So confused- having second thoughts...scared
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 77
So confused- having second thoughts...scared
We are due to go over to Edmonton in May for hubby to sit his tests for Edmonton Police.
But lately i am so happy with our life over here, i love my job, i love my friends and even our house.....
I think i am just getting all scared. At the moment we could move to a nice area and nice house (bigger and detached compared to current house). I love my job, really enjoy it now, only moved jobs in sept but love it. And i am thinking ahead to the future, kids... we have friends here that i trust and it breaks my heart to leave our best friends behind and their kids....
I feel like i am more realistic than my hubby, he thinks it will all be great out there, perfect right from the start. I know it will be so hard... for a while
Here i love my job, maternity leave would be great, a get a great hol allowance etc....
Ahhhhh i am just so confused at the moment....
Then i also think of all the great things Canada promises....
Sorry does anyone else feel or felt this way!!!!!????
I am just confused about it all...
We wont need to make any decisions until hubby passes his tests in may then we need to decide.
xx
But lately i am so happy with our life over here, i love my job, i love my friends and even our house.....
I think i am just getting all scared. At the moment we could move to a nice area and nice house (bigger and detached compared to current house). I love my job, really enjoy it now, only moved jobs in sept but love it. And i am thinking ahead to the future, kids... we have friends here that i trust and it breaks my heart to leave our best friends behind and their kids....
I feel like i am more realistic than my hubby, he thinks it will all be great out there, perfect right from the start. I know it will be so hard... for a while
Here i love my job, maternity leave would be great, a get a great hol allowance etc....
Ahhhhh i am just so confused at the moment....
Then i also think of all the great things Canada promises....
Sorry does anyone else feel or felt this way!!!!!????
I am just confused about it all...
We wont need to make any decisions until hubby passes his tests in may then we need to decide.
xx
#2
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Washington, the original one, for now. The future - who knows?
Posts: 468
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
We are due to go over to Edmonton in May for hubby to sit his tests for Edmonton Police.
But lately i am so happy with our life over here, i love my job, i love my friends and even our house.....
I think i am just getting all scared. At the moment we could move to a nice area and nice house (bigger and detached compared to current house). I love my job, really enjoy it now, only moved jobs in sept but love it. And i am thinking ahead to the future, kids... we have friends here that i trust and it breaks my heart to leave our best friends behind and their kids....
I feel like i am more realistic than my hubby, he thinks it will all be great out there, perfect right from the start. I know it will be so hard... for a while
Here i love my job, maternity leave would be great, a get a great hol allowance etc....
Ahhhhh i am just so confused at the moment....
Then i also think of all the great things Canada promises....
Sorry does anyone else feel or felt this way!!!!!????
I am just confused about it all...
We wont need to make any decisions until hubby passes his tests in may then we need to decide.
xx
But lately i am so happy with our life over here, i love my job, i love my friends and even our house.....
I think i am just getting all scared. At the moment we could move to a nice area and nice house (bigger and detached compared to current house). I love my job, really enjoy it now, only moved jobs in sept but love it. And i am thinking ahead to the future, kids... we have friends here that i trust and it breaks my heart to leave our best friends behind and their kids....
I feel like i am more realistic than my hubby, he thinks it will all be great out there, perfect right from the start. I know it will be so hard... for a while
Here i love my job, maternity leave would be great, a get a great hol allowance etc....
Ahhhhh i am just so confused at the moment....
Then i also think of all the great things Canada promises....
Sorry does anyone else feel or felt this way!!!!!????
I am just confused about it all...
We wont need to make any decisions until hubby passes his tests in may then we need to decide.
xx
There is definitely nothing pushing you to go, you haven't mentioned any great pull from Canada.
The grass isn't always greener, you sound very happy and settled, so what will you gain from moving?
Everything if fine for me in the UK, but I am still hoping to move to Canada this year, as I don't want to regret not moving and giving it a shot.
#3
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 77
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
Thanks for the quick reply!
Lol i can see what your saying.. but i am also thinking along the lines of 'will we regret not doing it!?'.....
Lol i can see what your saying.. but i am also thinking along the lines of 'will we regret not doing it!?'.....
