Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
#1
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2013
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 58
Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Some of you will remember me coming on here a few months ago to gather your thoughts on a proposed move to Saskatoon from Manchester/London. Well, I moved (alone) to Saskatoon last July with my employer through intracompany transfer (3 year contract) mainly for the purpose of career advancement, adventure, and to be perfectly honest some financial incentives . I went back home for Christmas and New Year and since returning at the beginning of January, it has been a difficult three months. As many of you have experienced, I have had good days when I would think “Oh my career has developed tremendously in the last nine months, this is the kind of project I have always wanted to get involved in blah blah blah” and I have equally had low days when I just want to pack my stuff and get on the next flight.
I have tried settling in by joining a football club, a gymnastic club, blogging for a local fashion accessories maker, partaking in fashion features for a local magazine, and joining a local gym. In doing this, I have made many acquaintances and a few lovely friends, yet I feel as though I don’t know these friends well enough. I keep busy for the most part, but I miss my friends and family a lot. I miss the little things I took for granted – quality time with friends and family, the culture, history, the greenery, spring and autumn, the fashion, and as silly as it sounds the British media.
My employer has been very helpful in the settling down process. The dilemma is that they offered me the opportunity to visit before accepting the offer, which I declined to save time and cost because I was so intrigued by the project opportunities and responsibilities, plus I would have been tied down to a 5 month project in the UK office if I hadn't move by end of July . That was my biggest mistake and as they often say hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don’t want to give up on Canada after living in a place considered to be “Canada’s Sh**hole” for nine months, I’d like to try transferring to another city - Calgary or Vancouver and if there isn't any opening then I will have no other option but to move back to the UK. However my difficulties are how do I face my employer and tell them (1) sorry I can’t do this anymore, I want to move to another office in a bigger city and (2) If there is no opening in another office then I would like to move back to the UK. I feel like I would have let them down, plus they offered me the opportunity to visit first which I declined, but the truth is I am not happy here. And it’s not only because of the weather, summer was somewhat similar too but that was the honeymoon period, so it kind of papered over the cracks.
Thoughts would be much appreciated thanks.
I have tried settling in by joining a football club, a gymnastic club, blogging for a local fashion accessories maker, partaking in fashion features for a local magazine, and joining a local gym. In doing this, I have made many acquaintances and a few lovely friends, yet I feel as though I don’t know these friends well enough. I keep busy for the most part, but I miss my friends and family a lot. I miss the little things I took for granted – quality time with friends and family, the culture, history, the greenery, spring and autumn, the fashion, and as silly as it sounds the British media.
My employer has been very helpful in the settling down process. The dilemma is that they offered me the opportunity to visit before accepting the offer, which I declined to save time and cost because I was so intrigued by the project opportunities and responsibilities, plus I would have been tied down to a 5 month project in the UK office if I hadn't move by end of July . That was my biggest mistake and as they often say hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don’t want to give up on Canada after living in a place considered to be “Canada’s Sh**hole” for nine months, I’d like to try transferring to another city - Calgary or Vancouver and if there isn't any opening then I will have no other option but to move back to the UK. However my difficulties are how do I face my employer and tell them (1) sorry I can’t do this anymore, I want to move to another office in a bigger city and (2) If there is no opening in another office then I would like to move back to the UK. I feel like I would have let them down, plus they offered me the opportunity to visit first which I declined, but the truth is I am not happy here. And it’s not only because of the weather, summer was somewhat similar too but that was the honeymoon period, so it kind of papered over the cracks.
Thoughts would be much appreciated thanks.
#2
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Did you enjoy the period from July to Christmas?
Winter in Canada is pretty grim, especially if you haven't got skiing on your doorstep. Tough it out till summer at least.
Forget about the not doing the pre-employment visit, it wouldn't have changed anything, would it?
Winter in Canada is pretty grim, especially if you haven't got skiing on your doorstep. Tough it out till summer at least.
Forget about the not doing the pre-employment visit, it wouldn't have changed anything, would it?
