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so frustrated!

so frustrated!

Old Dec 5th 2009, 5:49 am
  #1  
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Default so frustrated!

Does anyone else struggle to get others in their family to be as interested in emigration as they are?
I am the one driving this in our family, my husband is more cautious and actually I am the one researching, talking to people etc etc. He seems to have very little interest although has been fine about booking the recce trip we are taking in June.
I just wish he was more into this. To me, this has to be a family thing, not something I just want to do.

When I ask him, he agrees that we should look into this and is fine about the recce trip.
Trouble is, its been my dream for years and years and now its possible as I am on the List twice, and we have two small children so for me its even more important.

I just wish he was more supportive. I cant do this on my own and I worry that he will back away more from it and that will be that.

Other people seem to be doing the research together equally.

Does anyone else have this issue?

Thanks
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 5:55 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by Howefamily

Other people seem to be doing the research together equally.
I think you assume a lot. I'd do a search - there are plenty of posters that are (or have been) in the same boat. Things can also turn around; the partner who initially was keen, and did all the research, ends up hating living in the new country and the initially passive partner ends up liking it.

I'm doing the majority of the research in our family - primarily because I'm the main applicant and will be the main bread winner when/if we get there. My OH will probably get more serious when/if we actually get visas. I think, in way, it is probably unrealistic to have both partners at the same level of enthusiasm.
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 6:14 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by bodgerx
I think you assume a lot. I'd do a search - there are plenty of posters that are (or have been) in the same boat. Things can also turn around; the partner who initially was keen, and did all the research, ends up hating living in the new country and the initially passive partner ends up liking it.

I'm doing the majority of the research in our family - primarily because I'm the main applicant and will be the main bread winner when/if we get there. My OH will probably get more serious when/if we actually get visas. I think, in way, it is probably unrealistic to have both partners at the same level of enthusiasm.
I would agree with bodger. It is unusual to have both partners showing the same level of interest/excitement etc.
My husband and I are both very keen, but approach things in quite different ways. He is great with all the paper work and the recce booking etc, but I am the one who is constantly on the 'net' researching and making contacts etc. Think we probably make a good team though and balance each other out so all the stuff gets done. I am much more open about showing enthusiasm and excitement about things,whereas Rob is much more reserved... he just shows it in a different way... which probably keeps me a bit grounded anyway.
I really hope things work out for you. Maybe when you are further down the process and you know for sure whether you are going he may show some more intereset. Anyway, I can understand your frustration and hope all works out for you
Lorna
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 7:54 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

I have the same problem!

We started talking about emigrating this time last year and it was my husbands idea to look into Canada. The first few days he was doing loads of research - doing the CIC test and looking for job prospects.

Then he stopped and just left it up to me! He has been keen the whole time though but thinks that we can't afford it at the moment. I persuaded him to go for a recce next year, so I'll need to keep on at him to let me book it after Christmas
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 10:23 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

We were the same. I was the principal applicant, but apart from that I did ALL the leg-work and research, printing off forms etc, and telling OH "sign here".

It bothered me constantly and continued to do so after we arrived. I was afraid I had bull-dozed himself into coming here, that maybe he was just going along with it to keep me happy. I so wanted him to be an equally enthusiastic participant, but I think he was just content to let me do it, and to be frank, I was better at it.

Whenever I found something of interest he'd always come and listen or read without any apparent show of reluctance. I believe (and hope) he is as happy as I am that we came, but I still ask him from time to time ...... he's never been the best at really saying what's on his mind, and it's often-times hard to be a mind-reader!
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 10:35 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by Howefamily
Does anyone else struggle to get others in their family to be as interested in emigration as they are?
I am the one driving this in our family, my husband is more cautious and actually I am the one researching, talking to people etc etc. He seems to have very little interest although has been fine about booking the recce trip we are taking in June.
I just wish he was more into this. To me, this has to be a family thing, not something I just want to do.

When I ask him, he agrees that we should look into this and is fine about the recce trip.
Trouble is, its been my dream for years and years and now its possible as I am on the List twice, and we have two small children so for me its even more important.

I just wish he was more supportive. I cant do this on my own and I worry that he will back away more from it and that will be that.

Other people seem to be doing the research together equally.

Does anyone else have this issue?

Thanks
if you submit a photo i will happily guide you around when you land and you can leave him in the UK. open invite to others on this thread too, feel free to all come at the same time.
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 10:54 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by rae
feel free to all come at the same time.
I am so tempted to make a smutty joke just now
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 11:10 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by Kaye.
I am so tempted to make a smutty joke just now
Oi you...gutter, mind out of.
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 11:17 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by Steve_P
Oi you...gutter, mind out of.
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 11:24 am
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Default Re: so frustrated!

I would wait until you've done the recce trip you're planning. Once he sees Canada in all its glory, he'll be signing on the dotted line I'm sure.

Best of luck and enjoy your trip
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 1:11 pm
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by snoopster
I would wait until you've done the recce trip you're planning. Once he sees Canada in all its glory, he'll be signing on the dotted line I'm sure.

Best of luck and enjoy your trip
UNLESS his first experience of Canada is (scr)Okotoks
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 3:06 pm
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by Kaye.
I am so tempted to make a smutty joke just now
that was a deliberate pun i was going to elaborate on then i remembered the audience and knew it would not be necessary.
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 3:12 pm
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Default Re: so frustrated!

I'm sorry....have I missed something?
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 4:08 pm
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Default Re: so frustrated!

Originally Posted by snoopster
I'm sorry....have I missed something?
The bowl? Supper? My birthday?
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Old Dec 5th 2009, 4:27 pm
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Default Re: so frustrated!

I was unethusiastic about it when we were considering coming, even once we submitted our application.

I guess it depends on how you are getting here, work transfer, skilled worker etc. which will determine how long you have to think about and research the things you want before knowing if you are actually making the move.

We waited 3 years for our SW application to go through, which is why I was not really fussed while my wife was always looking at stuff on the web about where to live etc.

My thoughts were that we pretty much knew we were going to move to Toronto and that when we actually got the decision, we would have to take a few months to get everything in order to leave during which time we could do what reasearch was feasibly possible without actually being there.

As far as recce trips go, what can you actually get done in such a short time? Except meet with potential employers.

I would guess the time to actually meet with potential employers is when you have your decision and know you are moving so if any oportunity does present itself, you are in a position to act on it instead of telling someone you will get back to them once your immigration status is resolved.

So to sum it up, I was fairly indifferent until we actually got the letter telling us we could bring in our passports to get the Visas put in.
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