Six years and done
 

We moved to Canada 6 years ago. I have a very well paid job, we have a great home, and live in a nice area, but we are done with Canada...or more specifically Canadians. I've met people who moved here 30 years ago, raised a family etc and still struggle socially.

The nicest thing I can say about Canadians is that they are polite (until they get behind the wheel of their financed SUV).

I live for my long weekends back in the UK where you can have a real conversation. Canadians are dull as dishwater.

If you are thinking of coming, take it from someone who believed 100% that the grass was greener...it isn't. Family, friends and a country populated by people capable of intelligent conversation is worth more than a MacMansion and a shiny new SUV.

Re: Six years and done
 

So you have changed your mind then? ;)

Re: Six years and done
 

Ha ha contrast or what. Hey it is what it is tho and someone's heaven maybe some one else's hell.

Enjoy the UK op, I look fwd to the "we moved back to the UK and it was a mistake" thread in 6 months time

Re: Six years and done
 

Do you have citizenship? If so, if you change your mind, you can return. I agree with both your view from sometime back and current, I think I won't stay into my dotage.....the deal in uk for the more senior is superior. Respect to you for having your own mind.

Re: Six years and done
 

That's too funny quoting me from my first Christmas back. For a long time I felt that way, and England can truly be depressing, but I am not kidding when I say that I do most of my socializing back there still.

I have citizenship, so could return after we leave, but doubt I will. Family illness (my Dad) first made me think about returning two years ago, then I had a period off work when for the first time since I'd arrived I wasn't so busy as to notice how crap our social life was.

We have really tried. We go to church, are normal, sociable...but no dice. Then I realized we just don't belong, but most of all Canadians are not like Ozzies or Kiwis, they are more like the Swiss or Swedes. I know it sounds nasty, but they are just really boring, and we've had enough.

I always said that if I could move my friends and family out here, life would be perfect...but I can't, and the superior quality of life is not enough.

Re: Six years and done
 

You're probably right, but I'm screwed either way. We aren't happy here that's for sure...people are everything, and we just aren't connecting.

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Sorry to be irreverent but this is not normal for me, none of my Canadian friends that I get on well with go to church. Maybe you need a different circle?

Re: Six years and done
 

That may not have helped as they are all teetotal! However, our friends who have been here 30 years aren't church goers and have really struggled too. The culture here is very different...I listen to the radio here and cringe...TV, cut the cord within 2 months. I actually finf the Quebequois more like the british than the people here in Ontario. Here they cannot cope with any form of confrontation, even just questioning. Critisism is a huge no-no...I am used to a culture in which everyone takes the piss out of each other and themselves.

Re: Six years and done
 

Boring is as boring does. (From an anything but borinh Canadian).

If you're still having trouble fitting in after 6 years then maybe it's you and not them. Just sayin'

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Maybe it is us, but I've never had a problem elsewhere and lived in the US, OZ, New Zealand, Wales and of course England. Got friends all over the world, but not here really. We just feel incredibly lonely and depressed now.

Re: Six years and done
 

And by the way, using the phrase "just sayin" is totally wank.

Re: Six years and done
 

I've just noticed that you're in Barrie, we live in Bracebridge. I often think Barrie must be a bit soulless to live in, apart from the fact that you have all the shops!

Whenever I feel homesick which is frequently, I know I project it on to where I live, friends, job etc. In reality it's nothing to do with them and when the fog clears I get it again.

Re: Six years and done
 

And is that the fault of Canada or is it possible that you chose the wrong area? Canada is a massive place so to tar the entire 30+ million people based on your experience of Barrie (hardly known as a hotbed of excitement) is a bit unfair and unrealistic.

Re: Six years and done
 

I live in the downtown, which is the best bit...the burbs are truly soulless, you are right. My job is amazing, where I live is beautiful...I look out my back window and it is like cottage country, all trees and older homes well spaced (have a big 1940s house, but not a Macmansion...said that to paint a picture). People are eveything. I am just being honest, tried really really hard, but given up now. Wouldn't call it homesickness, just sick of being alone.