#3
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Some of you will remember me coming on here a few months ago to gather your thoughts on a proposed move to Saskatoon from Manchester/London. Well, I moved (alone) to Saskatoon last July with my employer through intracompany transfer (3 year contract) mainly for the purpose of career advancement, adventure, and to be perfectly honest some financial incentives . I went back home for Christmas and New Year and since returning at the beginning of January, it has been a difficult three months. As many of you have experienced, I have had good days when I would think “Oh my career has developed tremendously in the last nine months, this is the kind of project I have always wanted to get involved in blah blah blah” and I have equally had low days when I just want to pack my stuff and get on the next flight.
I have tried settling in by joining a football club, a gymnastic club, blogging for a local fashion accessories maker, partaking in fashion features for a local magazine, and joining a local gym. In doing this, I have made many acquaintances and a few lovely friends, yet I feel as though I don’t know these friends well enough. I keep busy for the most part, but I miss my friends and family a lot. I miss the little things I took for granted – quality time with friends and family, the culture, history, the greenery, spring and autumn, the fashion, and as silly as it sounds the British media.
My employer has been very helpful in the settling down process. The dilemma is that they offered me the opportunity to visit before accepting the offer, which I declined to save time and cost because I was so intrigued by the project opportunities and responsibilities, plus I would have been tied down to a 5 month project in the UK office if I hadn't move by end of July . That was my biggest mistake and as they often say hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don’t want to give up on Canada after living in a place considered to be “Canada’s Sh**hole” for nine months, I’d like to try transferring to another city - Calgary or Vancouver and if there isn't any opening then I will have no other option but to move back to the UK. However my difficulties are how do I face my employer and tell them (1) sorry I can’t do this anymore, I want to move to another office in a bigger city and (2) If there is no opening in another office then I would like to move back to the UK. I feel like I would have let them down, plus they offered me the opportunity to visit first which I declined, but the truth is I am not happy here. And it’s not only because of the weather, summer was somewhat similar too but that was the honeymoon period, so it kind of papered over the cracks.
Thoughts would be much appreciated thanks.
I have tried settling in by joining a football club, a gymnastic club, blogging for a local fashion accessories maker, partaking in fashion features for a local magazine, and joining a local gym. In doing this, I have made many acquaintances and a few lovely friends, yet I feel as though I don’t know these friends well enough. I keep busy for the most part, but I miss my friends and family a lot. I miss the little things I took for granted – quality time with friends and family, the culture, history, the greenery, spring and autumn, the fashion, and as silly as it sounds the British media.
My employer has been very helpful in the settling down process. The dilemma is that they offered me the opportunity to visit before accepting the offer, which I declined to save time and cost because I was so intrigued by the project opportunities and responsibilities, plus I would have been tied down to a 5 month project in the UK office if I hadn't move by end of July . That was my biggest mistake and as they often say hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don’t want to give up on Canada after living in a place considered to be “Canada’s Sh**hole” for nine months, I’d like to try transferring to another city - Calgary or Vancouver and if there isn't any opening then I will have no other option but to move back to the UK. However my difficulties are how do I face my employer and tell them (1) sorry I can’t do this anymore, I want to move to another office in a bigger city and (2) If there is no opening in another office then I would like to move back to the UK. I feel like I would have let them down, plus they offered me the opportunity to visit first which I declined, but the truth is I am not happy here. And it’s not only because of the weather, summer was somewhat similar too but that was the honeymoon period, so it kind of papered over the cracks.
Thoughts would be much appreciated thanks.
Well your reasons for moving were career advancement (and financial incentives). You say that your career is developing the way that you want it to so I would say stick at it.
You will have soon been here a year ... only two more to go. Keep at the hobbies (good for you by the way!) and try and do some travel this year to other parts of Canada and down into the States. Try and use the time to explore areas that you may not get to see once you return to UK. Don't always use your vacation to 'go home'. You're in North America - there are lots of places that you can plan to see before heading home.
Co-incidentally I've been talking with my son on just this same subject, my consistent advice to him over the years has been to always see things through. You have a three year contract - nowadays it seems an old fashioned philosophy to stick to a commitment but I believe that it feels great to honor a worthwhile commitment that you’ve made and to follow through on that commitment. Making and sticking to a commitment builds confidence and makes you feel better about yourself. It builds trust with your colleagues, friends and family. Maybe you should focus on the positives - what will you gain? how will you benefit from staying in Saskatoon? Maybe take some online courses to back up your career progression.
