moat

Hi I am one of those people that usually browse around the site and read with great interest.

Some of the responses on here for people having a difficult time has blown me away somewhat. Its good to see some old fashioned quality caring. Some dont offer the same responses but hey ho there is a lesser population of that kind.

I am in a predicament Im sure like many of you out there but I am now at a point where I dont know who to talk to about it for fear of sounding like a whinger.
We are trying to sell our house and it doesnt look good at all. I only bought it a couple of years ago (why I dont know) now the market has crashed and I am pretrified I wont get my money back for it.
We had to go to Canada last year to do our residency and had to come back here to fulfill our obligations to the house and to work contracts.
Thing is my kids are leaving this year my daughter is 21 and my son is 16. We are exceptionally lucky we have family they can go to.
I am at a point where I break down in tears constantly I am losing sleep panicking that my kids are going to be in another country without us and I dont know for how long.
I feel like my heart has a heavy weight on it and I am at a point where I dont want to get up and go to work I just want it all to be over and done with. Im feeling pretty sorry for my kids too having to watch a usually vibrant mother sit empty trying to figure a way out of this mess I got us into.
I know my oldest will be just fine but it is my 16yr old that I am worried for.
I just want to go to the bank and hand the keys in and say Take It and go but I know that wont do me any favours.
I have a husband that loves his job and I mean loves it and doesnt show any interest in doing research for our move. He talks plenty about it but I know he is hoping I will change my mind.
I have waited 4yrs to get this and it has been a lifelong dream to live in Canada and now I honestly believe I have lost my dream.
If I dont sell the house with at least a clearance of the mortgage then I will never have the financial means to move.
I know noone out there can do anything for me but I just needed to get it off my chest.
Im drained sitting here thinking of all options. I just cant function properly and I hate that I am like this...

Sorry for the speil but I hope I havent bored you too much.

Thanks for listening

AlexInBC

Nothing that constructive to say other than try to keep positive, please. The UK housing market is improving, even if slowly... I have friends back in the UK who are trying to buy at the moment and they keep losing out on places because there are too many offers from people in a better position than they are. They lost out on the last place they wanted because there were 5 other offers and 2 were from cash buyers (no, they're not in London!)

Is renting the property out not an option?

Fingers crossed that it all works out ASAP. Sending some serious "house sale" vibes and Karma your way.

Take care,
Alex

AlexInBC

I think I missed this bit when I first read your post... You guys really need to talk. I think this sounds like a much more major problem than the house sale issue you describe. Emigration is so tough...I cannot imagine how it could ever work out if only one partner is committed to the move.

Does he have any chance of getting the same position over here? Or one he'd enjoy as much?

terese677

just wanting to send you best wishes, Alex is right, moving to another country is so difficult and if you don't feel that your partner is sharing your ups and downs things could get very hard.
The market will pick up but when you have time now, see if you can have a good chat about how you both really feel.
good luck
Terese

moat

Thanks Guys

Dont get me wrong here, my husband wants to move and has done this journey with me there are times however where he hasnt got the same get up and go as I have.

He is a very qualified man and does training and design at the moment and does teaching to but I think it is a case of he is comfortable and doesnt want to lose that comfort zone.

We do talk all the time about our move and maybe because it is the fact I am feeling so low that I find negativity in all aspects.

I feel like I have put the wrong message out here. I dont need marriage guidance ha ha thanks for your efforts

Just wanted to get some stuff off my chest.

RubyRose

I don't think - I am certain the other two posters were not offering you marriage guidance, what they were offering is a suggestion that you and your husband talk and plan more about your impending immigration; and believe you me it is absolutely stressful. As we speak I am making all our arrangements to land on the 18th of this month.

I can assure you it is not an easy task and I have leant on a lot of people on this forum and have found a lot of good sound advice. I am a single mum who will be landing with my 17 year old son - perhaps not the same as your situation but similar. I couldn't sell my house so I made arrangements to let it. Just as I did that a friend has offered to buy it. So chin up and yes talk to your husband about moving and all your dreams and plans.

