bats

If you feel relieved when you read advice to stay put, then do so. If you're disappointed when people tell you to go to Canada, then don't go.

You get my drift?

Shard

For outsiders London is often an acquired taste. It's the most cosmopolitan city on earth, it's next to Paris, a short hop to Barcelona or Rome, and a mere 5 hours to New York. You're working, you're ahead of her (in career) and if she's really committed to the relationship, she could at least try out London for a couple of years. At 21 there's a very large chance that this relationship will at some point run its course, and since you seem to enjoy London and do have career aspirations, you'd be unwise to trade it all in to become dependent on her and/or frustrated by the career issues you may have in Toronto. It's right that you are young enough to be able to take risks (in emigrating) and if you disliked London or were not on a good career track then the risk would be worth taking. As it is GF should be taking the risk and if in a few years she still wants to be in Toronto, you can both go back there with some career experience and some cash.

franfluff

haha nooooo!!! LOL

CanadaJimmy

London to me is a very busy place with a fast pace of life, at first it's different and exciting, but for me it quickly got old. It's not for everyone and I can understand disliking it. I myself lived there for 3 years, in a particularly nice area too, and I never warmed to the crammed-in busy feel of everything. People were friendly on the most-part though.

Possibly, really depends on the maturity of the people involved, and age isn't always reflective of that.

He did also say he really enjoyed his time in Toronto, but the career points are valid.

That is true, but right now, she doesn't like London, and he said he liked both places. She would be suffering people in a place she doesn't like, where as he would be in a place he does like, but may suffer with career issues. This is why the issue isn't quite as clean cut as you suggest.

feelbritish

There is a compromise in that you move out of London and commute and stay further afield in the Home Counties, sure she will like it out there!

Shard

I agree it's not as clear cut as I suggest, but I thought I would post a frank opinion for the lad (as he has many to consider). It's true that not everyone warms to London, but it's amazing how many people do. They come bitching and complaining about the place, but 5-10 years later they're still there, in their own groove, and loving the place. It seems to me that the GF should at least give it a try.

Oink

He should kick her into touch straight away and get himself a nice English girl.

Shard

nbdonkey

Thanks again for all the advice, it's much appreciated.

Even though it was only 6 months, my gf just couldn't adjust to the life here despite being a student and having some distant relatives here. I understand the UK and more specifically London is not for everyone.
The way I looked at the situation was the only obstacle was career stuff as opposed to everything else in Canada i.e. fitting in, culture, lifestyle, etc. So I thought it would be easier for me to make the move as opposed to her but now I'm second guessing it because of the reasons previously posted.
I am going to try and be more pushy for her to come to London and try it out for at least a year. This seems to be the better option for all parties but the trouble is, she graduates in Summer 2014 It's sooo difficult to wait that long and this is why I was 100% committed in immigrating to Canada.

We are both very mature for our age (21) and I know we are committed. Due to the long distance we have tried to just 'forget' about each other but it's just impossible when you completely fall for someone. Some days I think 'Sod it, I'm 21...you only live once....Do it while you're young' but other days I'm like 'No don't be stupid..you have a life here too'.

Are office jobs really that difficult to come by in Toronto? I have researched this subject thoroughly but has anyone got first hand experience of this?

oopsbuddy

In the immortal words of ABBA...."Breaking up is never easy I know,,,,", but park that for a minute....I'd say give it a year and see how things are.

Wait til she graduates (next year anyway), give your new job all you've got in the meantime (never mind how hard it is to get a job in TO, it's bloody hard to get a good job anywhere....but you now have one), and if in a year the feelings are still strong, take a trip over there and see how lies the land, and by that I mean the relationship, not TO. You can probably take leave of absence for a year without losing your (government) job? She will be a year older too, she may have met somebody else, her parents (assuming they are around) may not be keen on an overseas relationship for their daughter let alone setting up as married or common law etc. at such a young age.

BTW, from what you say, it sounds like all the planning ahead is being done by you,...has she ASKED you if you'd go to live with her in Canada and be her life partner? All I read is that she doesn't want to live in London anymore....where you currently are...are you sure all these feelings are reciprocated? If she refuses to come to London again, it sounds like she is prepared to let you go if you won't go to Canada!

If it's as strong as you believe it is, it'll still be there in a year, but if not, it sounds like you're contemplating giving up a lot based on a pretty optimistic outlook.

Best of luck though, it's easy for us to advise (you did ask) but it's a toughy for you!

nbdonkey

I don't think I can take a year of absence until I've worked at least 3 years unfortunately.
Thankfully her parents are fully aware of the situation and are completely ok with it. Her parents actually went through a similar situation. Mum was Canadian and Dad was American and went through the common-law/spousal route back in the 80s. My gf is completely fine with living together in Canada and applying for sponsorship when the time comes.

I am an optimist but recently the prospect of going there as thrown me back a little bit due to my situation. If I had the IEC visa this time last year I wouldn't think twice and just go to Canada but now I live in London and life is going much better here.

oopsbuddy

Fair enough, I appreciate your dilemma. FWIW (and that's probably not much!) my own recommendation would still be to give it a year. It's not easy though...so best of luck with your decisions.

Jingsamichty

Wht do you want to do as a career? What is your discipline, and what do you do for the Government?

My honest feelings are that 21 is far too young to be making major personal sacrifices just so you can settle into a comfortable Canadian suburban life. You will eventually turn into her parents, there is no need to rush headlong into it...

Shard

This is really well balanced advice from Oopsbuddy.

OP it would be helpful if you explained a bit more about your career, what it is you do and what it is you want to do as this seems to be the lynchpin. If your career path is indeed high flying it could justify staying in the UK, if it's more pedestrian, then there is potentially less downside from making a move. Also what do your parents think of jetting off after a girl (albeit a nice Canadian one!).

Shard

Not necessarily suburban. Lots of boxy condos in downtown Toronto full of young couples making a beeline for the Starbucks at ground level. Though I concur with the gist of what you are saying.