The good news is, if you decide to leave, it will not mean the end of the world. You may feel bad for letting yourself and others down, but you can start over and try again. The feelings will be short-lived. It’s temporary pain
Good luck with whatever you decide J
#4
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Takes time to get to know a place and know the people. I don't know if < 1 year is enough to do it justice.
In threads like this I remind people that, even after a short period away, going "home" can feel equally as alien and you'll inevitably miss things you take for granted here in Canada on the flipside.
In threads like this I remind people that, even after a short period away, going "home" can feel equally as alien and you'll inevitably miss things you take for granted here in Canada on the flipside.
#5
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
I agree with the above, stick it out for at least a year.
With the friends, is it you always making the effort, or do you sit back and wait for them? Building a friendship takes a lot of work. You say you miss the friendship with your friends in the UK, but how long did it take for that to develop? I think you need to give it a bit more time.
You're doing everything right, and understandable that it's not the easiest, but these things don't happen immediately. And the summer will be gorgeous.
So I say to stick it out a bit more, and if after 18 months you still aren't happy then speak to your employer about moving to another city.
Good luck!
With the friends, is it you always making the effort, or do you sit back and wait for them? Building a friendship takes a lot of work. You say you miss the friendship with your friends in the UK, but how long did it take for that to develop? I think you need to give it a bit more time.
You're doing everything right, and understandable that it's not the easiest, but these things don't happen immediately. And the summer will be gorgeous.
So I say to stick it out a bit more, and if after 18 months you still aren't happy then speak to your employer about moving to another city.
Good luck!
#6
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,746
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
My gut reaction is to give it a bit longer.
I have been here just over 2 years and there are days I still get homesick.
I deliberately haven't been back to the UK in the first 2 years as I thought I would find it too unsettling. I think maybe going back so early didn't go you much good? you weren't here long enough for it to feel like "home" before you went back.
I also think you haven't been here long enough to make deep friendships - they take a while.
We are going back in a few weeks for a holiday and part of me still wonders whether it will do me any good or just set me back.
I would give it a good few more months before making a big decision - "If in doubt - no nowt"
I have been here just over 2 years and there are days I still get homesick.
I deliberately haven't been back to the UK in the first 2 years as I thought I would find it too unsettling. I think maybe going back so early didn't go you much good? you weren't here long enough for it to feel like "home" before you went back.
I also think you haven't been here long enough to make deep friendships - they take a while.
We are going back in a few weeks for a holiday and part of me still wonders whether it will do me any good or just set me back.
I would give it a good few more months before making a big decision - "If in doubt - no nowt"
#7
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Geordie's post is great.
Another thing that occurred to me - it helps to generally be working towards something to make somewhere feel more like home. Saving up for a house, planning some kind of trip around the area (take a week and do a hiking trip or something) - something to keep you occupied and to keep you striving towards something. Even sometimes tkaing a weekend to clean and tidy and rearrange your house to make it more "you" can be a great exercise to really feel like a space is your own.
Another thing that occurred to me - it helps to generally be working towards something to make somewhere feel more like home. Saving up for a house, planning some kind of trip around the area (take a week and do a hiking trip or something) - something to keep you occupied and to keep you striving towards something. Even sometimes tkaing a weekend to clean and tidy and rearrange your house to make it more "you" can be a great exercise to really feel like a space is your own.
#8
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Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2013
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 58
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Hi there!
Well your reasons for moving were career advancement (and financial incentives). You say that your career is developing the way that you want it to so I would say stick at it.
You will have soon been here a year ... only two more to go. Keep at the hobbies (good for you by the way!) and try and do some travel this year to other parts of Canada and down into the States. Try and use the time to explore areas that you may not get to see once you return to UK. Don't always use your vacation to 'go home'. You're in North America - there are lots of places that you can plan to see before heading home.
