Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Jun 20th 2006, 1:25 pm
#1
Reunited
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: Somewhere out there
Posts: 1,754
Something Light - A Scouser Joke
A scouser walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up
to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is
excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man
who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac
daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll
supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be
expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have
to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom
apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is £ 200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it.
Raine
to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is
excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man
who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac
daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll
supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be
expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have
to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom
apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is £ 200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it.
Raine
Jun 20th 2006, 1:30 pm
#2
Happily hungover
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Runcorn, via Africa and parts unknown.
Posts: 2,447
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by raine66
A scouser walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up
to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is
excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man
who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac
daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll
supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be
expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have
to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom
apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is £ 200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it.
Raine
to the counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is
excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man
who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful nymphomaniac
daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll
supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be
expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have
to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom
apartment above the garage.
The starting salary is £ 200,000 a year."
The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it.
Raine
OI!! I represent that remark!!
Jun 20th 2006, 3:13 pm
#3
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Joined: Mar 2004
Location: Cheshire England
Posts: 1,125
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by 1066
OI!! I represent that remark!! Here is another corny one.
What is the tallest mountain in Liverpool?
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Killamanforhisgiro
Jun 20th 2006, 3:43 pm
#4
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Joined: Apr 2005
Location: The Republic of Bacon
Posts: 3,192
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by raine66
Raine
Thanks for the chuckle wi' me mornin' cuppa. Very funny!
Jun 20th 2006, 3:44 pm
#5
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Joined: Apr 2005
Location: The Republic of Bacon
Posts: 3,192
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by Gray C
Here is another corny one.
Jun 20th 2006, 3:45 pm
#6
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Joined: May 2006
Location: M'cr-Red Deer-M'cr-??
Posts: 1,309
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by Gray C
Hi
Here is another corny one.
What is the tallest mountain in Liverpool?
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Killamanforhisgiro
Here is another corny one.
What is the tallest mountain in Liverpool?
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Killamanforhisgiro
Jun 20th 2006, 3:47 pm
#7
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: back in UK
Posts: 1,265
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Whats the difference between Batman and a scouser?
Batman can go out without Robin
Batman can go out without Robin
Jun 20th 2006, 4:04 pm
#8
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 9,606
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by 1066
OI!! I represent that remark!!
Jun 20th 2006, 4:15 pm
#9
Moderαtor Emeritus
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,768
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
On a serious note, how come its acceptable to bash scousers? Would this fly if it was about thicky brummies or wide boy cocknies or stupid women drivers, or smelly packies?
Jun 20th 2006, 4:17 pm
#10
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 9,606
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by iaink
On a serious note, how come its acceptable to bash scousers? Would this fly if it was about thicky brummies or wide boy cocknies or stupid women drivers, or smelly packies?
Jun 20th 2006, 4:20 pm
#11
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 4,918
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
They even adapt keyboards for scousers
Jun 20th 2006, 4:33 pm
#12
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,656
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by Gray C
Hi
Here is another corny one.
What is the tallest mountain in Liverpool?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Killamanforhisgiro
Here is another corny one.
What is the tallest mountain in Liverpool?
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
Killamanforhisgiro
Jun 20th 2006, 5:00 pm
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: The Republic of Bacon
Posts: 3,192
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by iaink
On a serious note, how come its acceptable to bash scousers? Would this fly if it was about thicky brummies or wide boy cocknies or stupid women drivers, or smelly packies?
Jun 20th 2006, 5:01 pm
#14
Moderαtor Emeritus
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,768
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Originally Posted by Calgal
iaink, you are officially "Canadian"!
Jun 20th 2006, 5:06 pm
#15
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2005
Location: Peterborough, ON, 4528km from the North Pole
Posts: 229
Re: Something Light - A Scouser Joke
Ok I am almost blond 
But please tell me what is a "Scouser"? 
But please tell me what is a "Scouser"?