UxSims

Hello
I'm now in the process of getting married to a Canadian citizen and hopefully moving once the school ends so the kids can start school in September.
We will be moving to a small town near Toronto.

I found the forum and was about to ask some questions about what to expect, etc and then I read the thread about finding differences between Canada and the UK frustrating and now I'm in a mild panic.

I've not been that sure about this move, ever since we started talking about it. I love the UK. It's my home, it's what i know and I honestly hate changes. But, realistically, it made more sense for us to move there than for him to move here, so I reluctantly agreed.

I want to do this for the right reasons, but I keep on finding out about details that seem worse than in the UK.
Banking and mobile phones seem atrocious; online shopping seems like something from 20 years ago; schools seem to go at a much slower pace.

Everyone I know seems to find it an amazing move, but is it?

Coming from you guys, who have done it, especially those who moved with young children and teens, was it a good move?
What was great about it? Was was awful? I would love to hear your stories and (hopefully) feel more confident about this (but I would want to know all the downsides so I can be prepared if that makes sense?)

Thank you in advance for any helpful comments.

Millhouse

You sound like you are looking for negatives. I honestly think you're better off staying in England and not ready to embark on expat life.

UxSims

No, on the contrary. I'm going to move, but I'm afraid, never having been keen in big changes. Sorry if not everyone who ends up emigrating fits in your image of perfect expat, ready and willing.

Some of us will be less adventurous and will look for forums like this one to hear positives in order to cheer up and negatives in order to prepare.

Thanks for your opinion, but I don't recall mentioning that staying was an option.

Regards

Oink

In that case, remember it's his country/culture, so it'll end up being a battle of power between you and your husband and his culture, so make sure you don't cede too much of your agency.

Millhouse

Well some positives are:
- different food, different TV, different mobile phone packages, different banking, different internet shopping, different pace of life, different schools.

see, the things you listed as worries or negatives are, in fact, positives. It's just how you choose to view them. Remember you choose your mood.

Yes, you will miss stuff - decent tea, biscuits but embrace the change. If you compare you will fail.

Stay busy - it's the key. Pining for home will not make you happy - nor will living in a VPN bubble watching easterners

For me, as an expat (in the middle east of all places) - the best bit is getting away from the British culture of moaning and always focusing on negatives. You'll be surprised how people outside of Britain actually look at positives in life

evets

Depending on what part of the UK you are moving from, be prepared for a culture shock. If coming from a major city to a suburb outside of Toronto, will be a big change.

Have you discussed with your partner about coming over for a holiday first to get a feel for the place. Would probably be a good idea, considering your feelings.

Banking is a bit(I use that term loosely) of an experience here, and yes I agree somewhat backward compared to the UK and Australia. Was shocked that banks charged fees when I moved to Australia, coming to Canada and the fees for banking are shocking. Cannot comment about mobile phones, but the PAYG plan I got one was painless to join but I think probably slightly expensive, then again hard to compare as not used PAYG for many years.

Online shopping is good, especially compared to Australia. Amazon, bestbuy, Walmart and so forth. Really no different from the UK. Some small things like getting groceries delivered are not common here, and living in a small suburb you will find it even more difficult I suspect.

TV is geared to you paying for a subscription to cable, free to air is possible but is very dependent on how far you live from the transmitter and buying an antenna.

Canada may offer you a better life, but the grass is not always greener. If you are feeling nervous now, that is quite normal. Just talk with your partner about your feelings as this is a big change for you, as as you mention taking you outside your comfort zone.

Another thing to consider is house prices, Toronto is second most expensive city in Canada and wages do not reflect that.

Twitcher1958

I think it's worth remembering that people will mention differences they find worse more readily than better ones! I don't have a problem with banking over here - I like the fact that there are accessible branches of banks available and people use them.
On line shopping wasn't as common here as the UK when we came 7 years ago but has improved a lot, although I don't use it much.
Schooling is a bit different - we came with a 12 and 16 year old - and generally had a very positive experience. One has now graduated from university and the other just started. We live in a town east of Toronto so pm me if you want particular feedback.
Good luck with your adventure!