Co-incidentally I've been talking with my son on just this same subject, my consistent advice to him over the years has been to always see things through. You have a three year contract - nowadays it seems an old fashioned philosophy to stick to a commitment but I believe that it feels great to honor a worthwhile commitment that you’ve made and to follow through on that commitment. Making and sticking to a commitment builds confidence and makes you feel better about yourself. It builds trust with your colleagues, friends and family. Maybe you should focus on the positives - what will you gain? how will you benefit from staying in Saskatoon? Maybe take some online courses to back up your career progression.
The good news is, if you decide to leave, it will not mean the end of the world. You may feel bad for letting yourself and others down, but you can start over and try again. The feelings will be short-lived. It’s temporary pain
Good luck with whatever you decide J
Well your reasons for moving were career advancement (and financial incentives). You say that your career is developing the way that you want it to so I would say stick at it.
You will have soon been here a year ... only two more to go. Keep at the hobbies (good for you by the way!) and try and do some travel this year to other parts of Canada and down into the States. Try and use the time to explore areas that you may not get to see once you return to UK. Don't always use your vacation to 'go home'. You're in North America - there are lots of places that you can plan to see before heading home.
Co-incidentally I've been talking with my son on just this same subject, my consistent advice to him over the years has been to always see things through. You have a three year contract - nowadays it seems an old fashioned philosophy to stick to a commitment but I believe that it feels great to honor a worthwhile commitment that you’ve made and to follow through on that commitment. Making and sticking to a commitment builds confidence and makes you feel better about yourself. It builds trust with your colleagues, friends and family. Maybe you should focus on the positives - what will you gain? how will you benefit from staying in Saskatoon? Maybe take some online courses to back up your career progression.
The good news is, if you decide to leave, it will not mean the end of the world. You may feel bad for letting yourself and others down, but you can start over and try again. The feelings will be short-lived. It’s temporary pain
Good luck with whatever you decide J
Schnookololy, Geordie Lass- I understand where you are coming from, though I think I keep busy enough. The bad news is I have already booked tickets to visit home in June and Christmas.
#9
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,746
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Wise words, thanks. I went travelling around America for a month across 8 cities last October, which was brilliant. As some people have mentioned here, I guess going back home so early didn't do me much good.
Schnookololy, Geordie Lass- I understand where you are coming from, though I think I keep busy enough. The bad news is I have already booked tickets to visit home in June and Christmas.
Schnookololy, Geordie Lass- I understand where you are coming from, though I think I keep busy enough. The bad news is I have already booked tickets to visit home in June and Christmas.
I am saying it takes a lot longer to actually feel settled than what you've given it yet. I wonder if that's part of your problem. There is no doubt going back to the UK is unsettling for most of us.
Hang in there and until you are really sure what you are doing - sit on it. Making decisions in a bout of homesickness probably isn't wise....
#10
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
I agree with the others in that going home can sometimes make it harder, it certainly was harder for me to re-assimilate after being home for a month in July, but it reaffirmed my desire to go home, and the fact that I won't live in Canada much longer. I needed to know for sure if I really wanted to move home, and I did.
So if you go home and you have that thought, "I don't want to be in Canada anymore" , then thats a sign. If you really and truly don't like it here than go home before you spend too much time here, cos you may get into a whole thing of regret-"why did I come here" "I've wasted x years of my life" - if you don't like it but stay on.
I disagree with the fact that he wouldn't be honouring his commitment, because (correct me if i'm wrong) if he stays with the same company, just transfers to another city, be it in Canada or back in the UK, he's still on that 3 year contract with the company... Just fulfilling it a better place in the world.
Hey, you gave it a go, and that's what matters. If you didn't come, you may have wondered "What if" for the rest of your life.
And if you do have to leave your company, than so be it. Not the end of the world. You have to think whats best for you, not whats best for the company or whats "the right thing to do" . If you don't want to live in Saskatoon for the next 2 and a bit years, don't.
HTH
So if you go home and you have that thought, "I don't want to be in Canada anymore" , then thats a sign. If you really and truly don't like it here than go home before you spend too much time here, cos you may get into a whole thing of regret-"why did I come here" "I've wasted x years of my life" - if you don't like it but stay on.