Talking about moving, your plans and dreams is not marriage guidance but perhaps it may border on it. Remember communication especially good quality communication is absolutely vital.

take care
Ruby

moat

O for goodness sake this has already taken a turn for the worse.

I did not put a post on here to have red lettering issued at me and if you read my post I was putting this in jest.
I have been married for 20yrs and I think I know my own husband hence the comment that I myself is feeling a little insecure due to my position at the moment.

Good for you moving there as a single mother but Im sure you arent the only one on this forum that has done it.

Like I said in my first post there is the lesser population of the negative members on this forum...

Im out of here now and so sorry that I put this blinkin post here...

I dont need to be told who to talk to I was merely venting some anxiety for goodness sake

keznjj

Sorry to hear of your predicament Moat.

Keep your chin up and Im sure things will work out for the best.

Everybody goes through scary things and there are a few of us that understand that.

Good luck in your ventures

RubyRose

Moat,

I am sorry you felt I was using red lettering - perhaps some other colour might have been better. I meant it to be supportive. I take back what I have said. I just wanted to reassure you that it is a very nerve wracking and anxious time but perhaps I did not choose my words very well. It is the same for all of us.

I hope you work things out the best you can do.

Ruby

Kaye.

I don't really have much advice Moat, just wanted to say good luck and I hope it all works out

Have you put your house up for sale? If it's been up for a while and it's not selling then maybe it's time to think about reducing the price or renting it out

As I said before, Good Luck

jonnieandmartina

Hi Moat..

for whats it worth we are going thru very similar, and lately have questioned what is right - admittedly my kids are much younger, very young - we both actually gave up jobs as our house had sold then fell thru so we are slowly eating into our saving over this summer..

as someone else has mentioned there is a change, a positive change in the housing market which we are optimisitic about,

i would'nt begin to offer advice or try and understand your own "thought" process only say your not alone, believe me..

take care,

j and m

Louisecooke

I think you were very rude to Ruby Rose when she was only trying to help.

In your first post you maade it clear that your husband didn't have his heart in the move and was hoping you would change your mind. As others have said this is a huge problem for you, if both of you aren't 100% committed to the move, then it is going to be very difficult further down the line. You and he really need to talk this through and be truthful about what you both want. I'm sorry if this sounds like marriage guidance, but you really need to sort this out before you go any further.

Good luck whatever you decide

Alan2005

What are you trying to say?


Blimey, you are a touchy one. If you don't want people to comment on your personal circumstances then don't post them on a public forum. Anyway, everyone here has actually been nothing but nice to you... well apart from me, but I'm in that 'lesser population' you mentioned above

jericho

Jesus....

__TJ__

obviously you are under a hell of a lot of stress moat. a move of this kind is massive so some anxiety is to be expected. the recession is scaring the hell out of a lot of us. we have to sell our house to pay off the mortgage and the loan secured on the house. in fact we have to sell the caravan to afford the recce next month to get dh a job. BUT its our dream and we will do anything to get there.

i think what you need is a good natter and a cuppa and possibly some girlie time with another woman you know. get a buddy round and put the world to rights. it is hard to say what you mean when you are typing, as so much of our conversation is non verbal and inflections are missed and hackles raised etc.

we have spent the weekend watching "selling houses" at that guy, he goes in and paints every house white and paints all their wood furniture white (personal pet peeve, i hate painted wood) and then they sell hey presto! so dh and i have decided that we have to make a list of what to do before we put the house on the market to make it as saleable as possible. this will involve briniging in a gardener as our main unique selling point is a massive garden i have regretably let go ( been ill this summer and not able to get out there) so i have to get that ship shape. we have some DIY to finish and i have to pack up my hobby room ( i scrapbook you have no idea how much "stuff" that involves) and make it a dining room again. im not keen on packing it all away but ill have to when we move anyway so i have to bite the bullet.

what im saying is get a plan. have a contingency. can you rent out the house? if not, what will you do? have a good cry if you want to, it is not supposed to be this hard, but then get on with it, because if you can come up with a plan then everything else is just details.

i hope you get the house sold soon and get your move sorted out. also glad to hear you dont need marriage guidance, i swear half the people on "home or away" are failing at migration because they dont actually speak to their other half, crazy! good luck