, out of ignorance, and found to be wanting. My husband (Canadian) might have a chance of making friends who want to be friends and don't pretend they can't understand his accent.

Canada is a great big dream at the present, and one that I had never thought I'd want as a dream. I've visited lots of times to see family in BC and Calgary, but never imagined living there. Am I running away? Quite probably, but I just cannot take an 11th year of France. I'm Franced out now!

I have hung my star on Canada's tree. When I get there, I shall live, I shall fit in, and I will make friends! Life is going to be fantastic, as failure at this particular juncture is by no means possible. There have been aspects of the Canadian psyche, as I have experienced it over the years, that I haven't always appreciated, but you watch I'm going to start loving it now! I will love NB, and it's going to love me right back! Hopefully!

Re: ...and then what?
 

Shamefully, yes

It was a quiet poke at the person i quoted, for their hypocrisy.

I know i know, i'll grab my coat and slink off down to the naughty step for my crapness.

:o

Re: ...and then what?
 

And then what?

Well life my dear :)

Start work on that novel you sometimes dream about, write some poetry, write a play script/ movie script, take up those piano/french/spanish/guitar/bongo lessons you always wanted or that business opportunity you always thought about or trying to get into an industry that more suits you.

Life without passion is not a life worth living :fingerscrossed:

Re: ...and then what?
 

Certain amount of truth in that statement.

I would be one of those who arrived in the 60's.;)

Re: ...and then what?
 

You should slink down it! Hypocrisy is it? I think you realise there's a bit of a difference between people who head across the pond for an adventure with no commitments and those who uproot themselves, family etc to make a permanent move.

Re: ...and then what?
 

*cough*

Re: ...and then what?
 

Sounds nasty that.

Still talking about people making a permanent move like, as in emigrating.

Re: ...and then what?
 

You mention "contemplating", not "emigrating".

In one sentence you're underwhelmed by the area you contemplated, yet you advise people to only contemplate a move to a country for the sheer love of it.

You can see how it could be confusing.

Re: ...and then what?
 

Step.