#4
Just Joined
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 20
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
Hi, we're going thru the same thing, but I have to find a job in Canada first before we go. I have recently been promoted, the wife is very happy, and the children are very settled, especially the eldest at school. We will be mortgage free in about 5 years, and are definately having 2nd thoughts.
Good luck and go with what you feel at the time your husband passes his test.
Good luck and go with what you feel at the time your husband passes his test.
#5
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
We are due to go over to Edmonton in May for hubby to sit his tests for Edmonton Police.
But lately i am so happy with our life over here, i love my job, i love my friends and even our house.....
I think i am just getting all scared. At the moment we could move to a nice area and nice house (bigger and detached compared to current house). I love my job, really enjoy it now, only moved jobs in sept but love it. And i am thinking ahead to the future, kids... we have friends here that i trust and it breaks my heart to leave our best friends behind and their kids....
I feel like i am more realistic than my hubby, he thinks it will all be great out there, perfect right from the start. I know it will be so hard... for a while
Here i love my job, maternity leave would be great, a get a great hol allowance etc....
Ahhhhh i am just so confused at the moment....
Then i also think of all the great things Canada promises....
Sorry does anyone else feel or felt this way!!!!!????
I am just confused about it all...
We wont need to make any decisions until hubby passes his tests in may then we need to decide.
xx
But lately i am so happy with our life over here, i love my job, i love my friends and even our house.....
I think i am just getting all scared. At the moment we could move to a nice area and nice house (bigger and detached compared to current house). I love my job, really enjoy it now, only moved jobs in sept but love it. And i am thinking ahead to the future, kids... we have friends here that i trust and it breaks my heart to leave our best friends behind and their kids....
I feel like i am more realistic than my hubby, he thinks it will all be great out there, perfect right from the start. I know it will be so hard... for a while
Here i love my job, maternity leave would be great, a get a great hol allowance etc....
Ahhhhh i am just so confused at the moment....
Then i also think of all the great things Canada promises....
Sorry does anyone else feel or felt this way!!!!!????
I am just confused about it all...
We wont need to make any decisions until hubby passes his tests in may then we need to decide.
xx
the grass is always greener on the other side 'cos unless you've lived somewhere before, to know that it isn't then i'm affraid it's the same old sh*te where ever you live.....still got bills to pay, find the money for the mortgage....etc etc etc......
personally, i'm just as scared as you are but i'm prepared to give it a go....i'm terrified of the things that i just take for granted in the UK.....doctors, dentist, groceries etc.....i know where it all is and how to get that info....but it won't take long to go figure it all out in canada.......it's a challenge for you yes but isn't that a great thing in life to have.....challengies are meant to be overcome; problems never get overcome!!!
i've used this saying several times on here before (sure some of you are sick to death of it) but it was told to me as a child and i've never forgotten it......
"living in a box, watching a box and waiting for a box"....to my mind, that's just perfect and sums up life; everything else in between those box's is just 'the stuff of life', how ever you choose to live it.......so my advice, decide which way you want to go and why, then make it happen and live by the consequencies.....you get one shot at it all.....now i feel like i'm lecturing!....good luck hunny and remember, there are plenty of people on here who are your friends, albeit from cyber space......many have felt like you, many feel like you and me and many more to come........xx
#6
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 77
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
i know the feeling, even though we are going through a credit crunch we are actually ok....
we are happy in the house we are in, its a ncie 3 bed terraced hs, though we could sell as the area is nice and then move to a detached hs next summer
I am loving my job and my future is good there .... can actually see myself staying there forever,,,,
its all very confusing..
My hubby being a police officer can change his job a lot and he has always said he likes the idea of joining the dog section, which he wont be able to do in canada for 6 years...
x
we are happy in the house we are in, its a ncie 3 bed terraced hs, though we could sell as the area is nice and then move to a detached hs next summer
I am loving my job and my future is good there .... can actually see myself staying there forever,,,,
its all very confusing..
My hubby being a police officer can change his job a lot and he has always said he likes the idea of joining the dog section, which he wont be able to do in canada for 6 years...
x
#7
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Washington, the original one, for now. The future - who knows?
Posts: 468
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
Hi, we're going thru the same thing, but I have to find a job in Canada first before we go. I have recently been promoted, the wife is very happy, and the children are very settled, especially the eldest at school. We will be mortgage free in about 5 years, and are definately having 2nd thoughts.