Re: Six years and done
 

Well maybe it is just your time. It's a good time to sell, Bracebridge is crazy at the moment- house prices are flying up.. the Toronto effect

Re: Six years and done
 

You make a good point. But we lived in Toronto for a while. Way too expensive. I think we probably would have had a better social life there, mainly because of expats (not just Brits..we the friends we have made are from China, Jamaica, Holland etc). I have been all over Canada with my work...Vancouver, Quebec, St Johns, Winnipeg, Saskatoon, Edmonton, Calgary...pretty much everywhere. I see people are happy enough, and if I had been born here, I would be happy as I would be surrounded by friends and family, but I'm not, and the truth is people are polite but not friendly.

Two things I remember before I came that I wished I'd taken note of.

1. On a recce trip I was chatting to girl in a bar in Vancouver. She said I'd clean up as the men here are mind numbingly boring and only talk about hockey, trucks and fishing. I just took in the first part of the sentence.

2. My best mate in the UK warned me before we left that I'd hate it, Canadians were boring. I scoffed at him. He was right.

Re: Six years and done
 

I get what you are saying but feel you may also be guilty of some over-generalisation.
I'm not a particularly social animal myself, but I have met many Ontarians (usually through sporting activities) that GET the banter/sarcasm vibe that we Brits enjoy. The only teetotallers I have met here are reformed alcoholics, but maybe that's a Peterborough thing!

As for returning to the UK, I still have strong family ties there but not strong enough to consider going back permanently.
Visits there just reinforce my decision to move to Canada, and I don't miss that general sense of negativity that seems to hang over everybody there, and how damn crowded it feels! Not to mention the general aggression that seems more prevalent in the UK, and the "permagloom" that passes for a climate.

Of course, everyone's perspective is different and I wish you well whatever you decide to do.

Re: Six years and done
 

I hear you man...rock and a hard place. Also, yeah, I am generalizing, there are some fab Canadians, who I will always be friends with, just not anywhere within a hundred kms! My wife is very sociable and easy to get on with, and while she has a circle of christian and non-christian friends, she maybe has kne or two at most she'd call good friends.

Re: Six years and done
 

Before I go to bed, I kind of feel Trudeau sums Canada up perfectly. Looks good, seems nice, sporty, but ultimately a bit bland.

Re: Six years and done
 

I'll take boring and quiet over chaotic and busy any day of the week. I don't miss the UK one bit.

Good luck to you though, I hope you make it back safely and pick up from where you left off. 6 years is a long time to be away.

Re: Six years and done
 

And many who have done just fine. It is a two way street, we have met loads of great folks. Joined lots of groups & volunteered, just got stuck in. Joined a new group last year, ended up on the board in 3 weeks and now folks talk to us as if we had been there for years.

For those thinking of moving to Canada, make up your own mind. The grass is not greener, same shit, different bucket. It is what you make of it.

Re: Six years and done
 

I wrote that myself 4 years ago :lol: was in NS for 6 years was so depressed absolutely hated it. Found it boring, done everything there was to do and nothing left to explore. Did have some great friends, both Canadian and expats, but yes a very different culture and social life.
Now back in England 4 years. Absolutely no regrets about moving home, still really happy here.
Yes, traffic can get you down, and yes depressing outlook of some people can get you down too. But, if you are happy with your lot, and try to ignore the rest, then you will be fine.
Now home and happy, can look back on Canada in a different light and realise we did have some great times there.
Funny thing is, we may be moving back to NS in the future. Eldest daughter returned there to be with the boyfriend and youngest daughter may very well return there too as her best friend ever is there.
Never say never in life. Just go with the flow.
Good luck.

Re: Six years and done
 

Two things about this made me laugh.
The first; my mate says 'just sayin' all the time after dropping some controversial bomb in a conversation, I love it.
The second; totally wank. I've never seen something so British on this board before :lol:


Although you have been quoted about how you loved it here, I can respect someone who changes their mind and is open about it. People change and sometimes it's the big things we can get over, but the little things that slowly grind on us. It sounds like it's taken 6 years for the little things to grind you down and now you've had enough.


Best of luck in your move back to the UK!

Re: Six years and done
 

Its funny, we've lived all over the world and in my experience nowhere is as friendly and welcoming as Canada, we've lived in two provinces and been to several others and have never had a problem making friends. Quite the opposite in fact.

I have found that (like anywhere) if people don't trust or see you as an acquaintance then conversation is bland, they stick to safe topics, but once you're one of their friends conversation is anything but bland, I've posted before about the terrifying over sharing :D.
I've also found people here in the Maritimes have wicked, dark senses of humour (which suits me to a tee) and know how to make mischief in all the best ways.

