Hi all,

I'm fairly new to the forum. I am really stuck on what to do..here is my situation in a nut shell:

I have a Canadian girlfriend who I'm completely mad about. We're both 21. We've been good friends since August 2010 and we have been dating since January 2012 whilst she was at University in the UK. She returned to Toronto in June 2012 and we've been seperated (but still dating) from then onwards. But since July 2012 I've had a very good job in London paying a high salary (especially for a 21 year old) working for the Central Government. To add to this, my life is going very well at the moment because I'm enjoying both my job and lifestyle, alongside excellent career prospects in place. The only downside is that my girlfriend is not with me.

Now, she graduates from U of T next year but doesn't want to live in the UK because she hated living here in 2012. The only option is for me to try living in Toronto. With this in my mind, I successfully obtained an IEC visa in March 2013 and now all I need to do is activate it.

Here is my main issue. I have a good permanent job here and I don't want to sacrifice my career. In Canada they rely on being degree educated whereas here in the UK they are not so anal about academic success. Also, the issue of 'Canadian experience'. Not to mention Toronto is having a really rough go of it in terms of jobs etc. I don't have a degree but hold around 4 years Administration, HR and Recruitment experience but this counts for nothing when Canada has hardly any HR and Recruitment jobs. I'd literally have to start at rock bottom in a completely different industry i.e. flipping burgers or something. (I'd be lucky to get that). I would love to have an office job even if it's a junior position but this doesn't even look possible. It seems harder to climb the career ladder over there.
Also when researching Canada I've found the grass isn't that much greener. Aside from housing, the cost of living in Canada is slightly higher than here. The work-life balance is very poor, wages are the same as in the UK etc.

On the plus side I'd be with my girlfriend. Should I enjoy Canadian life I'm confident in getting PR through the common law route (as I'd be living with her etc). I have friends and her awesome family over there and really enjoyed Toronto for the 5-6 weeks I visited there however, I'm aware seeing places through 'holiday eyes' is completely different to living somewhere.

Has anyone got any thoughts on this? I'm really not sure what to do. We really love each other and this isn't easy for either of us. Any advice or past experiences would be hugely appreciated.

nbdonkey .

Girlfriends are like hamsters you eventually get over the loss of one

Seriously you have looked at the pros and cons and only being 21 its time to make your own decisions. This is what being an adult is and as adults we often make the wrong decision.
Im not trying to be harsh the decision will be yours in the end regardless of what advice you get on an internet forum.

No. Don't go. It'll be a set back for you in every area except the romance. If anything goes wrong with therelationship you'll blame the girlfriend for having caused you to give up everything else. And, if she tires of you and moves on, you'll have no reason to go on living, stranded, barely employed, unloved.

Find out what scenario would be worse.

Staying in the UK, furthering your career, enjoying your job but on the downside losing your girlfriend

Versus

being with your girlfriend, not finding a suitable job, struggling to make ends meat.

Best scenario you find a job, get sponsored and live happily ever after

worst scenario you can't find a job, you guys split up, you won't have PR, eventually go back to the UK but gave up a great job there.

It's a tough decision and like FL said only you can make.

As she is just graduating and has to go on a job hunt anyways it might be so much easier for her to come to the UK for a year, live together and get the sponsoring done. In this case if it doesn't work out for you guys you'd still have your job. You said she hated it but if he really loves you she might reconsider.

Good luck!

No, if she doesn't love you enough to move to London then.....

If she hated living in England but that's where she met you.....

You only had 6 months together in England, that's really not very long and still in the deep lust stage. Not enough to give up a good job for and not enough for common law anyway is it?


Sorry no, for many reasons, don't go.

You're 21 - You are at the bottom of the ladder with little experience any any country. There are senior managers in their 40s who flipped burgers to get a job and pay the bills.

If you move and it does not work out, go back. If at 21 you are afraid to make a move like this with so many options open to you and opportunities, you probably never will.

I would say though, if your career and job is your concern then this relationship is likely not 'the one'. If it was, you would not even be asking yourself these questions let alone a bunch of strangers, you would be moving heaven and earth to get out here and hang the consequences.

I'd stick you what is important to you and move on.

Hmm, that is difficult. For the age thing, I immigrated when I was 22, I don't regret it and in my opinion the younger you are, the easier it is to integrate in Canada. However I had no job and no job prospects at the time, so that made it easier to leave the UK.

I think it is important you said you enjoyed your trip there, a lot of Canadian cities aren't very tourist friendly (namely, they're expensive), so the fact you still had a good time in spite of that is a good sign. When my parents visited me in Vancouver they told me "Vancouver wasn't really their cup of tea" - despite being on Vacation they were able to make a judgement about the place (they have warmed to it now)

You can't put a price tag on a secure high-paying government job, that is something very exceptional and would be a huge sacrifice to leave behind. That said life isn't all about work, and it astonishes me sometimes that people are willing to give up being happy just to get a high paying job - some of the members on here just immigrated for employment reasons and moan about Canada all the time!

Another random thought is that if you got a gov't job in Canada with your references and experience, they wouldn't be able to sponsor you outside of your IEC visa, so you might end up losing that once it came time to get PR since you wouldn't be able to work in the interim. So you would probably want to look for something non-gov't if you did decide to come to Canada, at least at first.

Hi, you've already got really good advice above. Just wanted to say wish you well.

You've been dating this girl for just over a year, more than half of it spent apart. Frankly, you'd be mad to chuck out a very nice position in London on the off chance that you make things work out perfectly in Canada.

Be honest with each other... you're too young to give up good prospects for a college relationship. Don't string this out any longer.

Well weirder things have happened no? I would have thought it was easier to start somewhere when younger...unless Canada really is a stickler for academic titles and the like, and/or unemployment is pretty bad...which seems to be the case..still I think things can go anyway.

OP it is your life, your decisions, don't regret it.

Exactly!

You say have a good job, hopefully with a good pay cheque... Why not stick with the long distance thing for a while? Save cash for flights over every three months or so, make use of e-mail, texts, skype, phone calls, etc. etc. See how your relationship goes and see how your job goes. Lots of us on here have done the long distance relationship thing, and Toronto is much easier than Alberta because the time difference is two hours less! In due course you'll find out what your priorities are and what her priorities are. You may even decide to both move somewhere completely different!

ladies present

This is a difficult decision, one I have also made myself.

I lived in Canada where I met my husband on an IEC visa. When I returned to UK in June 2010 we did long distance. We did break up briefly in Sept 2010 for a few weeks as we freaked out a little bit about how it would work (we were 20 (me) & 21 (him) at the time). However that didn't last long and we both realised (as corny as it sounds) that we wanted to be together.

Since then we have been in a long distance relationship, we got married in late 2011 and he then sponsored me to move to Canada, and I have had my perm residency approved, which is now active.

I have been at Uni and will qualify as a nurse in September and then will move as soon as it's feasible.

I agree about Canada being very degree orientated, which is why I decided to finish my degree before moving. I'll have to do some more work when I'm there to convert my qualification too.


I think you will just have to give it serious thought... nothing worth having comes easy after all, is your girlfriend worth it? I think us breaking up was actually beneficial because it forced us to decide what we really wanted.

Hope you figure it out

At 21 you should shagging anything and everthing that breathes. Plus, Canada is no place a 21 year old, even a Canadian one.