I disagree with the fact that he wouldn't be honouring his commitment, because (correct me if i'm wrong) if he stays with the same company, just transfers to another city, be it in Canada or back in the UK, he's still on that 3 year contract with the company... Just fulfilling it a better place in the world.
Hey, you gave it a go, and that's what matters. If you didn't come, you may have wondered "What if" for the rest of your life.
And if you do have to leave your company, than so be it. Not the end of the world. You have to think whats best for you, not whats best for the company or whats "the right thing to do" . If you don't want to live in Saskatoon for the next 2 and a bit years, don't.
HTH
#11
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,746
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
I agree with the others in that going home can sometimes make it harder, it certainly was harder for me to re-assimilate after being home for a month in July, but it reaffirmed my desire to go home, and the fact that I won't live in Canada much longer. I needed to know for sure if I really wanted to move home, and I did.
So if you go home and you have that thought, "I don't want to be in Canada anymore" , then thats a sign. If you really and truly don't like it here than go home before you spend too much time here, cos you may get into a whole thing of regret-"why did I come here" "I've wasted x years of my life" - if you don't like it but stay on.
I disagree with the fact that he wouldn't be honouring his commitment, because (correct me if i'm wrong) if he stays with the same company, just transfers to another city, be it in Canada or back in the UK, he's still on that 3 year contract with the company... Just fulfilling it a better place in the world.
Hey, you gave it a go, and that's what matters. If you didn't come, you may have wondered "What if" for the rest of your life.
And if you do have to leave your company, than so be it. Not the end of the world. You have to think whats best for you, not whats best for the company or whats "the right thing to do" . If you don't want to live in Saskatoon for the next 2 and a bit years, don't.
HTH
So if you go home and you have that thought, "I don't want to be in Canada anymore" , then thats a sign. If you really and truly don't like it here than go home before you spend too much time here, cos you may get into a whole thing of regret-"why did I come here" "I've wasted x years of my life" - if you don't like it but stay on.
I disagree with the fact that he wouldn't be honouring his commitment, because (correct me if i'm wrong) if he stays with the same company, just transfers to another city, be it in Canada or back in the UK, he's still on that 3 year contract with the company... Just fulfilling it a better place in the world.
Hey, you gave it a go, and that's what matters. If you didn't come, you may have wondered "What if" for the rest of your life.
And if you do have to leave your company, than so be it. Not the end of the world. You have to think whats best for you, not whats best for the company or whats "the right thing to do" . If you don't want to live in Saskatoon for the next 2 and a bit years, don't.
HTH
Once decision is made then for sure - if you are unhappy go back - just give yourself long enough to make that decision.
However I can recommend Calgary wholeheartedly and it might just be that you need a change of city. Again if it were me I would give it longer and sit on it a bit...
#12
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Just concentrate on your career. You aren't going to make really good friends here anyway, it'll never really happen. You're always going to be the foreigner. Unlike the US, Canadians don't want Brits here as they're culturally narrow minded and insular (Goziwhatnot is not representative) plus you also compete for the few jobs going. That said, if your career is going well then naff them. Collect the dosh and go home when you can afford to.
Last edited by Oink; Mar 31st 2014 at 8:18 pm.
#13
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 1,746
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Just concentrate on your career. You aren't going to make really good friends here anyway, it'll never really happen. You're always going to be the foreigner. Unlike the US, Canadians don't want Brits here as they're culturally narrow minded and insular (Goziwhatnot is not representative) plus you also compete for the few jobs going. That said, if your career is going well then naff them. Collect the dosh and go home when you can afford to.
#14
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
Some of you will remember me coming on here a few months ago to gather your thoughts on a proposed move to Saskatoon from Manchester/London. Well, I moved (alone) to Saskatoon last July with my employer through intracompany transfer (3 year contract) mainly for the purpose of career advancement, adventure, and to be perfectly honest some financial incentives . I went back home for Christmas and New Year and since returning at the beginning of January, it has been a difficult three months. As many of you have experienced, I have had good days when I would think “Oh my career has developed tremendously in the last nine months, this is the kind of project I have always wanted to get involved in blah blah blah” and I have equally had low days when I just want to pack my stuff and get on the next flight.