Good luck and go with what you feel at the time your husband passes his test.
Good luck and go with what you feel at the time your husband passes his test.
I will still need to get a job sorted before I move, but I am confident of being able to do so, and may even work remotely in Canada for a while at first (if possible).
#8
Banned
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Beautiful BC
Posts: 1,106
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
I would say you have a bit of a dilemma there! I'm not sure why you would want to emigrate either, as it sounds like you have all that you want or need. All I can say is good luck, whatever you decide.
#9
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Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 77
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
what's your original 'pull' towards canada? is it 'cos you think it's a wonderful place to live, the mountains, fresh air, low crime rate, bigger houses, better lifestyle for the kids? etc etc......
the grass is always greener on the other side 'cos unless you've lived somewhere before, to know that it isn't then i'm affraid it's the same old sh*te where ever you live.....still got bills to pay, find the money for the mortgage....etc etc etc......
personally, i'm just as scared as you are but i'm prepared to give it a go....i'm terrified of the things that i just take for granted in the UK.....doctors, dentist, groceries etc.....i know where it all is and how to get that info....but it won't take long to go figure it all out in canada.......it's a challenge for you yes but isn't that a great thing in life to have.....challengies are meant to be overcome; problems never get overcome!!!
i've used this saying several times on here before (sure some of you are sick to death of it) but it was told to me as a child and i've never forgotten it......
"living in a box, watching a box and waiting for a box"....to my mind, that's just perfect and sums up life; everything else in between those box's is just 'the stuff of life', how ever you choose to live it.......so my advice, decide which way you want to go and why, then make it happen and live by the consequencies.....you get one shot at it all.....now i feel like i'm lecturing!....good luck hunny and remember, there are plenty of people on here who are your friends, albeit from cyber space......many have felt like you, many feel like you and me and many more to come........xx
the grass is always greener on the other side 'cos unless you've lived somewhere before, to know that it isn't then i'm affraid it's the same old sh*te where ever you live.....still got bills to pay, find the money for the mortgage....etc etc etc......
personally, i'm just as scared as you are but i'm prepared to give it a go....i'm terrified of the things that i just take for granted in the UK.....doctors, dentist, groceries etc.....i know where it all is and how to get that info....but it won't take long to go figure it all out in canada.......it's a challenge for you yes but isn't that a great thing in life to have.....challengies are meant to be overcome; problems never get overcome!!!
i've used this saying several times on here before (sure some of you are sick to death of it) but it was told to me as a child and i've never forgotten it......
"living in a box, watching a box and waiting for a box"....to my mind, that's just perfect and sums up life; everything else in between those box's is just 'the stuff of life', how ever you choose to live it.......so my advice, decide which way you want to go and why, then make it happen and live by the consequencies.....you get one shot at it all.....now i feel like i'm lecturing!....good luck hunny and remember, there are plenty of people on here who are your friends, albeit from cyber space......many have felt like you, many feel like you and me and many more to come........xx
Any advice is appreciated and it helps to know other people are also confused and thinking about negative things as well
xx
#10
Wanna-be Canadian
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 176
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
So you are having second thoughts - that's natural.
Deep down you must have doubts about the UK otherwise you would have never applied to Canada.
IMO, you should see it through, give yourself a realistic time limit to make things work there (say 3 or 4 years), and if things pan out you'll stay, and if they don't you can always come back, or maybe try another country !
Be brave, give it a go
M.
Deep down you must have doubts about the UK otherwise you would have never applied to Canada.
IMO, you should see it through, give yourself a realistic time limit to make things work there (say 3 or 4 years), and if things pan out you'll stay, and if they don't you can always come back, or maybe try another country !
Be brave, give it a go
M.
#11
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Joined: May 2006
Location: Washington, the original one, for now. The future - who knows?
Posts: 468
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
What your other half could do of course is apply for a career break with the force, then if it goes belly up, at least he will have a good job to come back to.
That is what we will be doing.
That is what we will be doing.
#12
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 407
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
Hmmm, it could be last minute nerves or it could be that your reasons for wanting to move are no longer valid as situations do change.
If you were to go for any other reason that you wanted to go, then I think you may struggle. It is such a hard move to make, especially when factoring all the emotional links here that unless you are totally commited you may struggle.