I wasn't at all happy when we lived in PEI, but so far I adore Nova Scotia and although we've only been here a couple of weeks we've made a lot of friends and have more invitations to stuff that we have time for, which is lovely.
I do have the seemingly magic combination of toddler and big fluffy dog which always seems to open doors to making friends,plus my husbands new colleagues are a fantastic bunch who all have young children too.

Moving to a place isn't a one size fits all, we didn't like PEI so we moved province, Canada is such a vast place that I think its very much trial and error finding a place that you like, we didn't expect to just rock up and settle immediately into the place we'd stay forever, we expected to have to try different places. Just sayin' ;)

Re: Six years and done
 

Thanks Skakyuk. Probably won't be leaving till next spring as we had a flood in May and we are still waiting for a contractor to refit our basement...all insured, just getting someone to do the work is a challenge.

I feel a little guilty being quite so harsh about Canadians yesterday (slightly beer induced), but the fact is that there is nothing that I have said that I don't feel has a large amount of truth attached to it. Of course there are some great Canadians, but I just find that in general in the UK and many other places, people are more open and friendly, rather than merely polite.

In the long term we are off to NZ as the wife is from there and so we have loads of family...and I already have more mates there than I do here. Says it all really.

I will always treasure my memories of this amazing land though. It is beautiful, and quality of life is second to none. I was very positive for 4 and half years, but as you say, eventually things just wear you down and you realize you're banging your head against a brick wall.

Re: Six years and done
 

I must admit, I think people out East, are more down to earth and genuinely friendly. I think Ontario is uniquely cold in its politeness. I've always had a good laugh in Quebec, but couldn't live there because of the language issue.

Re: Six years and done
 

Is the basement flood practise for moving to the land of cold damp houses?

Re: Six years and done
 

The name seemed vaguely familiar so I just took a quick look at threads started and such a downer on England may have been why. ;)

The only times I can remember such a big change in opinion has been from people having moved provinces and even then that may have involved a 'chalk and cheese' type of move that may have been possible within the same province. :unsure: but it sounds like you already did that.

Best of luck.

Re: Six years and done
 

Good to hear your perspective. See everything there is to see here, done with trees and lakes. Because our family are in the UK and NZ I think Never may well apply once we are gone.

In some ways now we know we are going we can relax and make the most of our remaining time and appreciate the many good things this beautiful land has to offer.

Re: Six years and done
 

IMO I think you are in the wrong spot. I have a ton of friends who are down to earth, sarcastic, humourous and funnily enough are not church-goers.
You say you miss the culture where everyone takes the piss out of each other but theres also the very aggressive take no prisoners culture in the UK too which I see all over FB daily which makes me cringe.


I think its easy to get the hate on when you feel like you have had enough and then everything aggravates you. Be cautious of that driving your (potentially) very expensive return. It may well be exactly what you need, it may not be. Being as open minded as can right now will help.


Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Re: Six years and done
 

Yep, first thing I'd do is fit heating. New Zealand homes are freezing in winter, and the weather is dreary from May through October, but I need more than a big warm house to be happy. Family and friends, that's what it's all about.

I think a part of our problem is that NZ has always been at the back our mind, and our final destination. We first thought that we keep a condo or cottage here and a beach house in NZ, but the truth is we don't feel that would be worth it now...nothing really to bring us back here every summer...rather spend a month in Europe, or the US, or elsewhere travelling, than 3 months starring at a lake swatting bugs

Re: Six years and done
 

Prices are all over the place here. Up 40% year on year in March, down 20% since then, and Toronto is dropping too. Hoping things will settle down over the winter and then lift again next spring when we plan to sell.

Re: Six years and done
 

Some wise words there. I agree with your analysis of the aggression on UK forums. I also will take your advise and keep an open mind.

In all honesty I would love to write a humble post in 9 months time saying we have changed our minds and things turned around for us. We have two international moves ahead, the first back to the UK, then another one 10-15 years later to NZ. Ideally we would have just gone straight to NZ when I retire, but as things currently stand we will go bonkers if we have to stay here for another decade.

Re: Six years and done
 

This comment more closely mirrors my own experience. My wife and I lived in Canada for 7 years (5 in Toronto; 2 in Brampton) before moving back to the UK. We loved Toronto (1st kid arrived after 4 years) but moved out to Brampton to buy a house when the 2nd kid was on the way. Moving to Brampton was the worst move we ever made but we couldn't afford a house in Toronto even at that time.