I have tried settling in by joining a football club, a gymnastic club, blogging for a local fashion accessories maker, partaking in fashion features for a local magazine, and joining a local gym. In doing this, I have made many acquaintances and a few lovely friends, yet I feel as though I don’t know these friends well enough. I keep busy for the most part, but I miss my friends and family a lot. I miss the little things I took for granted – quality time with friends and family, the culture, history, the greenery, spring and autumn, the fashion, and as silly as it sounds the British media.
My employer has been very helpful in the settling down process. The dilemma is that they offered me the opportunity to visit before accepting the offer, which I declined to save time and cost because I was so intrigued by the project opportunities and responsibilities, plus I would have been tied down to a 5 month project in the UK office if I hadn't move by end of July . That was my biggest mistake and as they often say hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don’t want to give up on Canada after living in a place considered to be “Canada’s Sh**hole” for nine months, I’d like to try transferring to another city - Calgary or Vancouver and if there isn't any opening then I will have no other option but to move back to the UK. However my difficulties are how do I face my employer and tell them (1) sorry I can’t do this anymore, I want to move to another office in a bigger city and (2) If there is no opening in another office then I would like to move back to the UK. I feel like I would have let them down, plus they offered me the opportunity to visit first which I declined, but the truth is I am not happy here. And it’s not only because of the weather, summer was somewhat similar too but that was the honeymoon period, so it kind of papered over the cracks.
Thoughts would be much appreciated thanks.
I have tried settling in by joining a football club, a gymnastic club, blogging for a local fashion accessories maker, partaking in fashion features for a local magazine, and joining a local gym. In doing this, I have made many acquaintances and a few lovely friends, yet I feel as though I don’t know these friends well enough. I keep busy for the most part, but I miss my friends and family a lot. I miss the little things I took for granted – quality time with friends and family, the culture, history, the greenery, spring and autumn, the fashion, and as silly as it sounds the British media.
My employer has been very helpful in the settling down process. The dilemma is that they offered me the opportunity to visit before accepting the offer, which I declined to save time and cost because I was so intrigued by the project opportunities and responsibilities, plus I would have been tied down to a 5 month project in the UK office if I hadn't move by end of July . That was my biggest mistake and as they often say hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don’t want to give up on Canada after living in a place considered to be “Canada’s Sh**hole” for nine months, I’d like to try transferring to another city - Calgary or Vancouver and if there isn't any opening then I will have no other option but to move back to the UK. However my difficulties are how do I face my employer and tell them (1) sorry I can’t do this anymore, I want to move to another office in a bigger city and (2) If there is no opening in another office then I would like to move back to the UK. I feel like I would have let them down, plus they offered me the opportunity to visit first which I declined, but the truth is I am not happy here. And it’s not only because of the weather, summer was somewhat similar too but that was the honeymoon period, so it kind of papered over the cracks.
Thoughts would be much appreciated thanks.
That failing you can return home with a good 18 months of work experience on the resume.
#15
Re: Seeking the BE community's thoughts.
I agree with most of what you are saying. My opinion is that poster hasn't given it long enough to make that decision to go back yet or whether Canada isn't for them.
Once decision is made then for sure - if you are unhappy go back - just give yourself long enough to make that decision.
However I can recommend Calgary wholeheartedly and it might just be that you need a change of city. Again if it were me I would give it longer and sit on it a bit...
Once decision is made then for sure - if you are unhappy go back - just give yourself long enough to make that decision.
However I can recommend Calgary wholeheartedly and it might just be that you need a change of city. Again if it were me I would give it longer and sit on it a bit...
Just concentrate on your career. You aren't going to make really good friends here anyway, it'll never really happen. You're always going to be the foreigner. Unlike the US, Canadians don't want Brits here as they're culturally narrow minded and insular (Goziwhatnot is not representative) plus you also compete for the few jobs going. That said, if your career is going well then naff them. Collect the dosh and go home when you can afford to.
And again!