Pollyana

I can't talk specifically about Canada, but as someone who moved to be with their partner, the one piece of advice I would give is - talk to him. Tell him in advance about your worries, and tell him to expect you to feel unsettled and to probably be critical of a lot of things on arrival. If he can tolerate that, without just telling you to put up and shut up, then thats a good start and you will hopefully start to settle.
He also needs to try and show you the best bits of the place you moved to; try and get out and about and see things beyond the day to day routine. One thing I regret is that I had no 'honeymoon period' when I got to Aus. I had to start job hunting from day one, 12-16 hours a day, my OH had no time off work at all and at weekends just wanted to collapse in front of the TV. I could've been in Timbuctoo for all I saw of my new home, and so I learnt to hate it as I felt like a prisoner.
Your OH is Canadian so presumably will know good places to go, and that should help you to settle. Experience everything you can!

Good luck

beckiwoo

Food is better although some groceries more expensive, TV is worse, mobile phones are more expensive with the monthly plans, banking is medieval, I don't do internet shopping here that much anymore and don't know about schools.

Absolutely nothing wrong with using a VPN btw. I only watch UK TV, Netflix and DVDs because cable is awful here

pdarwin

It's difficult to say how you will handle it as people react to moving differently. My wife and I have lived in 4 different countries long term and have moved with relative ease and settled in quickly. At the end of the day, you're still going to endure the fundamental core of first-world life by working; getting paid; paying mortgage or rent; health care; etc. It's just the peripheral bits surrounding this core that may be somewhat better or worse. Swings and roundabouts.
The one thing that many expats may regret later in life is relatives back home getting older and less able and you not being able to be there for them. Something many of us don't think about until it's too late.

DandNHill

We brought 4 kids over. At the time they were 19, 18, 12 and 6. That was 5 1/2 years ago.
They all love it here and are very settled.
Everybody is different. Just keep an open mind. There will be things that irritate you of course but just accept that things that are different are not necessarily bad.

Lychee

It's all about your mindset.

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right."

My advice is to not think of it as a move for improvement or amazement. Think of it as a move for difference and change. You have to embrace the change. It is not the UK. It is a different society. It functions differently. It will not provide you with a better life than the UK. It will provide you with a different life than the UK. Go in expecting change and not focusing on whether things are better than life back home. They will simply be different. If you go in expecting "an amazing move", you're setting yourself up for disappointment, because things may not improve - they'll just be different. If you go in expecting things to be different, you can't be disappointed, and ultimately, you'll be happier for it.

I wrote this post on another thread, which may be worth a read: http://britishexpats.com/forum/canad.../#post12174080

BristolUK

Where does 'Canadian' tea come from that makes it different?
Rich Tea, Digestives, chocolate fingers, Hobnobs...they're really not hard to come by and they needn't be hugely expensive. Also there are very passable equivalents like Pim's for Jaffa Cakes.

I even bought Papadopoulos biscuits cheap on Friday, that I've only ever seen previously in Greece.

___

As for banking, yes it's a little behind in some respects and the fees aren't good when you're used to free. But you really don't spend that much time banking. Free banking (President's Choice) isn't hard to find and isn't most banking done on line anyway?

You might miss Grocery shopping on the internet (less so in Toronto area, perhaps) but then you miss many of the great deals available to those actually in the supermarket. I'm not talking about mark downs because the dates are (almost) up, there's big money to be saved by being there.

The thing about generally lower quality, riddled with advertising, North American TV is that you either pay a lot for what's on and then you watch it because you've paid for it or you actually look for things you want to watch on different resources.

It's far more enjoyable to watch as a result. Once you establish your favoured methods and sources it's far more satisfying.

geoff52

I have lived in the UK for 30 years and lived in Canada for 20 years. My observation is that Uk has declined in those twenty years. Even my children who have gone back to the UK to work prefer Canada after living in the UK for two years.
The area I lived in midlands has changed completely because of Poles Romanian and other EU migrants.
When we moved to Canada we were lucky because we had relatives living in Canada, who helped us settle.
We rented for two months and then bought our first house, I already had a job lined up before arriving in Canada.
So every body have different experiences when they move to new country.

HGerchikov

We came with two young (ish) children, 9 and 5 at the time of the move. They both loved it right from the start and I settled in very quickly too. Yes things are done differently and some of it is a bit difficult to comprehend why it should be done that way but it is so no point stressing about it. It has been a great move for us, we came just because we got the chance to and stayed because we like it. We had a good life in the UK too. I think constantly comparing the two countries is a huge mistake, particularly as you forget the frustrations of the one you left and remember the good bits whereas you are living the frustrations of the one you are in on a daily basis. We have been here since 2004.