At first I thought we'd be happy in Brampton. I was working in Mississauga at the time so my commute was much better - no 401 anymore! We lived in the Heart Lake area which had green space and playgrounds for the kids. I found a great British/Irish pub within walking distance that showed live football matches. But eventually something got to us and we decided to return to the UK. Looking back, it was probably a number of factors. Having two young kids with no family support was hard. We also wanted them to actually get to see their family in the UK. Brampton was OK to live in but a bit soulless - although we knew that before we moved there. The neighbours were pleasant but there was always a feeling that they were presenting an exterior front without really opening up or bonding. They weren't going to become real friends. So I can relate to what the OP said although it's never a good idea to tar everyone with the same brush. I did make some real Canadian friends who were genuine and fun - so those people are out there.

The move back to the UK is something I'm glad we did - and not just because it got it out of our system. We really enjoyed our time there. We saw family and friends and got to do all the things we missed about the UK - actually going to football matches, good pubs, proper fish and chips, good Indian restaurants, etc. The usual stuff. But we also encountered some of the things mentioned in the comment above. Miserable weather. Aggression - especially in pubs. Negativity. Everywhere seemed crowded. Roads were narrower and seemed more crowded - and it was harder to find parking spaces. When we ran into difficulties enrolling the first kid in a decent school, that was probably the last straw - that and the drunken chavs hanging out at the local playground, swearing, breaking bottles etc. If I took my kids to a playground, I'd nearly always see dog crap, broken glass - sometimes in the sand pit. Everywhere seemed less child friendly. So we decided to leave. Originally wanted to go back to Canada but I was offered a job in the US first and have been here 18 years.

Re: Six years and done
 

I like this thread- apart from a little naughtiness, it has been reasoned debate. As people have said, Canada is a big place, I don't think one can generalise too much- I love BC- (apart from the current smoke/fires), people seem to be pretty sociable but maybe that is me (Snoop would dispute that:lol:)-

I do work with a British Doc who left for NZ after she finished training, was then there for 10 years and then moved here 9 years ago- she is a real chatterbox, she felt socially isolated, she much prefers it here)- horses for courses I reckon. They call it Beautiful BC for a reason :lol: (Don't they Oink ?:cool:)

Re: Six years and done
 

MarylandNed - thanks for your insights. One of my "problems" is that I come from a beautiful village in Sussex. The scenery is amazing, the weather is good for the UK, although still crap, the chavs are located a suitable distance away from the area, and there is London, Brighton and Europe on your doorstep, not to mention a vast array of awesome country pubs. When I go back, I am aware of the fact that much of the UK is not so pleasant, but I would possibly only ever drive through those bits!

Stinkypup: we have made closest connections with other ex pats too, and to be fair canadians who are well travelled and have something to say for themselves. Our closest friend is Barrie born and bred but has lived all over the world...she is so much fun. The problem is that while her husband is a really nice bloke, I struggle to get more than a few words out of him. I really miss my UK and antipodian mates.

I know that I have generalized wildly, and through work I have met some great people, but it seems really hard to find guys like that through my local connections. I have no love for hockey, baseball, fishing and trucks, so I am screwed really.

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Oh thank god- I thought that it was just me (add hunting and drinking crap frozen beer on as well):thumbup:

Re: Six years and done
 

Yeah, there goes most of your Barrie conversation topics.:thumbdown::thumbdown:

One of my best friends at university here in Canada grew up in Barrie and he got out as soon as he could...actually as far as Fife. Somehow he managed to sleep through the infamous tornado of 1985 which destroyed homes near him.

Re: Six years and done
 

I hear you. My sister-in-law is originally from Wigan and now lives in Eastbourne where the weather is possibly about as good as it gets in the UK. As you say, she can get to London easily and Europe is on her doorstep (Gatwick is just up the road). She loves it and I can't see her ever moving.


Our closest connections in Canada were people we met through work - some of them were expats (UK and other countries) and some were native-born Canadians.

Re: Six years and done
 

Barrie has changed a fair bit since then. Population has quadrupled for starters! However, it is an odd mix of rednecks, breading commuter types and well-healed middle class. It will improve as the new express trainline is completed. Aesthetically speaking it is streets ahead of most dormitory towns, or places like Hamilton, but it is still lagging a bit in the stock of humans able to converse about topics beyond the borders of Simcoe county.