Just one thing sprang to mind, so many times in your post you mentioned loving your job but I wonder what would happen if say your boss left and you didn't get on with the replacement or the dymanics of the team you are working in changed, or your job changed because they had to rework the job descriptions due to the current economic climate - would you feel differently about making the move to Canada under those circumstances? What about when the novelty of the new job wears off what about then?
Also agree with the push and pull factors of Canada, what did you like about Canada or was it just that you wanted to escape because you weren't happy in your last job?
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
If you were to go for any other reason that you wanted to go, then I think you may struggle. It is such a hard move to make, especially when factoring all the emotional links here that unless you are totally commited you may struggle.
Just one thing sprang to mind, so many times in your post you mentioned loving your job but I wonder what would happen if say your boss left and you didn't get on with the replacement or the dymanics of the team you are working in changed, or your job changed because they had to rework the job descriptions due to the current economic climate - would you feel differently about making the move to Canada under those circumstances? What about when the novelty of the new job wears off what about then?
Also agree with the push and pull factors of Canada, what did you like about Canada or was it just that you wanted to escape because you weren't happy in your last job?
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
#13
Cynically amused.
Joined: Oct 2002
Location: BC
Posts: 3,648
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
Don't sell your house....then if it goes belly up, you have a home to return to. I cannot see why you would want to move, given everything you detail in your post.
#14
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
Second thoughts? No. A few doubts about how it would all go? Yes.
Have you tried a search of the forum about police training. I think there was a poster on here whose husband joined either the Calgary or Edmonton police and posted about the experience of settling in.
I'm with some of the others in not really seeing why you want to make the move. If you fancy the adventure, go for it but it could be very costly both financially and emotionally if it is something your heart is not really in. Perhaps both you and your husband should spend some time reading the posts on Moving back to the UK then discuss exactly how you might deal with some of the issues that can come up when you move overseas.
Good luck to him with his tests.
Hopefully deep down there was a reason for choosing Canada rather than deep down worrying about how to get out of the UK!
Have you tried a search of the forum about police training. I think there was a poster on here whose husband joined either the Calgary or Edmonton police and posted about the experience of settling in.
I'm with some of the others in not really seeing why you want to make the move. If you fancy the adventure, go for it but it could be very costly both financially and emotionally if it is something your heart is not really in. Perhaps both you and your husband should spend some time reading the posts on Moving back to the UK then discuss exactly how you might deal with some of the issues that can come up when you move overseas.
Good luck to him with his tests.
Hopefully deep down there was a reason for choosing Canada rather than deep down worrying about how to get out of the UK!
#15
Re: So confused- having second thoughts...scared
I think you have just stepped aboard the emigration emotional rollercoaster. We all hop on it at some point, usually when your time draws nearer and it finally dawns on you that its for real and not just a pipedream.
We had a nice life back in the UK, so you don't have to hate your life back in the UK to enjoy your new life in Canada but you do need to feel positive overall about your move. I would say that nearly all of us expats must have had the wobbles at least a few times before our big move but if your gut instinct tells you NOT to do it, then thats another thing.
Can I also add, that in the couple of months leading up to our big move, I too used to look at my home city (Aberdeen) in a new light (nostalgic). I would see the buildings, the people, etc differently. It was the same with work - you look at everything and everybody differently in the weeks before departure. I think it's a natural thing to do when your life is about to change.
Focus on your reasons for wanting to move to Canada in the first place. It is a lifechanging event. For us, our good life became even better and more fulfilling
We had a nice life back in the UK, so you don't have to hate your life back in the UK to enjoy your new life in Canada but you do need to feel positive overall about your move. I would say that nearly all of us expats must have had the wobbles at least a few times before our big move but if your gut instinct tells you NOT to do it, then thats another thing.
Can I also add, that in the couple of months leading up to our big move, I too used to look at my home city (Aberdeen) in a new light (nostalgic). I would see the buildings, the people, etc differently. It was the same with work - you look at everything and everybody differently in the weeks before departure. I think it's a natural thing to do when your life is about to change.
Focus on your reasons for wanting to move to Canada in the first place. It is a lifechanging event. For us, our good life became even better and more fulfilling